Help! I Need a Publisher!

The Literary Conference: Writing in the Digital Age

2012-01-27T07:05:00.005Z

A new event for your diary: on June 8th and 9th, in London, The Literary Consultancy is holding a fab-sounding conference entitled The Literary Conference: Writing in the Digital Age.

I'm on a panel with Kate Mosse, chaired by Guardian literary editor, Claire Armitstead. This is an event I'm REALLY looking forward to! We're going to be talking about what the new publishing models and possibilities mean for authors, how everything is changing and how we can all make the most of it without losing sight of the important bit: writing a great book.

I'm also on a panel at the Cambridge Wordfest about how to get published, on Saturday 14th April. No link yet, but you can be sure I'll let you know.

Meanwhile, DO sign up to the June conference. The programme looks quite wonderful.

Pitch your pitch - it's back!

2012-01-25T07:08:00.019Z

Would you like the readers of this blog (and me) to help shape your pitch, that tricky paragraph that goes in the covering letter and hooks you a fabulous agent and/or publisher? Well, we've done that on this blog before and we're going to do it again. Hooray!

Here's what to do:

A. First read some of the previous posts about pitches and hooks. For example, this one and this one.
B. Second, read the post about 25-word pitches here, and at least some of the 117 comments!
C. Then, if you'd like us to help with your pitch, do this:

Email your pitch paragraph to me at writingtutor@hotmail.co.uk, in the body of the email, not as an attachment.
In the email, tell me whether you want your real name used, and tell me what genre the book is and, if for children, the age range.
Make sure that your pitch is as good as you can make it, following these guidelines:

every word must count
it needs must-read factor, in keeping with the genre
it should focus on the main character (if fiction)
it must be specific and not general - eg not "it's about redemption" but "it's about an angry young man who...because...and then"
it must indicate how the story ends or at least where the journey is heading
it should not contain rhetorical questions
the tone must reflect the tone of the book
it must be objective and therefore contain no praisey bits. You cannot say "beautifully written", for example. Though you can say "fast-moving".
your target word count is as close to 160 words as possible
in essence, your aim is to make someone who would normally read and love this genre be desperate to read this book :))

Hook 'em with a pointy hook!

I usually get a lot of people sending pitches in for this so I can't promise to include yours. What I do promise is that I will not set you up for failure, in the sense that I won't put it on the blog if I think you are going to get mostly negative feedback. My blog readers are an incredibly supportive and sensible bunch and feedback has been of high quality but sometimes I feel that a pitch isn't really ready for public scrutiny and then I won't put it up. But if I don't put yours up it might be just that I didn't have space! I also try to vary the genres.

Meanwhile, today I am wearing my red pointy boots at an award ceremony that Wasted is shortlisted for. It's called the RED award and personally I think I should win simply because the cover is red. And so are my boots. What more does anyone want??

Crabbit's Tips for Writers - 5: Ingredients of Poor Writing

2012-01-23T07:02:00.010Z

You may remember that last year I started a set of Crabbit's Tips for Writers. Here's No 5. To find the others, go to the list of labels on the right (scroll down) and choose Crabbit's Tips for Writers. You can also go here to download the pretty pdf and print it out, if you so wish.

Crabbit's Tips 5: Ingredients of Poor Writing
You will have spotted that I’m not suggesting you insert these ingredients in your writing! I believe that knowing the ingredients of poor writing is a very good start in your quest to making sure that your writing is not poor. What follows is a list of the most common faults we find in manuscripts that are submitted to agents, publishers and consultants such as me. All except No 12 apply equally whether you’re self-publishing or wanting to be published.

Clearly, this list can’t explain the points in any detail. I suggest you a) ensure you understand the error and b) bear it in mind when you are editing your work. Write to be Published (WTBP) explains each one properly and my blog also contains detail – use the search box top right.

1. Starting in the wrong place and giving far too much back story too early. It’s usually best to start in the middle of something dramatic and drip-feed back story only as necessary, and not before necessary.

2. Over-writing. This includes: too many adjectives, too many adverbs, horribly inappropriate and unnecessary similes or other imagery, and giving the reader far more detail or description or explanation than he wants or needs. Rein it in, writers! Stop trying to sound like a writer; just be one.

3. Low stakes. For a reader to be interested, she needs to know what the main character stands to lose if he fails. His life? Sanity? His lover? Or 50p for the parking meter?

4. Weak structure. Once you’ve worked out what your storyline roughly is, sketch it out to make sure that the structure is clear, strong and leads upwards to a great climax (or three). See this post.

5. Clunky sentences. If in doubt, simplify the sentence to avoid too many tangled clauses.

6. Lack of suspense. Drip clues of future drama/ terror/ angst/ disaster/ whatever. Think of how films set the mood and make us fear/expect etc.

7. Poor pace. All books need varying speeds; even fast, dramatic books need to slow sometimes. On my blog, use the search words pace and breathing, and you’ll find lots of posts, especially this one about chapters.

8. Inconsistent voice. Many highly successful books rely on a highly original voice (such as Room and Incendiary); but you don’t have to rely on this. What you do need is for the voice to be consistent throughout. Or if you have more than one voice, it must be consistent within that section.

9. Wrong or inconsistent POV. Point of view needs careful handling. WTBP tackles many aspects of it. POV slippages are irritating and even when not consciously noticed can interrupt meaning.

10. Saggy middle. Yup, beginnings are easy and endings don’t matter as much (people will always disagree about endings and you can’t please everyone) but a saggy middle stops readers reaching the end. WTBP has advice, and so does my blog but I can’t find the post now.

11. EITHER lack of originality OR not fitting genre expectations. Yes, only one is necessary but one is necessary. (That is, IF you are seeking publication by a publisher, rather than self-pubbing.)

12. Imperfect control of grammar and sentence structure. Obvs. And obviously I can’t go over every possible error (and nor does WTBP). But you probably know how strong your grammar is. If you feel it needs help, I suggest a) keep your structures simple (nothing wrong with simple) and b) get someone to check and possibly even help you improve.

13. Punctuation errors – especially in speech and the irritating comma splice. If you’re unsure, take steps to find out whether you’re doing it right.

GOOD LUCK AND WRITE WELL!

The CRABBIT’S TIPS series consists of:
1. Writing Fiction
2. Getting Published
3. Submitting to Agents and Publishers
4. Publishing Yourself
5. Ingredients of Poor Writing
6. Synopses
7. Non-fiction Proposals
8. Author events
9. Teenage Writing
10. Children’s Writing

And more planned.

Write a Great Synopsis launches at a crazy intro price! Wot? AND Tweet Right??

2012-01-20T07:00:00.009Z

Announcing the launch of Write a Great Synopsis - hooray! All your troubles are at an end. Well, the ones relating to writing synopses, anyway. And that's quite enough to be going on with.

To celebrate, I have a crazy price promotion until the end of January: Write a GREAT Synopsis and Tweet Right - The Sensible Person's Guide to Twitter will each be stupid cheap on Amazon. I'm aiming for 99p, but VAT and currency fluctuations, along with Amazon's naughtiness, are making that hard to acheive. So, forgive me if it's £1 or even - gasps - £1.02.

But only till the end of January. So hurry! Unfortunately, I can't do the same price promotion on other platforms, and have less control over the price, but I'm going to try to set it low on Lulu, which feeds ibookstore etc, but it can't be lower than Amazon. (*growls*)

Here are the links to the books on Amazon UK:

Write a Great Synopsis on Amazon UK - for Kindle AND laptops/ipads/etc if you download the FREE Kindle app

Tweet Right on Amazon UK - as above.

For non-UK purchases, please see the Amazon.com site and do a search for the titles.

Spread the word - Crabbit has gone mad. And remember: it's January only. Imagine how weird it would be for a book on synopsis-writing to be near the top of the charts :) Together, we can do it.

And tonight on Twitter there will be fizz, as soon as I'm back from Oxford, where I had mucho fun with some workshoppers and a whole load of imaginary characters. Join us!

Where am I?

2012-01-19T10:02:00.002Z

Today, the WAGSynopsis blog tour visits How Publishing Really Works and dances all over Jane's house.

Tomorrow, I will be over at Talli Roland's sparkly blog. Both those posts give you chances to enter the BIG WAGSynopsis Comp, with prizes of actual synopsis critiques from actual me.

Tomorrow, Friday, is OFFICIAL LAUNCH DAY, when the book will OFFICIALLY be available. Certain eagle-eyed people among you have spotted that it sneakily already is :)

So there. Today and tomorrow I'm on trains (which is why I can't put those links on the blog tour sidebar yet) and talking to lovely writers in Oxford this evening.

Play nicely.

All writers should self-publish

2012-01-18T07:04:00.000Z

No, I haven't gone entirely mad. Or even, I venture to say, a tiny bit mad. Nor have I started to believe the self-publishing-is-the-answer-to-everything and the publishing-is-completely-broken rubbish.

I am, as you know, a published (more than 90 books) author who has also ventured into self-publishing, and who is enjoying it. I dare even say succeeding, though John Locke need not watch his back. But my steps into self-publishing do not mean turning up my nose at traditional (hate that word but... ) publishing: yes, I still want to be published by publishers. Pretty please. And, especially, to have my books in proper bookshops.

And I believe all writers should self-publish.

I'll rephrase that: I believe that all writers should self-publish something. (Unless they have worked in a publishing company themselves.)

Why? Because I think that self-publishing teaches us a great deal, if we choose to listen, and I believe it teaches us a great deal about how difficult publishing is.

Actually, no: publishing is easy. Anyone can publish a book and publishing ebooks is child's play. (Literally; I heard of a teacher whose primary pupils publish their own work to Kindle, actually doing the publishing bit themselves.)

Yes, publishing is easy but selling is hard. And it's the selling of our books that causes published writers so many gripes about their publishers.

That's why I think we'd all benefit (and our future publishers would benefit) if we tried to publish something ourselves. Our increased understanding would both make us able to contribute better to the marketing process with our future publisher and more appreciative of why disappointments do happen. Also, we'd be more realistic and professional-sounding in our pitches. No longer would we believe that our lovely book was certain to sell tens of thousands if it really wasn't. Our ideas, our pitches, our writing, our consideration of our readers - all these would, I venture, be tighter, more professional, more likely to be realised.

I'm quite prepared to admit that what I've learnt through publishing Tweet Right, Mondays are Red and Write a Great Synopsis leads me to be a little less harsh on publishers who have made mistakes, either in their decisions to publish (or not publish) or in their failure to sell as many copies of an author's books as they should.

It's harder than we think to reach those readers. Only when we've tried to sell something in a market where there are hundreds of thousands of competitors can we truly know how hard it is. We become, I think, more connected to the reader who buys our book, buys it from us, not from some middleman.

So, yes, self-publish in order to learn what it's like on the other side.

But does this mean I'm letting publishers off the hook? Oh, no! I'd also like every publisher to try to write a book. I'd like them to know what it feels like to put our precious oeuvre, perhaps the work of two years or more, into someone else's hands and watch it sink and vanish, as most do. I'd like them to deal with negative reviews and poor sales, when we only have that one book to earn our crust with that year. Don't get me wrong: I love what I do and I choose to do it, and the same can be said for almost all of us. I do NOT want you to get the violins out. Nevertheless, it's harder than most publishers think. It's more emotional, more raw, more distracting, more damn gutwrenching

And both writers and publishers should understand a little more of the challenges of the other.

The Big Write a GREAT Synopsis Competition!

2012-01-16T07:20:00.045Z

At last, Write a Great Synopsis – An Expert Guide is almost available. (Henceforward, WAGSynopsis, or if you’re feeling cheeky, WAGS.) It will be published officially on Friday though it could be available on Amazon earlier. At a crazy price of under £1 for January ONLY.

As the responses from early readers came in pre-publication, I admit my heart started to sing. The book seemed to have achieved just what I wanted: the removal of stress, and the sudden delighted realisation from writers that the synopsis is nothing at all to panic about or even to dislike.

Here are some comments:

Carole Blake, literary agent and author of From Pitch to Publication: “Write a Great Synopsis is a truly fabulous tool for authors, addressing a problem area that can stop new writers in their tracks. ... I think this book will alleviate so much of the stress that writers feel when approaching the moment when they must write a synopsis. I will be recommending it to clients. The advice is pure gold.”

Kirsty Logan, writer who has just acquired a literary agent (YAY!): “I was starting to think that writing a synopsis was harder than writing a novel, but Nicola Morgan stopped me panicking with her wise, friendly, experienced advice.”

Joanna Cannon, aspiring author: “Write a Great Synopsis answered all of my awkward questions and now I actually want to write one. Nicola Morgan's usual wit, wisdom and honesty, as well as the clear, helpful information, make her advice stand out in the crowd of 'how-to' books on the market.”

Michael Cail, aspiring author: “I loved it! I don't think being asked to provide a synopsis will fill me with the icy dread it once did.”

Liz de Jager, from My Favourite Books blog: “Having read a great many blogposts and comments from all and sundry on the internet, and still come away confused, I fell on my copy of Write a Great Synopsis with gusto. Nicola Morgan has gone and, in her usual charming and no-nonsense style, given us something to refer to again and again. There is solid advice from Nicola, several actual examples, but also commentary from industry professionals, which genuinely makes you re-think your approach to writing in general, and working on that synopsis.”

Clare Kirkpatrick, aspiring author: “I had been dreading trying to write a synopsis but I am now actually itching to get the novel finished and polished so I can get to what now feels like the exciting job of writing the synopsis! I had a go at the method Nicola recommends, and found to my delight that my novel does indeed have a heart and it's not just a pile of tangled crap after all. I am all fired up again!”

So there! Thanks to all of them for taking the time to read it.

To keep the rest of you going, here’s something for you:

BIG WAGSynopsis COMP

Win a synopsis critique and advice from the Crabbit Old Bat herself! Surrounding publication on January 20th of Write a Great Synopsis – An Expert Guide, I will be visiting many blogs for a guest post, review or interview. (Beginning tomorrow on Stephanie Butland's lovely blog.) If you’d like the chance of winning help with your synopsis, simply leave a relevant comment on any of the guest posts - including any WAGS-related posts on my blog, beginning with this one. It could be a deep and meaningful comment or a plea to the gods of fortune to pick you! One comment per post – but comment on each post if you wish. On February 15th, each blog host will send me the names of valid commenters and I will do a random selection, using a random number generator and my sparkly fairy dust spreader.

Prizes:
1st Prize: a synopsis critique from me; your choice of one of my books*, subject to availability, signed; a sought-after (only 6 in the world!) Write to be Published mug; a crabbit bag; and a pile of postcards.
2nd Prize: a synopsis critique; a signed book (mine); postcards.
3rd Prize: a synopsis critique; postcards.

(* For clarity: an ebook can't be signed and therefore WAGS is not one of the books you can win. It's so cheap that I don't feel guilty suggesting you should buy it!)

The list of blogs I’m visiting (from tomorrow) will appear one by one on the panel on the right. Do go and read them – all the bloggers are great supporters of writers.

Here is the lovely short book trailer, made by my film-maker daughter just before she headed off to make documentaries in South Africa for six months.

Meanwhile, let the commenting begin. And come back on Friday for lots of fizz.I will be spending Friday on a train back from Oxford, where I will have been doing a two-hour Write to be Published workshop at Blackwells. I will deserve fizz, I hope! But not on the train.

The utter joy of books (real ones in a shop)

2012-01-14T14:29:00.001Z

I have no words to add to this.

How much promotion is too much?

2012-01-13T07:26:00.051Z

I was asked this on Twitter the other day. The reason the conversation arose is that a successful writer has been bugging the pants off people on Twitter. (Please, if you know who I mean, do NOT identify him on my blog. I have no desire at all to embarrass the poor chap. Besides, I hear there are more than one bug... Erm, person who bugs.)

Poor chap? Hang on! His book has done fantabulously well, so surely his bugging-people-on-Twitter strategy worked? Why should he feel any embarrassment?

Let me tackle this, before I move on to talk about how much promotion is too much.

First, we have no idea at all whether the bugging strategy worked. We have no idea if it was even a strategy. For all I know, he was just being over-excited. Importantly, we also have no idea whether he'd have sold as many or even more if he hadn't bugged pants off people.

BUT he has sold stacks and stacks of copies, so he really shouldn't care if he's annoyed anyone, should he?

Well, here I come to my second point: it depends whether he (or any writer who crosses invisible lines) minds what people think. And that is entirely up to the individual; everyone's skin is of a different thickness. So, I will not say he or anyone "shouldn't" have crossed the lines he crossed. I will not say he should be embarrassed.

But I would be.

And this is at least part of my main point, moving on to the wider question. "How much promotion is too much" depends both on you, the writer, and on you, the reader.

Everything is a judgement call. Every blog post, every tweet, every Facebook status update, every email to a festival organiser pitching an event. Every time you tell a personal friend about your latest short-listing, every time you say "me" or "my book", every video trailer, every pile of postcards you order from Vistaprint. Every quote you add to your email signature; every new review you put on your website. All of it, every single time, is a judgement call.

But how do we make that judgement? Are there any objective measures? What things turn people off? Well, probably not exactly objective but there seem to be some general lines that a decent number of people would agree on. Let me tell you what my own guidelines are. They are the lines which I try not to cross and the crossing of which by others bugs the pants off me, to the extent that I'm highly unlikely to buy their books or want to help them in any way. (Like anyone, I may occasionally get over-excited and accidentally put my toe over a line - I would then try to pull it back immediately.) They are the guidelines which I sense many others follow and approve. You don't have to follow these guidelines but I'm comfortable with them. You have to find what's comfortable for you.

So, here are my guidelines:

DO

Give far more than you ask for. In other words, if your blog/FB timeline/Twitter feed is mostly giving people information, support, or entertainment without asking anything, it is fine if you sometimes plug your own work or ask your readers, colleagues and friends or "followers" to consider doing something for you. (Bearing in mind other points below.)
I've heard a 90% rule given - 90% of your online activity should be giving, and then you can use the other 10% for blagging. (Bearing in mind the points below.) I've also heard a 60/40 rule from marketing professionals, but I definitely prefer the 90/10 one, which is for mere humans.
Be generous in your praise of others. Be nice. And if you can't be nice, be silent.
When you ask people to do something (such as read a blog post or click a link or buy your book) do so generally and openly, not individually or privately. (See below.) If you make it general and don't address your message to anyone specific, you make it easy for people to ignore it, which is as it should be.

DON'T

Ask a stranger or slight acquaintance to do ANYTHING for you. (This is where complaints came in.) Not even the smallest thing. Not even to retweet your tweet. So, on Twitter, never send a DM (private message) to someone who is not genuinely a good friend to ask them to do even the smallest thing. Even to do something you think is fun. (Someone said, "But surely you wouldn't mind if I DM'd you to ask you to do something you'd enjoy?" Only I can be the judge of what I would enjoy. You don't know me, so don't assume.)
(Don't) Forget that no one loves your book as much as you do.
(Don't) Forget that there are eleventy million other books for people to buy.
(Don't) Assume that all your friends will buy your book. They can't all afford to and they can't afford to buy all their friends' books, especially if they are writers, because writers have many friends who are writers.
(Don't) Ask people to review your book, except as a very general and light request. I'm cautious about doing this at all, as I think it can sound needy, but I will occasionally in a very careful and tentative way. Also, again very occasionally, if someone privately tells me they absolutely loved one of my books, I might cautiously ask if they might possibly have time to write a quick recommendation on Amazon (or something) but I would also make it very clear that I absolutely wouldn't mind if they didn't. I will make it easy for them not to.

I think it all boils down to three things:

Don't do what you don't like others to do.
Give far more than you expect to receive.
Never ask even a tiny favour of someone who you don't feel is actually your friend. Especially if that person is busy.

As I say, these are my guidelines, which I recommend to you. I admit that I might sell more books if I crossed more lines, but I would be uncomfortable. I'd rather have my modest sales but feel reasonably comfortable that most people are not being totally bugged by me. I hope! (NB I'm sure, logically, that I've pissed some people off: it would be pretty hard never to cross anyone's lines. But I carefully watch out for what annoys me in others - and I do have a fairly low tolerance - and actively try to avoid doing the same. It's all any of us can do.)

What about Facebook (your Author page, not your personal FB profile) and your own website?
Ah, now this is where you can do much more. People come to your FB page or your website to find out about you. They expect to find links to reviews, newspaper articles, videos of you, or news of awards and short listings. So, putting those items as prominently as you like in those places is absolutely fine, though I would never advocate cockiness or boasting. Saying, "I've been shortlisted for such-and-such" is not the same as saying, "I'm a totally fabulous famous author. Kiss my feet, losers." The point that makes your FB author page or your website a place where you can play by different rules is the element of choice that the visitor has in coming there and why they came: to see you and find out what you've done.

I stressed that I'm talking about the FB Author Page, not your personal page. This is a matter of opinion, but I know that I and many writers and readers who I respect don't like their social space overwhelmed by promotional updates. So, my advice is to keep it the normal FB pages social, soft, supportive, and to do your promotional stuff on your Author page. It doesn't matter if it sometimes overlaps, but I really think the 90/10 rule is best applied to social networks. I think it's fine to post links to your blog sometimes though, as long as that's not all you do. Just don't do the "Ooh, look how freaking successful I am!" thing. Apart from anything else, there are a lots more writers amongst your friends who are feeling very vulnerable and you just trod all over them. They won't thank you.

Back to Twitter, where this began: personally, I think the writer who was being discussed has used Twitter very successfully. Good on him. But I don't like using Twitter. I like enjoying it. Therefore, I can't in all honesty recommend the bugging-the-pants-off-people approach. Even if it works for him.

What do you think? Do those guidelines make sense? What else bugs you? Or what doesn't?

PS I can't tell you what I'm doing today, because that would be blatant self-promotion. I may casually drop it into conversation on Twitter and hope people will notice. Mind you, if I actually ~~WIN the thing~~... No, shhh, woman. You just crossed a line. Or did I? What do you think?

Books with foreign settings

2012-01-11T07:24:00.002Z

With permission, I'm reproducing this email from reader Elizabeth Dunn:

"Dear Nicola,
I have just read Rachelle Gardner's blog [sorry, can't find it, but anyway] about books with foreign settings being difficult to place in the US market. It is rather disheartening as I am writing my upper middle grade book about a British boy being dragged off to a month long holiday in Venice. Most of the action takes place in Venice. Would UK readers have a hard time reading about Venice? Has my setting completely cut me out of the market? Can a UK based book reach US markets easily? What's your experience?

"Thank you for your time and your great blog."

No, UK readers certainly would have no trouble reading about Venice. Not only is there the well-known Agatha Christie novel, but we've also loved a whole load of others, including the first one that springs to my mind: Salley Vickers' Miss Garnet's Angel. Venice is absolutely a wonderful setting for a novel.

As to whether a UK-based book can reach US markets, it depends on a) the precise setting b) how strong the setting is and c) the other powerful aspects of the story. To elaborate:

a) The precise setting matters: Edinburgh and London will work well. Leicester and Hull less so. With apologies to Leicester and Hull. (And this does NOT mean you can't set books in Leicester and Hull, just that they won't of themselves be a draw to those who don't appreciate the romantic aspects of those cities.) HOWEVER, please note my next point.

b) If the setting is only mildly present, it doesn't matter at all. For example, Meg Rosoff's Just in Case was set near Luton and won the Carnegie Medal, but the setting is not vividly realised, (though it is important.) If your setting is a major factor, richly described, it matters more if the setting is not well-known to a US/other market. Also, US readers are said to be less willing to read outside their shores, but I think this factor is exaggerated, frankly. Put it this way, no one (sane) is going to read a book because it's about Luton but they might not mind discovering halfway through the book that it happens to be.

c) It's the power of the story that matters most. The setting really shouldn't negatively affect the book if the book is strong enough. And the setting can enrich the book, regardless of whether it's romantic or aspired-to.

So, Elizabeth, I don't think you have a problem. However, writers should consider the power of every aspect of their book over the reader, and setting can be important.

WAGSynopsis is coming soon!

2012-01-09T07:07:00.004Z

To those who keep asking when Write a Great Synopsis is published: NEXT WEEK! On Friday, officially, though it's likely to be available slightly before.

Also, it will be crazy cheap until the end of January. Under £1. Yes, really. I will be doing a price promotion for both Tweet Right and WAGSynopsis but I must emphasise that this will only be till the end of January, when they will return to a very reasonable just-under-£3 mark. I very rarely do price promotions and I value my hard work, but a promotion has its place occasionally.

There will be a Big WAGSynopsis Competition, running till mid-Feb, with prizes of actual synopsis critiques by moi, and other goodies. Watch this space.

To whet your appetite, take a look at this fab trailer that my film-maker daughter, Rebecca, made just before she scooted off to South Africa for six months to make proper films.

I've had excellent feedback so far from reviewers. Including the top agent, Carole Blake. All details of the book so far are here.

Get your red pens ready. The synopsis is about to make sense! Smart, snappy and stressfree :)

A short story competition - with publication and dosh!

2012-01-07T08:26:00.001Z

I bring you interesting news of a great short story competition. Thanks to Tom Vowler for telling me about this.

Short FICTION, the visual literary journal, has launched its 6th annual short story competition.

First prize - £500 + publication
Runner-up - £100

There's no restriction on theme. Stories must be previously unpublished (in print and online) and should not exceed 5000 words. Entry is £10 which allows you to submit up to 2 stories, as well as entitling you to a free copy of the next issue of Short FICTION (worth £10). All entries are also considered for publication in the upcoming 2012 issue.

The deadline for entry is March 31st, so get polishing those stories. More details plus interviews and sample stories at www.shortfictionjournal.co.uk

Open letter to the Scottish Cabinet Secretary for Health and Wellbeing

2012-01-04T07:09:00.018Z

To Nicola Sturgeon, Deputy First Minister and Cabinet Secretary for Health and Wellbeing

Dear Ms Sturgeon,
As the previous Chair of the Society of Authors in Scotland, I wish to draw your attention urgently to a matter that harms both patients and writers.

Until recently, the NHS Scotland held a copyright licence, enabling staff to photocopy important information and writers to earn income from their work as enshrined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Without this licence, staff are forbidden from copying any written information. If they do, they are both breaking the law and depriving writers of rightful income.

Now, we hear that the NHS is not renewing its licence.

You may think that all authors are wealthy. This is very far from the case. In 2005, the evidence taken by the Society of Authors showed that, for example, over two thirds of professional writers earn less than half the national average wage. The situation since then has dramatically worsened for almost all of us. My payment from the copyright collecting body (the Authors' Licensing and Collecting Agency) is the most significant payment I receive each year. I can't afford to lose that along with the loss of royalties incurred for so many other reasons.

It will obviously be bad for all of us - patients and authors - if the NHS Scotland does not change its decision. The laws of copyright seek to allow people to copy material legally and the content provider to be recompensed for his or her work and skill. These are both important principles and I am appalled to hear that they are being disregarded.

Please put pressure on the NHS Scotland to reinstate its copyright licence, allowing the legal availability of vital health information to doctors, and crucial income to flow to the creators of that information.

I would be happy to talk to you further about this if you wished.

Yours sincerely,

Nicola Morgan

Year End at Crabbit Towers

2011-12-31T16:17:00.002Z

I wasn't going to blog today, or even tomorrow, but I had a bit of happifying news to end the year with today, and it relates to you. I had my first royalty statement for Write to be Published and I was very pleasantly surprised at the figures. So, I'd like to thank you all for your support! It doesn't matter whether you bought the book: so many of you recommended it or chatted about it on Twitter, or mentioned it to a friend - all these things have helped and I'm enormously grateful. The book has continued to have fab reviews on Amazon - and thanks to anyone who has gone to the trouble of doing that.

It seems (to me!) like much longer than six months since it was published and I'm proud of how well it's done in a short time. My thanks to Emma Barnes, MD of Snowbooks, and to Corinne Gotch, the ace publicist for the book and a good friend, and to Becky Hearne, my fab assistant and also a good friend. I think we make a great team!

I have recently been taking stock of my career, looking at what's working and what's not, and decided to cut back on certain activities and develop others. I have several different writing projects at different stages, some of which might work and others might not. I will let you know about the ones that do! I've said no to a number of things and will continue to do so, particularly being selective about events. My consultancy, Pen2Publication, has been ticking along very comfortably, and I have managed to restrict the number of clients I take, so that it hasn't overwhelmed my diary. (If you want to book a slot or just discuss the possibilities, see the Pen2Publication website to see what I offer and drop me a line as soon as possible: I am always booked up far ahead.)

Crabbit Publishing has been the most exciting** part of 2011, workwise, and I'm very pleased with how Tweet Right and Mondays are Red have done, and am looking forward eagerly to publishing Write a Great Synopsis in three weeks. Hooray! But self-publishing is not all I want to do and I'm hoping to work productively with publishers, too, if they'll have me.

[** Edited to add: hang on a sec. Because this didn't set out to be a round-up of my year, I quite forgot that not only did 2011 also see publication of Write to be Published, but it saw Wasted on ten shortlists, winning one, being runner-up on another, and with three ceremonies still to go! How could I forget?!]

I wish you all the best possible success and luck in 2012. Keep working, keep learning, keep listening and sharing. And thank you all hugely for your friendship, wisdom and fun this year.

Go, us!

Mondays are Red blog tour

2011-12-27T13:19:00.000Z

I did a blog tour when Mondays are Red came out as an ebook. I thought I'd put the links all in one post here, for future reference. Some of the posts are of particular interest to writers.

Podcast interview for In The Wishing Chair - me talking to Rebecca Brown.

In which I meet an unappreciative reader - a funny story for Bookwitch.

What makes a debut? On Catherine Caffeinated. (Of special interest to writers.)

The theme of guilt in fiction. For Cat Clarke.

Debut nightmares - what it's like having your first book coming out. For The View From My Garret.

How language changes minds. For Absolute Vanilla. (Of special interest to writers.)

My Undercover Soundtrack - music and my writing. For Roz Morris. I had a surprising amount of fun with this and the comments were really interesting, too.

The weird world of synaesthesia - all about this fascinating condition. For Lucy Coats on Scribble City Central.

Why and how I can to produce the ebook of Mondays are Red. For Literature for Lads.

Know Your Inner Synaesthete - Mary Hoffman's blog. (Of special interest to writers. Of all ages.)

There were a couple of others, too, but there are no direct links.

Bookwitch also did a lovely review.

If you'd like to buy Mondays are Red - hooray and thank you! - here's the link to the Amazon UK page and here's one to a page with all the options.

I'm delighted with the response and I'm so glad I decided to republish. It has been huuuuge fun. And I love that it's now there whenever anyone wants to buy it. I don't have to fret about it becoming unavailable. Hooray!

Teenagers with Kindles? Ebook suggestions!

2011-12-24T16:30:00.004Z

Do you know a teenager with a new Kindle? Want to recommend some selected books? Well, I've found a list of books they might try. Each one is by a published author, many of us established and experienced at writing for teenagers.

Prices will vary because it's our publishers who set the prices. HOWEVER, Gillian Philip's FROST CHILD and my MONDAYS ARE RED are published by Gillian and me so we've set the price for those. (Mondays are Red was originally published by Hodder and was my debut novel but I now have the rights back. Gillian's Frost Child is an utterly superb brand new prequel to her fabulous Rebel Angels series.)

Do pass this to anyone you know whose teenager is the lucky owner of an e-reading device!

NB: descriptions written by the authors themselves, so I can't take responsibility.

MONDAYS ARE RED by Nicola Morgan. (Me!) Metaphysical thriller in an unusual style. Luke wakes from a coma to find his mind and body altered by synaesthesia. Infinite power, temptation and guilt inspire a race against death. WASTED by Nicola Morgan. Thought-provoking. Risk, danger, chance, luck, obsession, passion. An alcoholic mother, a beautiful singer, a beach party, the quantum world and an unluckily positioned knife.

SMALL BLUE THING by S. C. Ransom. Romantic fantasy set firmly in Thames-side London. Twilight meets Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Think true love; ghosts not vampires; memories not blood. PERFECTLY REFLECTED (Book 2). Small Blue Thng was the first book published by Nosy Crow.

SKIN DEEP by Malaika Rose Stanley. YA light romance. Destiny deals with every challenge life throws at her, including eyeball-to-eyeball confrontations with bully-girl Bella and secret winks from heart-throb, Joel. And then real disaster strikes...

DELLA SAYS: OMG! by Keris Stainton. Romantic comedy. Della's diary is stolen on the night she kisses her longtime crush. How can she enjoy her first proper romance when someone is sharing her deepest secrets? And JESSIE HEARTS NYC. Romantic comedy. British Jessie and New Yorker Finn might be perfect together, but in a city of eight million people, how will they find each other?

WEST OF THE MOON by Katherine Langrish. A fantasy set in the Viking era, full of wild mountains, dark seas, trolls and ghosts - and a touch of romance. FORSAKEN by Katherine Langrish. A children's fantasy story about a young mermaid. Mara's mother is missing, her little brother is sick, her father grieving. All seems hopeless till Mara sets off to bring her mother home.

ONDINE: THE SUMMER OF SHAMBLES by Ebony McKenna. Romantic comedy. Ondine's pet ferret is really a lad trapped by a witch's curse. She'll do anything to break the spell so he can be properly human again.

FLYING TO THE LIGHT by Elyse Salpeter. Spiritual Thriller. Michael and his deaf brother, Danny, are on the run because Danny knows what happens when you die, and now others want to know, too.

QUESTORS by Joan Lennon. A fast-moving fantasy tale of worlds unravelling, DNA tampering, ice dragons, sand storms and zombies on the Underground.

THE LONG WEEKEND by Savita Kalhan. Thriller. A nail-biting thriller about two boys who are abducted by a psychopath who means to harm them...

FIREBRAND by Gillian Philip. A fantasy adventure. Faery warrior Seth follows his brother into exile in the otherworld, where they are entangled in vicious witch-hunts. The Times: "...the best fantasy of 2010." FROST CHILD A short prequel to FIREBRAND. The story of Seth's father, and the strange, dangerous child Lilith, rescued from the evil Lammyr. Peril threatens in the shape of a lethal kelpie.

That's it! A really good and varied start for those keen teenage readers.

Happy Christmas :))

Happy Christmas to you

2011-12-19T07:01:00.002Z

Dear Lovely Blog Readers,
Good news: you can have a short rest from me! I am taking a break. I've got family coming for Christmas, much entertaining to do, a husband and daughters to love, friends to cook for, and a self that also needs a little bit of care and relaxation. I then have a daughter who is going to South Africa on January 5th, for a few months with a documentary film-making company, and I don't want to be blogging when I could be ~~nagging~~ supporting her. (I also need to watch her make a trailer for Write a Great Synopsis, to match the brilliance of her one for Mondays are Red.)

I will be back in action on Monday January 9th, and I'll be preparing to publish Write a Great Synopsis a week or so later. To whet your appetite, I'll tell you that I've had phenomenal response from the writers who've seen it. Carole Blake, literary agent par excellence, has called it "pure gold."

Meanwhile,

Dear Lovely Blog Readers

Wishing you all a very relaxing

and reviving holiday

and a 2012 which brings

at least as much success

as you deserve

(Those were pics from last winter - I'm hoping we will get nothing like that this year.)

Keep safe, nurture your muses and look after your loved ones.

Happy Christmas

With very best wishes,

Crabbit xx

Release your inner synaesthete

2011-12-16T07:00:00.015Z

Last week I was on the Mondays are Red blog tour - see the links on the right for any posts that interest you. One of the posts was particularly relevant to writers, especially fiction writers and poets. It's the one I did for Mary Hoffman on releasing your inner synaesthete.

Mondays are Red is said to be "about" synaesthesia. It's actually "about" the power of language, more than anything. Please do go and read that post and come back to comment. (It would be lovely if you left a comment on Mary's blog, too, just so she knows you were there.)

In 2012 I'm planning a major creative writing competition based on synaesthetic writing. There will be one section for school pupils and one for adults.So, watch this space! And if you'd like to read Mondays are Red or recommend it to a teenage reader/writer of your acquaintance, the details are here.

Meanwhile, do go and read the post on Mary's blog and either leave a comment there or here. Or both. And have fun exercising your inner synaesthete in time for the writing competition. :)

Obstacles to being published

2011-12-14T07:26:00.017Z

Characteristically sensible post here from Rachelle Gardner. There's nothing I haven't said myself, but it's all succinctly phrased and, especially if you are new to the approaching-publishers-and-agents lark, useful.

There are two points that I thought I'd elaborate on:

Pitching several books in different genres. Why not? Because although you can have a wide writing career later, you need to be launched with one book and create the expectation for your readers that if they liked your first book they will like your second. It is simply easier (at first) to sell you as a writer of a particular sort of book than a writer whose next book could be entirely different and for entirely different readers. Therefore the agent (and, even more, publisher) wants to know the one book which is best to launch you with. Don't muddy the waters; don't seem too undecided.

Not being able to name a genre for your book. (Even if that "genre" is literary fiction.) It's the selling thing again, damn it. It is, quite simply, easier to sell a book which fits a genre properly. Put it another way, you need to be able to know which readers are most likely to like your book. Also, readers like to know what they are getting, odd people that they aren't. Humans like patterns, familiarity, expectations. Help them out; humour them. You make life very much easier for yourself if you work with the world as it is, not as you wish it was. Of course, the latter approach is very commendable, but only in the same way that it was highly commendable of the cavalry at Balaclava to charge straight towards the cannons.

As Rachelle says, none of these things mean you can't get an agent or publisher. But they are obstacles. Either remove them or jump higher.

Crabbit's Tips for Writers - 4: Publishing Yourself

2011-12-12T07:04:00.005Z

Here is the fourth in my series of Crabbit's Tips for Writers. See the sidebar for links to the others. You can either read it in the post below or you can go here and download the complete document and print it out. Enjoy!

If you wish to quote from these pages, please see the copyright notice at the end.

My position I have had many (around 90) books published by mainstream publishers of various sizes and I am also self-publishing. I do my own publishing through my Crabbit Publishing brand, through which I have published Tweet Right and republished my original debut novel from 2002, Mondays are Red. My next Crabbit Publishing title is Write a Great Synopsis. Why do I do both? Because I can and because I know that some things are best done by publishers and some are not. Every writer and every book is different. I think some writers are self-publishing very well and wisely, and others are not. Informed choice is key. Oh, and the ability to write…

Crabbit’s Tips for Publishing Yourself
1. Do not consider publishing something which is not the best it can be. Publication is not a rehearsal. Most published writers have unpublished work in their drawers and would not dream of publishing it. Be that writer.

2. Once you’ve decided to self-publish a book, get it properly edited. This means three stages: editing (the big picture: characters, pacing, structure, voice); copy-editing (inconsistencies, clunky sentences, continuity errors, wrong words, layout); and proof-reading (typos, punctuation errors, more layout errors, inconsistent single/double/straight/curly quotes, widows and orphans, anything tiny.) A copy-editor can usually proofread, and vice-versa, so this could be combined. But you need at least two other pairs of eyes than your own. Expert ones, too.

3. Do not be in a hurry. Plan ahead and be patient.

4. Get a proper cover design from someone who understands KDP (Amazon) and other technical requirements. Remember that your cover will mostly be seen in thumbnail size – do not pack it with info because it won’t be seen.

5. Create a brilliant “product description” – the equivalent of the back-cover copy.

6. Do not believe anyone who says you can just upload a word doc. Formatting is not as simple as people make out. Yes, it’s eminently possible to learn (as I did) how to do decent formatting of a simple nature. But tiny errors which you might easily miss (because they are invisible unless you see the html) can become huge uglies when converted to the format for a particular device. My advice is: get it done properly by paying someone or at least learn how to do it properly yourself.

7. Keep up-to-date with the possibilities and services available. It’s improving all the time, but there’s a lot of talk and hype which is not always true. My personal advice is to buy in individual skills rather than paying for a self-publishing package.

8. There are two books I highly recommend: Alison Baverstock’s The Naked Author and Catherine Ryan Howard’s Self-Printed. You do need them both as they contain different information and approaches. You will also find my own Write to be Published useful – it will help you understand publishing (which is what you are doing) and help you make your book as good as possible.

9. If you’re angry with the publishing industry for rejecting your book, (if they did), don’t show it. It’s ugly. It’s pointless. And it does you no good at all. Grow up and just publish your book well. Your readers want your book, not your vitriol.

10. Obviously, be prepared to spend a lot of time marketing. One thing you’ll learn when you self-publish is that selling books is not easy. Really not easy. There are millions of books out there and you’re competing against them.

11. But don’t put people off with your self-promotion. There are some writers whose books I will never read because they jump up and down shouting about themselves all the time. I’ve had to block one from my Twitterfeed for her refusal to talk about anything more interesting than her book.

12. If you want to sell lots of books, you will have to join the online forums where people are talking about your genre. The forums are time-consuming, and can be frustrating or boring, and some of the people are there only to sell themselves. You won’t find me there often, and consequently I don’t sell vast numbers of books. However, I’m happy with the ones I sell. It’s a choice I/you have to make. I choose to do other things.

13. Don’t spend so much time marketing that you forget to write your next book.

14. The more books you produce (published or self-published) the more you’ll sell.

15. Beware of RSI from checking your KDP sales too often…

16. Manage your expectations. Most people are not selling thousands and thousands of books – that goes for self-publishers and publishers. Most are selling very modestly indeed and many are selling very few. Or none.

17. Pricing is crucial. My view is that an ebook should be significantly cheaper than its print version but I’m against over-cheapening except for temporary promotions. But it’s up to you. Suck it and see – and change it when you want. But I can tell you that if you price too high, no one will buy. Especially for a newbie writer.

18. We could now be in the golden age for self-publishers, because it’s so easy to do. But selling is, as I say, not easy, and it’s likely to get harder as more people do it, especially more previously published, successful authors. In the end, quality will win, as readers will find ways of discerning the good stuff. Make sure yours is good stuff.

19. Quality is not a guarantee of success. In publishing as well as self-publishing, great writing can fail to sell and crap can sell in shedloads. It’s life. Deal with it.

20. Understand publishing before you self-publish. You can’t do it better than publishers if you don’t even understand publishing.

21. Be yourself. There are many different ways of writing and many different ways of behaving as an author. Do and be what feels right to you.

22. But be nice. It's a very under-rated quality. It's got nothing to do with writing but everything to do with engaging with people. And that is what writers do, in their writing and in their life.

GOOD LUCK AND WRITE WELL!

The CRABBIT’S TIPS series consists of:
1. Writing Fiction
2. Getting Published
3. Submitting to Agents and Publishers
4. Publishing Yourself
5. Ingredients of Poor Writing
6. Synopses
7. Non-fiction Proposals
8. Author events
9. Teenage Writing
10. Children’s Writing
And then some more! For details, see http://www.helpineedapublisher.blogspot.com

Copyright and permissions
The copyright to the material in this document is fully owned by me. I give you the following permission: you are welcome to quote these tips freely in your own blog or website, as long as you receive no income from it and as long as you credit me by name and include my blog URL or author website. (Addresses below.) If you wish to quote me in a book or paid article, please ask me for permission. Thank you!

Unlimited limited single POV

2011-12-08T07:10:00.005Z

One of the first things we learn about point of view (POV) is that if you're supposed to be telling the story (or that section of the story) from a certain character's viewpoint, you can only say what that character could know or think.

For example, if we're in Fred's head, we can't have Fred tell us something that Joe's thinking, only what Fred thinks Joe's thinking.

So, writing from a single POV is limiting, isn't it? Even writing one section/chapter from a single POV must be limiting at least for that section/chapter.

Not so. Let me introduce you to the Unlimited Limited POV. (Don't Google it - I made it up.)

The point of ULP is, crucially, that the reader can know more than the character who is telling the story. This is because the reader knows that in fact the author is telling the story, manipulating the character to observe only what the writer needs him to observe. So, the character can observe something but not know the significance, but the reader, knowing the rules of story-telling, knows that the writer has put the observation there for a reason.

It's like Chekhov's Gun. (The idea that if a gun appears in Act One, it must be used by Act Three.) I also call it the stage telephone. You NEVER see a telephone on a film or stage set if it's not going to ring.

Recently I came a across a fabulous example of Unlimited Limited POV. You only need this one example to understand the whole concept. It's in The Help by Kathryn Stockett - a wonderful, wonderful book, by the way.

The book is written in the first person, but alternates throughout the book between several first-person narrations. So, how does the author show us more than the character can see? Well, my example comes from the POV of Skeeter. Skeeter's mother becomes ill during the book and the clever thing is how you know this before Skeeter does. She will mention things such as seeing her mother walk into the distance, looking smaller than usual; or she'll mention her not eating. She won't say she's worried about her mother being ill - she isn't, at first. But the reader is. The reader knows that the author wouldn't have mentioned such things if there wasn't a reason. It's like when, in a book or a film, if a woman feels nauseous in the morning, we know she's pregnant before she does.

So, when you're telling the story through a single POV, don't feel limited by it. Tell your readers more than the character knows, by selecting the things your character notices and subtly regulating how she expresses them.

I love fiction, love it!

What makes a debut a debut?

2011-12-05T07:00:00.006Z

Well, duh, Crabbit fool. Surely a debut is just a first book, different from your second only by virtue of being first. No, not necessarily so. And if you think like that, you may never write one. Or rather, it may never be published, which makes it not a debut.

I recently wrote a blog post for Catherine Ryan Howard about debuts - on the subject of Mondays are Red having been my debut, although also not my debut. Do head over and read it and then come back and ask me a question or say what you think.

I think it may help you in your struggle with that awful agent response, "I like it but I don't love it enough." This phrase doesn't necessarily mean that your writing isn't good enough or that there's anything you can do to that novel to make it lovable-enough. It may "just" not feel like an idea or execution which is going to set the sales and marketing team alight sufficiently for them to take it.

Which, frankly, is very gah-inducing.

Publishing Deal - Forget the Clichés

2011-12-02T07:10:00.002Z

I promised to come back and tell you the rest of the end-story from Write to be Published. For the first part, go here. For today, you'll need tissues.

Again, this is reproduced with kind permission of Snowbooks.

PUBLISHING DEAL – FORGET THE CLICHÉS
So, what is it like, that moment when you realise you are really going to be published? It’s different for everyone, but let me tell you how it was for me. You think I was starry-eyed with excitement? Skipping around drinking sparkly stuff?

Sadly, no. The news came in stages, during several phone-calls over a few days, mostly as I stood in the car-park of Ninewells Hospital, Dundee, while my mother-in-law, Alison, was dying. Apart from my husband, Alison was the person who supported me most vigorously. She had railed against every rejection, bemoaned the blindness of publishers, and constantly praised my resilience. She was genuinely and enormously interested and she wanted to see a novel with my name on the cover almost as much as I did. If she’d lived, my publishers would never have needed a publicity department; the sales reps would have had a ready-made, unpaid sales force in Scotland; every acquaintance of hers – and there were very many – would have been persuaded to buy copies.

Alison died about a day after we finally heard that Mondays are Red was sold. Although she was unconscious all that time, I like to think she heard, too. A day or so before, my father-in-law and I were talking at her bedside; she had shown no signs of awareness for a while, and I said something to him along the lines of, “You know, I think this book is really going to be published.” And she said, with her eyes still shut but with a definite smile, “About time, too.” It is the last thing I remember her saying.

So, despite ending my years of grim failure, news of publication for me was not marked by happiness. I was standing in a hospital car-park, with my new agent talking about possible film deals and definite publication dates and that it had been taken as a “highlight title”, and how everyone had huge hopes for it, and I had to go in from the August sunshine and sit in a neurosurgical ward, watching Alison lose her life.

That is why the dedication in that first novel reads, “In memory of Alison, whose belief in me was everlasting.”

I hope you all have an Alison to keep you going. She’d never read any of my attempted novels, because I didn’t show them to anyone, but she believed in me anyway, because I believed in myself. In her opinion, anyone who kept trying as hard as I did deserved to succeed. She was wrong, of course: trying hard and long is not enough. We have to be good enough as writers and write the right book. But she couldn’t judge me on whether I was good enough, only on whether I worked hard enough. For her continued belief in that I am so grateful. I wish she’d been around to see the end of the story.

There’s something else she’d have done if she were alive now: remind me to acknowledge what I have done. We need to do that. You will all have had successes and improvements, made new contacts and potential readers, had feedback that has inspired or re-directed you, written something better than the last piece, formed new ideas, grown as writers and people. So, before you return to your writing, do remind yourself how far you have come, how much better you would like to be and that your improvement and success are in your hands more than anyone else’s.

I wish you all the success you deserve.

Reproduced from Write to be Published, by kind permission of Snowbooks Ltd.

Mondays are Red is available as a brand-new ebook, for around £2.25, with new material. Please, please buy it. Readers, I need you.

Plug a book this Christmas

2011-12-01T06:53:00.000Z

Here's your chance to recommend books to buy and give this Christmas.

I recently had to give my "Books of 2011" recommendations for the Herald newspaper. Here's what I said:

Hisham Matar’s Anatomy of a Disappearance would be compelling and moving even if it weren’t horribly autobiographical. This fiction, of a boy whose dissident father is abducted and never found, is gently written and carefully controlled, manipulating the unreliability of a child’s eyes and showing how cruelly yet kindlily they are deceived.

The child narrator in Sarah Winman’s When God Was a Rabbit is less deceived and the book manages to be light-sparky in tone yet devastating in punch. I laughed aloud at the scene where Elly and her damaged friend, Jenny Penny, sing Bohemian Rhapsody to drown a conversation they don’t wish to hear, and cried immediately afterwards at the shocking story behind her father’s breakdown. Piercing, exceptional. Please read it.

And a book for children – but please enjoy it yourself before treating the young ones in your life: One Boy and His Dog by Eva Ibbotson, who died last year aged 85. Delightful, brilliant, escapist and real – although with a boy like no boy you ever met and the dog like no dog you’ve ever known. And as for the parents… Books like this create the avid readers we need.

If I could have recommended books published earlier than 2011, I'd have included John Harding's Florence and Giles. Here's the link to my review of that. I have also twice tried to review it on Amazon but Amazon doesn't like me and is refusing to accept it.I don't blame Amazon for not liking me, but still.

So, what do you recommend? And why?

Meanwhile, you might consider buying Mondays are Red, the ebook. It's for teenagers but anyone might enjoy it. If nothing else, it's different. If you haven't seen my daughter's fab video trailer, it's here.

Small is not always beautiful

2011-11-30T07:26:00.003Z

Very useful post here from Writer Beware about the pros and cons of being published by a small publisher.

Do read the whole post, as it contains wonderful advice, but can I draw your attention especially to these points?

"Reputable publishers do not advertise for authors on Craigslist or in writers’ forums, or buy ads online or in print, or mass-mail authors out of the blue with invitations to submit."
"...reputable publisher’s website will be book-focused - it will publicize its authors, and try to attract readers. A questionable publisher’s website will be service-focused - it will promote itself, and try to attract writers."
"Be wary of any small press whose website contains large amounts of verbiage about how closed-minded the traditional publishing industry is, or tells scary stories ... It may be an author mill trolling for clients, or an amateur endeavor staffed by frustrated authors."

Those points are warnings about disreputable small presses but many other small presses, as the article says, are hugely well-meaning but under-staffed or resourced - though working terrifically hard to overcome that. Be prepared to do much more publicity work yourself if you're with a small press. On the other hand, this means greater control for you. It's tiring but satisfying. And nowadays, believe me, almost all writers have to do masses of publicity anyway.

Anyway, food for thought. The article expresses it all better than I could so please read it!

Urgent: these children WANT books

2011-11-29T10:17:00.000Z

Last week, I blogged about the wonderful Children's Book Tree at Blackwells in Edinburgh. I've now heard that so many children in so many situations of need have requested books that there's a serious danger that they won't all get one. Blackwells needs 15 people a day to buy a book for a child between now and mid-December.

Please, help us get books to these children!

You don't need to live in Edinburgh. Just pick up the phone and dial 0131 622 8225, tell the staff you'd like to buy a book for the Children's Book Tree, and they will do the rest. They will tell you what choices there are and either select a book for you or allocate the book of your choice to a child.

Thank you! It would be awful of some children had asked for books and didn't get them.

BTW, if you buy a book by an Edinburgh author, chances are it could be signed, too. Elizabeth Laird is going there today - I know this because I'm having lunch with her and we are both going to the shop afterwards.

#MondaysareRed competition results

2011-11-29T09:44:00.000Z

Lots of you joined in the MondaysareRed launch competition with gusto. Thank you! A great selection of the entries is below, taken from Twitter and the blog:

Joanna Cannon had some amazing entries:

Some Mondays are the beige corduroy of procrastination.

Sundays are knitted in shades of childhood and the rose-tinted pull of yesterdays.

Saturdays are the fresh white of laundered sheets, beating on a clothes line.

Fridays are the sharp green of Summer bracken on a walk of long ago.

Thursdays are heavy, velveted purple. They hush and whisper and curtain my weekend just out of sight.

Wednesdays are sandstone yellow. A dry, dusty footpath, bridging a river of days.

Tuesdays are deep slated grey. Calm and unflustered and darkened with rain .

Authorofbree: Mondays are the sticky, filthy feel of wet sand on your fingertips

Catdownunder: Tuesday is the green top of a carrot

CoffeewithKate:

Wednesday is white heat. The herald of the first contraction and the push toward a dazzling new day.

Fridays are the grey in the heart of a lonely schoolchild, bleeding darker as she creeps her way home.

MikeCail: Saturdays can be either glorious red and white or ominous purple and black, depending on what Final Score says at 4:45pm. (!)

Lexxclarke:

Black Saturday, bottomless pit of laundry, ironing and half-finished DIY projects.

Soft caramel brown Wednesday blends together the top and the tail.

AKJames61:

Fridays are magenta. Adrenalin fuelled, speeding, erupting into passionate fires. A promise for Saturday.

Sundays are black. A drawing down of blinds on freedom. A new working week waits, cloaked in shadows.

Almostmoriarty: Sundays – a melancholy grey, lifted slowly to dirty white with church bells, dog in leaves and sleepy fires.

Mcrogerson: Sundays are chestnut brown, scented with woodsmoke, old papers and warm wool.

Angrychem: Wednesdays are tinged green with uncertainty, poised between Tuesdays, blue, and Thursdays, shading triumphantly into orange.

Laura_E_James: Sunday swings to the song of the golden sax; a round sound for a wholesome day.

Jo: Sundays are foggy - in that you-know-there-is-something-out-there-but-can't-quite-find-it sort of way.

Katalin:

Out of the blue comes Monday: a grumpy teenager smelling like coffee.

Thursdays are thirsty. Sandy, 30, goes begging for guineas for Guinness.

Dirtywhitecandy: Mondays are red. So are all the other days. Thank god for hair dye. (!)

Helen: Sunday starts off an egg-yolk yellow. By Sunday evening it has turned to blackest black as the cloud of Monday morning approaches.

Jenni: Saturdays are the emerald jealousy of party invites mixed the white of an empty computer screen.

Melinda: Saturday mornings: the caramel of cinnamon-sprinkled latte lie-ins

Jason: Monday morning dawned black as it always did with the memory of the homework I hadn't done, but today it was haloed in bright yellow; a yellow which whispered, 'Mandy.'

A special mention for poor Clare Wartnaby, who had an interview the next day and therefore could only feel, “Tuesdays are scary.” I hope it went well!

Anyway, I said the winners of the Crabbit bags would be picked at random, not based on any other kind of judgement, and so the winners are…drum roll…

AKJames61

Mcrogerson

Dirtywhitecandy

Well done! Email your addresses to n@nicolamorgan.co.uk and I’ll get your bags to you as soon as possible.

Thank you to everyone for joining in and revealing your talent for synaesthetic writing.

I do hope you bought a copy of Mondays are Red or at least have told someone about it? I can’t tell you how much I need you! A lot is riding on this and if it doesn’t work decently I won’t do it with the rest of my novels. Pretty pleeeese with bells on, if you think I’m worth it. Amazon UK link is here and US is here. (I’m currently trying to find out why the US page doesn’t have the correct product description and reviews - it merely has a review from a librarian who wrongly thought teenagers wouldn't understand the book. I found that review rather patronising nine years ago and that feeling hasn't waned!)

Emotional blackmail :))) (+ competition)

2011-11-28T06:55:00.007Z

Have you ever known me to use emotional blackmail? Well, you're about to experience it! (But there's also a competition to reward you.)

If you feel that I've ever helped you in any way or deserve a little something, now's your chance to reward me! (I am indeed cringing. I have no shame - I've learnt that shame is expensive.) See, Mondays are Red is republished today as an ebook and I'd enormously love it and you if you were to buy a copy (£2.17ish on Amazon - including sodding ebook VAT - and similarly priced on Lulu. Amazon US link here.)

I'm starting a fun blog tour today, too, visiting a number of blogs over the next two weeks and talking about something different on each one: synaesthesia, problems with debuts, guilt, the power of language, a whole load of different things. Today's appearance is a podcast for Rebecca Brown's In The Wishing Chair.

For your pleasure, here's a link to the amazing trailer my daughter made for me! I think it's fabulous.

And the competition?
Many people associate words (for example, days of the week) with colours - or other sensory words. That's why Mondays are Red is called Mondays are Red. Your task is to take a day of the week and describe it using synaesthetic language. You don't have to have synaesthesia to do this - use the power of your language, your imagination. Let yourself go. I'll pick THREE winners - randomly chosen from the comments below and from Twitter where we'll be using the #MondaysAreRed hashtag. Entries on Twitter need to fit one tweet including the hashtag, so comments here need to try to keep to that kind of length, but don't fret about it. Deadline midnight tonight.

Here's an example of what I mean. It comes from Mondays are Red:

"Under the dead blue deep of Thursday, only lunar creatures can survive."
Here's another:
"Friday. Chocolate-sticky roasting Friday. Shit-brown slimy throat-clogging mud-drowning Friday." Obviously these are in the context of the story at the time, but you get the picture. Anything goes, as long as it carries meaning and coherence for you.

Remember: to enter, either comment below or post your entry on Twitter using the #MondaysAreRed hashtag.

Go for it! Remember, I'm drawing the winners at random, not after any judging process. And the more times you enter, the more chances you get. Please join us on Twitter if possible.

And the prizes? A Crabbit Bag and a batch of postcards for each winner!

Please, please, please buy Mondays are Red and/or tell any teenagers and school librarians or English teachers of your acquaintance about it. It's a book that schools love, because it gets the imaginative juices flowing in a weird and startling way. Amazon link is here. (You don't need a Kindle or anything special - just a computer or anything you can read on.)

I need your help, people. Pretty please with bells on. I would say that I will love you for ever but I already do love you for ever anyway so that would be an empty ~~threat~~ promise. :))))

LOOK! A fab trailer for Mondays are Red!

2011-11-25T10:09:00.001Z

I know I've already given you a post today (see below this post) but I'm far too excited not to tell you this. And I will also not be able to resist jumping up and down on Twitter a bit over the weekend, so I need to warn you about that.

What? THIS. Do I have a clever daughter or what?

Mondays are Red launches on Monday - did I say that already? - but it's always possible that eagle-eyed people might find it earlier... *cough*

My own journey - not a pretty story. Part 1

2011-11-25T07:06:00.006Z

Many people who read Write to be Published comment on the story at the end, when I tell the details of my difficult journey to publication. People often say I'm "brave" to have told it. I don't think so. I have nothing to hide. People see me now - strong, healthy, confident, full of ridiculous energy - and find it hard to believe that I was none of those things in my younger adulthood.

For those of you who haven't heard the story, I tell it now. It's neither pretty nor short. Get coffee. It also explains the whole answer to the question: Why do you spend so much time helping writers who are trying to be published?

Reproduced from Write to be Published with kind permission of Snowbooks.

HOW WAS IT FOR ME?
This book is a case of “Do as I say and not as I used to do.” I failed, as you know, for many years. Twenty-one years of failure to have a novel published. Towards the end of that time, I did have some small things published, home learning books mostly – they did very well in terms of sales, and many are still in print, but it was not what I wanted. I wanted, desperately, to be published as a novelist. Failure made me ill and consumed me with jealousy. It’s not a pretty story. It’s also a personal story, because every story of a writer struggling and failing is personal. Everything is wrapped up in it: health, family, psyche, location, support, income, and more. So, here’s my story.

Aged twenty, wondering what on earth a Cambridge degree in Classics and Philosophy was for, I decided that I wanted to be A Novelist. I knew I couldn’t earn a living immediately – hollow laugh – so I needed a job. I went to London, where streets are paved with wondrousness, and got a job cooking for an advertising agency, and dinner parties for Belgravia ladies who wanted strawberries only in December and smoked salmon if it was twice as expensive as the stuff their neighbours had.

And I wrote. I started a novel and also wrote stories aimed at women’s magazines, none of which got published, because they were completely wrong for their market. I had something published in Reader’s Digest and was paid £150 for about 50 words, an enormous payment in the early 1980s. My photo was on page one. Fame and fortune, I thought. I was almost right about fame: on a bus, I saw a man reading it, looking back and forth between the picture and me. I grinned. He asked me to sign it. My first signing!

Meanwhile, I was writing The Novel, on a cheap type-writer, while working as an English teacher. Somehow, in holidays and evenings, the novel grew and was finished. I sent it off. And received it back. Often. Each time I “improved” it. Trouble is, sometimes they said it was too long, and sometimes too short, so I was confused. One praised the original plot and another criticised its traditional nature. There was no internet and little advice available. I knew no one in the business, no one who was published, no one who was even trying.

Every time it came back, I fell apart. To most people, I seemed fine. But inside I was devastated that I couldn’t find the key to publication. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I felt useless.

After three years as an English teacher, I decided to give myself a year of writing full-time, really going for it, because being a teacher was incredibly exhausting and time-consuming and I couldn’t write enough. I also wasn’t well. I had glandular fever, toxoplasmosis and a couple of knee operations. So, supported by my lovely husband, I gave in my notice for the end of that third year. A month before term ended, I discovered I was pregnant. So, I didn’t get my year of full-time writing: I got a lovely daughter. But I was still sending off that bloody novel, still getting it thrown back. I’d revised it endlessly and didn’t know what to do. So I did the right thing and started another one.

We moved to Edinburgh and soon had our second daughter. I was still writing. But my health wasn’t good and I now believe that this was down to the gnawing pain of failure. I wanted publication so much and I was trying so hard. I felt I was good enough, so why wasn’t it happening? It wasn’t enough to be a mother, wife, cook and damn good house-person; I wanted more and I wanted it so much that it was making me ill. Postnatal depression was diagnosed, followed by an under-active thyroid, followed by Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or M.E. The thyroid was true, and I still take thyroxine, but the rest wasn’t: it was Bruised Soul Syndrome. I was damaged where it matters. I was happy as a mother and wife, but I had a chasm where “myself” should be. The odd thing was that to everyone else I was Mrs Efficiency, Mrs High-Achiever, Mrs Get-Christmas-Sorted-in-October. Failure was inside.

Then, a dull government organisation offered me work, writing documents. I sailed out of that interview feeling fantastic. Energy flowed through me. I still remember that. God, those documents were boring but they gave me my life back. But I still wasn’t really someone who could call herself a writer, not in public.

The school where I’d taught had lots of kids with dyslexia, and I’d become fascinated. So I did a diploma in teaching pupils with Specific Learning Difficulties. That sparked an interest in the brain – a huge strand of my writing and speaking now – and a chance to be an expert in dyslexia and then literacy in general. I won’t bore you here with the literacy work I was doing, as it’s only relevant to the extent that it led to my first book contracts. To cut the story short, I self-published (badly) some home-learning books, sold the first print run of a thousand, and sent a set to the educational wing of Egmont. By chance, they were about to commission a major home-learning series, called I Can Learn. They asked me to write the whole series, for a glorious fee and my first experience of a nightmare deadline: twelve books in three weeks. Although it was fee-based rather than royalty-based, there have been reprint payments and internet spin-offs so I have been treated well. Also, when I do talks to teenagers now, many of them recognise those books from their childhood.

Anyway, now I could call myself an author. I was published. I was earning. I was valued. My books were in shops. I was reasonably well.

But I wasn’t A Novelist. My second novel was still coming back. I’d had near-misses: a fabulous letter from Collins; a story being short-listed for the Ian St James Awards; several times when the novel got as far as acquisitions meetings. But nearly being published is still failing. I started a third novel. I was full of hope. Sent the first part to an agent, got a lovely reply asking for the rest. (More rules broken: don’t send a novel out before it’s finished, but you know that now.) Went back to it, but didn’t finish it because by chance I read a new children’s novel. I’d been writing for adults and had never thought of writing for kids. Why would I? I wanted to break boundaries with language, not be held back by simplicity. Oh, how wrong that analysis was!

The book I read was Skellig, by David Almond, a beautiful writer with an extraordinary voice. He expresses deep ideas in language which is only simple because it is perfect, not because it’s trying to avoid complexity. He is unselfconscious and his words are crystalline and generous where mine were convoluted and self-indulgent. This was what I wanted to do. I’d been so tangled in prose that I’d forgotten about story. And now I could do both. From reading that one book, I learnt everything that I’d been missing in my failed quest for publication: that writing is about the reader more than the writer.

So I began to write Mondays Are Red. When I’d written about a third of it I became impatient and broke that rule again: I sent it to an agent and two publishers before it was finished. The agent and one publisher wanted to see the rest. I explained to the agent that I hadn’t finished but would do so now, and to the publisher that I had interest from an agent and would be in touch soon. I then wrote furiously and sent it off to the agent. The agent said that she loved it but that she was now ill and had decided she couldn’t take anyone on. (Pause for a scream.) I told the publisher this and sent them the rest of the book. Meanwhile, the second publisher, Hodder, rejected it. (Hold that thought.)

The first editor was very excited but wanted changes. She also suggested that I got an agent. I contacted two agents that day, one by letter because she had no email address and one by email. I included in my covering letters some glowing quotes from the editor. The agent I’d contacted by post phoned the next day and said she wanted to take me on. Just like that. When I opened my emails, I found a reply from the agent I’d emailed, apologising for not contacting me immediately. She was interested. Help! I contacted the first agent, explained and said I needed to know if she definitely wanted to sign me. Yes, she said. So, remarkably, I turned an agent down.

My new agent and I worked on Mondays are Red, and got it to the state we wanted it; but the editor who’d been interested wanted one change too many and my agent advised that we go elsewhere. She didn’t believe further changes were necessary.

Which publisher took Mondays are Red? Hodder, who had rejected it when I’d sent it on my own. Useful things, agents.

Mondays are Red was published in 2002 and I have been very lucky ever since, though it has not always been easy and I’ve had my knockbacks. Authors tend to hide those bad times and you should realise that beneath every apparently successful author’s confident exterior are bruises and scars. But do I wish I hadn’t had the years of failure, of not knowing whether I’d ever be published? No. They stop me taking anything for granted or thinking too highly of myself. They are crucial to who I am now; they are also why I understand what gets published and why some perfectly wonderful writing does not.

Now, I am wholly well. I put that down to having repaired my bruised soul. In the dark days, a clever medical person told me we need heartsong in our lives and that the key to health was finding my heartsong. When he said that, I knew what he meant and where I needed to find it. That’s why I spend time blogging for talented, hard-working, non-delusional writers and why I’m writing this book: because if you have that same need for heartsong, I understand.

Next week, I'll tell you the story of how I learnt about my first publishing deal and why my first novel is dedicated to "Alison". You'll need tissues.

If you'd like to buy the brand new ebook version of that novel, Mondays are Red, please do! It's published on Monday and you can be very sure I'll bring you details then. THANK YOU!

Edited to add: LOOK! A fab video trailer. *dances*

The Children's Book Tree needs us

2011-11-24T07:27:00.020Z

Last year I supported a lovely idea from Blackwell's in Edinburgh and apparently the help of all of you blog-readers made a big, big difference. Let's see if we can do even better this year!

What happens is this: on the lovely tree in the shop, staff hang book requests from children who are either vulnerable or have some reason for extra need. Then customers either come into the shop OR PHONE 0131 622 8225 and buy one of the gifts, which then gets wrapped up and given to the child in time for Christmas. This year, the fourth year of the scheme, there are over 300 requests on the tree so we need YOUR help to grant them all and ensure that vulnerable children who have actually asked for a book have their wish come true.

Oh, and Julie Gamble is dressing up as an ELF today! (I hope I didn't make that bit up.)

Requests range from the very specific "I'd love a copy of Nicola Morgan's Fleshmarket", through the slightly less specific "I'd love ANY book by Gillian Philip", to the much more general "I'm a 13-year-old boy and I'd like any exciting book."

Blackwell's are working with Barnardo's, Edinburgh Women's Aid, Edinburgh Young Carers and many of the city's support and foster care units. These groups do terrific work and I absolutely love the idea that one of the things they do is encourage reading amongst the children.

So, DO please either pop in the the shop on South Bridge, Edinburgh, or phone 0131 622 8225 and ask for a selection of requests for you to choose between. Staff will then do everything for you! It's so damn easy.

TEL: 0131 622 8225

Beware of praise

2011-11-23T06:59:00.001Z

Praise is very like chocolate:

It tastes great at the time.
Too much of it is (regrettably) bad for you.
It (regrettably) needs to be balanced with the sensible stuff.
Once tasted, you want more and more of it.
People give it to each other to show love, to bribe them, to make friends, and because giving and receiving are linked.
You should sometimes reject it.
It has been scientifically proven to be beneficial to mood.

(Pause to go and eat some, just so's I can remember. I call it method-writing.)

Anyway.

So, we all need it. Praise, I mean. But actually, it's not like chocolate because chocolate is Truth Incarnate (except mint flavoured white chocolate, which is pure evil and doesn't deserve to be called chocolate) but some praise is False and Must Be Rejected Forthwith.

Praise from someone who doesn't know what the hell they're talking about is worse than mint flavoured white chocolate. Or those pale ones from Marks & Spencer that have absolutely no chocolate in them at all and make me gag. Oh and M&Ms - I nearly walked out of the cinema when my husband was eating M&Ms. All that vacant crunching and crappy plastic smell and not a hint of genuine cocoa. Am I showing myself up as a chocolate snob? Well, in that case I'm a praise snob too.

You should become a praise snob. If you really want to hone your writing and get published, learn to do two things with praise:

Store it in the cosy bit of your brain to boost you when you have no chocolate.
Analyse it, judge it, assess it, and be HONEST about it (That makes more than two things but I am being generous.) And sometimes, reject it.

Here's my fool-proof guide to assessing Praise That Is Relevant To Getting Published. (Of course, praise about your hair-style, dress sense, new lipstick colour or new car is entirely outwith the remit of this blog, and I would have to charge a fee for such extension of my adjudicatory powers.)

Essentially, all writing-related praise should be thoroughly discarded (after thanking the kind donor and not revealing that you've been told to ignore them by a crabbit old bat from Scotland) if it emanates from the mouths or keyboards of the following. As individuals these are often perfectly lovely people, but they're not qualified to praise your writing in any kind of practical sense, though they may be accidentally correct:

Your parents, grandparents, children - other relatives may very occasionally give acceptable advice.
Other unpublished writers, unless they have publishing credentials, in which case listen to them (unless they fall into the blood-relly category).
Anyone else without some specific reason to know that about which he speaks.
Your friend.
Your dog.

What about members of your writing group? Tricky. Be very careful how you regard their praise, well-intentioned though it is. Thing is, you're psychologically, morally and ethically connected, (and you may be actually in their house and drinking their wine and eating their Moroccan chicken). Occasionally your writing group may be right, but you should listen more carefully to their criticism. Treat their praise like the chocolate that it is. Yummy but to be treated with caution.

Look, I KNOW praise is important - I need it too. I'm not saying ignore all praise: I'm saying assess it. I'm saying be honest with yourself. Some praise is fab but some is simply air. Poisonous air at that.

Ask yourself two questions:

Does this person genuinely know what he/she is talking about?
Is this person giving the praise entirely out of the blue and not because you happen to have put him/her on the spot by asking for an "honest opinion"?

I see people being held back from publishing potential by clutching at empty praise and ignoring the much rarer really constructive criticism, which could actually improve their writing and pull them towards genuine success. Of course I love it when people say nice things to me but I grow much more from the negative points - the girl who asked me why I wrote such long chapters, the comments from readers who didn't like a certain ending.

There are people I know who are renowned for being honest in their criticism and those are the ones I work hardest to please because I know they won't say it's good if it's not.

The worst places are some online communities and forums. You see people going on-line and off-loading about how an agent or editor has rejected them or said something negative and everyone piles in with poor you, and don't worry WE know you're fab, dahling, when they haven't even read the thing that's been rejected. And of course it's lovely and kind and generous but in terms of becoming published it's so detrimental because it fails to encourage the writer to consider whether actually the negative points might have been worth something.

Perhaps I should more constructively say: hold all praise briefly to your heart and then let it go and focus on improving your writing.

[Adapted from a much earlier post. There is also more advice about finding and dealing with quality feedback in Write to be Published.]

How to be professional

2011-11-21T07:05:00.005Z

I often exhort aspiring writers to "be professional" and someone recently pointed out that I have never actually explained what that means. Which is not very professional of me as a professional advice-giver.

Writing may be a passion, but if we want to be published it is also a job. We must intend to earn money from it and we must therefore enter our profession and our industry with certain behaviours in mind.

So, when people like me ask writers to be professional in their approach, here's what we want you to think about.

Take steps to become informed - we don't have exams, but there is a great deal of knowledge to acquire. So, get clued up. Read blogs and books, make friends with people in the writing world, attend conferences, anything to ensure that you have the best level of knowledge possible before you submit your work. That way, you won't accidentally reveal horrible ignorance.

Present your work with decorum. The submission should be presented properly, neatly, carefully, with enormous attention to detail. Otherwise, it's like arriving at an interview in your scruffiest clothes and with egg on your t-shirt.

Don't make any of the newbie submission errors - if you did, this would only show that you haven't obeyed my first point. There's masses of advice about submissions in Write to be Published.

Show respect to those who know more than you - other published writers, agents and editors who know what they are doing. You're unpublished - this doesn't mean I'm a better writer than you but it does mean you know less than I do about being published, and being published is what you're trying to be.

Don't slag off the industry or any individuals in it. Yes, you can have an opinion and yes, you could be right, but be very cautious of who might see your vituperativeness and, more importantly, what this might say about you. You might be wrong, you see, or your newness to the business might mean you've missed an important point.

Be prepared to work very hard at making your book as good as it can be - and all the future books you are going to write. Show that you fully understand the work ahead.

Be prepared to accept guidance, criticism and editorial direction.

When relaxing on Twitter, be aware that you are still in public. You are allowed to have fun - in fact, who wants to work with someone who can't have fun? - but if you behave like a nasty or foolish person, you reveal yourself as a nasty or foolish person, and no one wants to work with a nasty or foolish person. Instead, behave decently to others, offering praise, joining conversations and not being a total divot.

Do what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it. If you've said you'll deliver something by December 1st, do it. If you feel you're not going to make it, give lots of warning and explain very simply that you would like to deliver it by [insert date when you are sure you can do it.] Be efficient and strategic, showing that you value deadlines and can manage your working life.

Don't be over-friendly too soon. In email or phone conversations with potential agents or publishers, be friendly, of course, but don't over-do it. They are busy. Take your cue from them. Don't gush or flutter or go overboard with the LOLs (in fact, please don't use LOL at all). Read their body language. You are not their new best friend. Wait until you actually are their friend before you get too chatty.

Seem in control of your life. Writers can, like anyone, be very disorganised and can have enormously distracting things happening in their lives. The art is to give the impression - always - that despite any of this you can still do your work. Writers often need to continue writing when children are ill or elderly parents being demanding or many domestic crises are going on. No one else can do your writing for you and you have to look as though you know this and can rise above everything. You need to show this in your off-duty behaviour on Twitter, Facebook or your blog, as well.

Always wear a suit when preparing your submission. If you wear pyjamas, they will see. :)

You may wonder how exactly you are supposed to demonstrate all these things. Professionalism is something which you don't always have to show explicitly - if you believe all these points, you will follow them implicitly and your professionalism will shine through your behaviour, the calm smile on your face, and the strength of your handshake.

The two most likely places for you to demonstrate professionalism are a) in your submission and b) on your blog, if you have one. Don't ask an agent or editor to go and look at your blog but do include the address subtly in your letter/email. Then they can visit if they wish and they most likely will if they are interested in you. There, they need to see you behaving like a real writer-in-the-making, someone who is all set to be a wonderful, professional author.That doesn't mean you have to be po-faced or that you can't let your hair down occasionally, but it does mean that your blog must be well-written and worth reading for all the right reasons.

Once you've made your mark, you can cross some lines and mess around if you wish. because it is possible to be professional AND fun-loving and highly creative. Professionalism is just a suit we wear.

Use bookshops this Christmas

2011-11-18T07:09:00.068Z

Bookshops are far more important than some people seem to think. Writers and readers need real bookshops and the passionate, expert booksellers who work in them. Amazon are expert sellers and, indeed, quite passionate about selling, but they are not passionate, expert booksellers. I don't object to the fact that they sell lots of books, of course - I simply object to how little they care what they sell as long as they sell lots of it. Beans or books, they don't mind. Mind you, there's also my amusing story of Sainsbury's and the Great Bacon vs Books Contest, which elicited and interesting and, at first, positive-sounding contact from the head of "entertainment" and a cordial email conversation between me and the head of book-buying. (I will report on the result of this conversation soon, but unless I get a reply to the requested suggestion I put together months ago, it may be a short and unhappy report. Come on, Sainsbury's - you can do it!)

Anyway, this post is not about Amazon or Sainsbury's but about bookshops, and passionate and expert booksellers. I've met them in Waterstone's, Blackwells, Foyle's and loads of independents. My pledge this Christmas is to buy books for as many people as possible and to buy them from bookshops. Physical ones. Proper ones. Not supermarkets. In Edinburgh, we have lots of choice and they are all excellent: Waterstone's (several branches), Blackwells and The Edinburgh Bookshop.

AND LOOK - you can nominate your favourite in the Telegraph Small Shops Awards.

And LOOK again! A SPECIAL CUNNING CHRISTMAS OFFER from EDINBURGH and OXFORD
If you're a writer or you know a writer who lives within travelling distance of Edinburgh or Oxford, here's something for you. Perhaps you could suggest that the loved one in your life buys it for you? Do pass this info on, please!

BLACKWELLs OXFORD WRITE TO BE PUBLISHED - Books + 2-hour event on Thurs January 19th, 7-9pm, with refreshments - £25

Blackwells approached me with the fab suggestion of a Christmas present package for writers. The package consists of a copy of Write to be Published, the ebook* of Write a Great Synopsis - An Expert Guide, and a ticket for an in depth two-hour evening event with me, in which I'll cover all sorts of aspects of hooking a publisher, and you'll be able to ask questions.
*This will be emailed directly from me on publication.

Interested? Either call in at the store in Oxford or phone them on 01865 792792. This is only newly launched so you could be the first!

THE EDINBURGH BOOKSHOP - Books + 1.5 hour event on Saturday January 28th, 2-3.30pm - £15

And the Edinburgh Bookshop is offering a similar package. The package consists of a prettily gift-wrapped copy of Write to be Published, the ebook* of Write a Great Synopsis, and a ticket for a 1.5 hour afternoon event with me, covering as much as I can and giving time for questions.
*This will be emailed directly from me on publication.
Interested? Call in at the shop on Bruntsfield Place at Holy Corner or phone 0131 447 1917

Both events are on my Facebook page - do sign up there so that you hear about other events and news. It's a good place to send me a message, too.

Support bookshops; support authors. Hooray!

Would you like to plug your favourite bookshops? Add them to the comments.

Crabbit's Tips for Writers - 3: On Approaching Agents and Publishers

2011-11-16T07:00:00.011Z

Here is the third in my series of free CRABBIT's TIPS FOR WRITERS. This one is Crabbit's Tips for Approaching Agents and Publishers. For the ones I've already published, see the label "Crabbit's Tips for Writers" by scrolling down the righthand sidebar. Or, for the full list see the first post here.
For today's tips, either read them below or go here for the free downloadable pdf, to print out and pin above your desk. Enjoy and pass on! This one is particularly for those who are new to this business of submitting to publishers. It's crucial stuff and I'm sure regular readers of this blog already know it because I say it quite often...

CRABBIT’S TIPS ON APPROACHING AGENTS AND PUBLISHERS

1. Research to find agents/publishers who handle the sort of book you have written. If they don’t, they won’t.

2. If the agent/publisher has submission guidelines (usually on website), follow them strictly. If they don’t specify something, follow the standard rules, as found on my blog and many others, and in other good written resources.

3. If you decide to go the wacky route and break a standard rule, don’t be surprised if you are rejected without response. Your sense of humour may not be the same as the person you are writing to.

4. A standard submission for fiction consists of letter, synopsis and approx the first 10k words; and for non-fiction contains letter, proposal (including outline or synopsis) and some form of CV as well as the first 10k words.

5. If submitting a novel, you must have completed it before approaching agents/publishers. If submitting non-fiction you need not.

6. Never do a blanket submission or use a submission service – each approach must be personal.

7. Never hassle an agent or publisher; do not thrust your manuscript at them; do not pitch or bug on Twitter; and do not vent your frustration in public. (Your blog is public.) Never criticise them for how long they’ve taken or anything they’ve said or not said. They talk to each other.

8. Understand the many reasons why they say yes and why they say no. It’s not just about your book so don’t take it personally. (Reading Write to be Published will show you all the reasons, so you can avoid them.)

9. Be prepared to be rejected, often. It’s not a lottery but it’s a very difficult game.

10. Be methodical: research before and record afterwards.

11. Expect to wait up to six weeks for a reply. If you haven’t had a reply by then, it’s fine to send a very polite email asking if they are interested. If they don’t reply to that, treat it as a rejection. Don’t contact them again.

12. Are you allowed to approach several at once? Yes, with caution. Don’t mess them around, especially agents who may work on their own and whose time is very valuable, and unpaid. So, be up front: if you are sending to someone else, say so, which gives them a chance to chip in with a request for you to give them a period of exclusivity. With publishers, feel free to send to a couple of others at the same time but a) not if you’ve been asked not to and b) don’t mess people around. Be up-front and professional. They do understand that you can’t wait six months for every reply but they need you to understand how busy they are, too.

13. Do not include gifts in your submission. Or photos, naked or clothed. Or confetti. Or anything except the submission.

14. Get advice only from people who have either been published by proper publishers or who have worked in the industry. Lots of people give advice when they know sod all.

15. Be writing your next book while submitting this one. If you only have one book in you, you are not a great prospect for a publisher or agent. Also, if rejections come in, it’s a comfort to you to know you have another book in progress. Besides, it will be better.

16. Some people break all the rules and get published. You could cross a road blind-folded and not get run over. That doesn’t mean that crossing the road blind-folded is a good way to live a long life.

17. In your covering letter, never boast or over-egg your book’s qualities. Don’t mention film rights or how the agent/publisher is going to be rich. Don’t tell the recipient that he/she will love the book or in any way tell them their job.

18. Writing a synopsis is nothing to get stressed about: I have masses of guidelines and examples on my blog and am soon publishing a book, Write a Great Synopsis – An Expert Guide.

19. Do not submit your work while drunk or otherwise likely to act even slightly unwisely.

20. Eat chocolate and drink coffee. And generally be kind to yourself but very tough on your work.

That's it - simples :)
GOOD LUCK AND WRITE WELL!

Synopsis Spotlight - Kip Cusack and the Spy Formation League

2011-11-14T07:15:00.040Z

I've chosen this synopsis by Louise Kelly because it nicely shows how you can (and should) convey the tone and voice of your story in your synopsis. Louise's worries whether, although the comic tone fits the novel, some vocab/phrasing doesn't match age range. Also, she introduces a new character right at end. Is this odd/wrong, she asks?

It's a novel for children of 9-11 (I'm guessing.)

Kip Cusack and the Spy Formation League: Synopsis

KIP CUSAK AND THE SPY FORMATION LEAGUE is the first adventure of 12-year-old KIP whose world flips upside down when he finds that his ‘Support For Learning’ sessions are in fact a cover for a spy training network – the Spy Formation League. Not content with making him grapple with his spelling, life now seems to expect him to grapple with villains too!

Kip arrives home one day to find the contents of his GRANDA TOM’s potting shed being hurled into the back lane, and Granda Tom~~, locked inside the garden,~~ denying that the ~~clearly audible~~ thumps and threats are ~~any~~ cause for alarm. And, why should they be? After all, Kip’s mum, ROSA, makes sure their life in the dull seaside town of Brawhaven is as humdrum as possible. But what Granda Tom knows, and what Kip is about to find out, is that all this is about to change … completely.

When Kip meets IRWIN, his new SFL [explain] teacher, it’s clear she’s got more on her mind than trying to deal with dyslexia. She’s there, she claims, to mould the group ~~class (Kip and his two SFL classmates GUTHRIE and JAMEEL)~~ [we don't hear their names again, so no need to include them here] into a top spy ring - oh, and earn her own stripes as a Spy Master ~~while she’s at it~~. ~~At first, Kip is sure it’s all some elaborate joke but~~ when eccentric Spy Master SARAH BELLA contacts the SFL with ~~some~~ astonishing news ~~his feet don’t have time to touch the ground before~~ he’s catapulted into the SFL’s latest case: the plot by world-dominating seed research company, SPORE, to control the earth’s food supplies. As Kip and his friends discover, SPORE will stop at nothing, even kidnapping top seed scientist,Taru.[I've put this here and deleted next para. Neater.]

Sarah-Bella reports her fears that the Super-Yield rice seeds, unleashed by (supposed) seed research company, SPORE, are linked to some reported episodes of brain-washing. Then, when Kip and his co-spies contact the Global Seedbank – home of the world’s seed reserves – to check out the Super-Yield strain, they find that the vital seeds have gone missing. And what’s worse so has Seedbank scientist TARU. It is clear that SPORE will stop at nothing to make sure they can keep control of their newly developed rice strain and the wealth, and power over the world’s food supplies, that it will bring them.

Kip’s first botched attempt to stalk the seed-pirates ends up with his incarceration in the Seedbanks [need apostrophe] freezers. But he has been practicing [UK spelling: practising] some of his spy skills – honest – and uses them to escape as well as to uncover the identity of one of SPORE’s top operatives, POULSON. What’s more, his adventure alerts Granda Tom to his grandson’s new identity – and prompts the revelation that he too was part of the SFL in his youth. With Granda Tom on board, the race to uncover the details of SPORE’s plans and rescue Taru careers onwards apace [don't like that phrase] but also brings new dangers. ~~Sensing that the SFL~~ ~~are closing in, Poulson and top seed-pirate, PATTERSON, decide they need to take drastic action and it is not long before~~ Kip finds himself kidnapped and on a boat to an island prison.

Overhearing plans that SPORE are on the verge of completing their stranglehold on the seed supplies, and that Taru is also hidden somewhere on the island, Kip tries to signal for help… but when none arrives Kip knows he has no choice but to take on Patterson and Poulson on alone. ~~Once again, however,~~ he is overpowered and thrown to sea – with a lump of concrete tied to his leg ~~for company~~ – and left for drowned.

With ~~only~~ seconds to spare, ~~however~~, one of his SFL companions reaches him ~~- it seems that he had got a signal through –~~ and plucks him from a watery grave. Kip’s tale, and the information they decipher from a coded message ~~that he’s also managed to captur~~e, show that there is no time to lose. Not only are the only [clunky repetition of only]viable rice seeds about to be spirited away, but Taru will drown if they don’t get to him before the tide changes.

Kip, the SFL and Granda Tom speed back over to the island but there is one more shock in store. Not only are Patterson and Poulson intent on absconding with their haul [cliché and clunky!] but Patterson intends to ~~remotely~~ detonate a device which will blow-up the Seedbank and everybody in it as soon as they are in open sea with their cargo. [That whole sentence could be: their enemies plan to blow up the island and disappear with the seeds.]

Gone are any traces of Kip’s former insecurities and indecision [first we've heard of this!]and ~~now, in the face of such malice,~~ he does not hesitate. Giving chase to Poulson and Patterson, he masterminds the cornering [clunky] of their escaping boat, dives across to them from his moving vessel, disables their engine and brings them to a halt. Then, with artful persuasion he extracts the over-ride code from Poulson and averts the detonation of the Seedbank.

[I have no idea what this next bit actually means!] If only escaping the wrath of his mum was that easy.

Maybe now Kip can begin to grasp just what it might feel like to have the quiet confidence of his eccentric dad FERGAL. And maybe his adventure has given him a taste of what his mum has been trying to protect him from all his life. And he thinks he might be ready to taste more.

OK, here's what I think.
Essentially, it's a great synopsis, Louise! Lively, fast-paced, age-appropriate and credible. I disagree that there's a problem with vocab not matching the age-range. OK, so I perhaps know which phrases you're thinking of but this is the synopsis and not the actual story and it's very marginal. However, your concern about the sudden appearance of a new character at the end is valid. It definnitely feels wrong, not least because I have absolutely no idea how he fits. So, essentially, you've messed up the ending of your synopsis.

One important point: you mention the scene with Granda Tom's potting shed as though it's important. Actually, we never discover the point of that, so I think you've put it in for all the wrong reasons: it sounds quirky, fun and scene-setting; but it's not ultimately important or interesting.

I've also cut out some unnecessary words and details and tried to tighten your prose. That does give you room to add back in some action phrases to spark it up again but do so in a snappier way than the bits I chopped out.

Any other comments, anyone? Essentially this is how a synopsis should be just before the final revisions of it before sending out. You could get this perfect in another fifteen minutes of polishing.

Books for Christmas

2011-11-11T07:00:00.000Z

Every year, I encourage buying books as gifts at Christmas (or any time, tbh.) My effort this year has three parts:

PLUG A BOOKSHOP - Giving you the chance to nominate your favourite bookshops, particularly the ones near you. That post is coming soon.
PLUG A BOOK - Giving you the opportunity to plug a book you have enjoyed this year and want to share. That will also come soon.
ERM, PLUG MYSELF - Giving you the chance to buy my books direct from me - with some freebie extras for you. That post is today :) Why?

Because today I am 50! Hooray! (I know it's hard to believe but it's true.)

So, here's the offer:

Buy one of my books from me before Dec 12th and get the ebook of MONDAYS ARE RED free. (If you don't have an e-reader, it doesn't matter: you can read it on your laptop or a load of other things.) See here for the post about the new edition of Mondays are Red. A free copy for every book you buy from me.
Buy three books and get a free Crabbit Bag.
Buy four books and get another free. (Cheapest free.) And the Crabbit Bag and free Mondays are Reds, obvs.
Postage and packing - £1.60 for the first book; 80p more for each subsequent book.
All books come with a clump of signed postcards and if you have any specific requests for signed cards, please say so - within reason, I'll oblige.
All orders also come with my gratitude and a special happy dance!

Here's what to do:

1. Please email your order to writetobepublished@hotmail.co.uk with the word BOOK ORDER in the subject line.
2. In your email, tell me the title(s) you'd like and who they should be signed to, and your address*. And how you'd like to pay - PayPal or cheque. I will then email to confirm availability and give payment details.

Notes:

*I'm afraid I can only handle UK orders. It's just too complicated and expensive to send overseas. Sorry. :(
While supplies last only. I have reasonable stock of most books and a good number of Crabbit Bags.
For details of all the books, see my books page for the YA/children's books and here for the Write to be Published page.

Prices before postage:

Fleshmarket: £5.99
Highwayman's Footsteps / Highwayman's Curse: £6.99
Blame My Brain / Know Your Brain: £5.99 (Limited stock of Know Your Brain)
Deathwatch: £6.99
The Passionflower Massacre: £5.99 (Limited stock)
Wasted: £6.99
Write to be Published: £8.99

Other titles are not currently available.

If you'd rather avoid postage by buying from a bookshop, NO PROBLEM! I am thrilled when anyone buys any of my books, wherever you buy from, and I hugely want to support bookshops. And if you can't afford or don't want to buy a book, do tell others about them. Thank you, lovely blog-readers.

And now, please excuse me while I go and celebrate my new maturity...

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me.....

Crabbit's Tips for Writers - 2: On Getting Published

2011-11-09T07:03:00.010Z

Here is the second in my series of free CRABBIT's TIPS FOR WRITERS. This one is Crabbit's Tips for Getting Published. Last week's was Crabbit's Tips for Writing Fiction. For that and the full list, see that post. Next week will be the one on approaching agents and publishers and I will be publishing one every week or more often until they are all up or I've run out of energy. This might happen.

So, for today's tips, either read them below or go here for the free downloadable pdf, to print out and pin above your desk. Enjoy and pass on!

CRABBIT’S TIPS FOR GETTING PUBLISHED

1. Be informed – learn about publishing and bookselling; connect to good information sources on Twitter, blogs by published writers and from online book industry experts. There is no excuse for ignorance nowadays.

2. Get your advice from experts but your emotional support from friends and fellows. An unpublished writer is the best person to advise about how to survive being unpublished, but not how to be published. And even published writers are limited in what they know. Hell, everyone is limited in what they know. Learn to assess those limits.

3. Seek critical feedback from people you trust to tell the truth. And then respect them for the strength to give it to you.

4. Publishers only accept a book for one reason: they believe they can sell enough copies of it. They need to make money. We need to get over that. However, not all publishers, genres and books expect to make lots of money or sell zillions of copies – the definition of “enough” varies. Know your market and research the right publisher.

5. A published writer might not be a better writer than a rejected one. Not all good writers will achieve publication. Some crappy ones will. Getting published is about writing the right book and submitting it in the right way to the right publisher. Nothing more. (Unless you are a celebrity. In which case, publishers will even want to publish your dribble.)

6. Perseverance is not enough. We also need to improve. This comes with good feedback and lots of informed practice.

7. The moment when you give up trying to publish your first manuscript and start writing another is what makes you a writer. The second will be better but the first is the one that began to make you.

8. Be the sort of person you would like to work with: nice, fair, professional, intelligent, willing to learn, hard-working.

9. Even a brilliant writer needs a brilliant-sounding idea. So, fashion yourself a wonderful must-read pitch to hook your agent, editor and reader.

10. Of course your mother thinks your book is utterly fabulous. She’s your mother.

GOOD LUCK AND WRITE WELL!

The CRABBIT’S TIPS series consists of:

1. Writing Fiction

2. Getting Published

3. Submitting to Agents and Publishers

4. Publishing Yourself

5. Ingredients of Poor Writing

6. Synopses

7. Non-fiction Proposals

8. Author events

9. Teenage Writing

10. Children’s Writing

Mondays are Red is coming

2011-11-07T07:20:00.021Z

Please accept my apologies for hijacking my own blog to plug something of my own. Normal advice will be resumed soon.

Recently, my agent and I were delighted to get the rights back to my first novel, Mondays are Red, and now we are publishing it again as an ebook. Very exciting for me!

Here is the gorgeous new cover designed by Andrew Brown of Design for Writers. I love it. It's fiery and red and sinister and rich. What do you think?

One lovely thing about doing this new edition is that I have the freedom to add some extra material, so I have written these extra bits:

A new intro.
Some fascinating facts about synaesthesia and links to interesting sites.
An analysis of some things I've changed for the new edition, and why. As writers, you might find this interesting because what I've found is that in the ten years since I wrote the book, certain writing fashions have altered. Some words have changed and some writing conventions, too. So, as an end-piece, I've written about what I changed and why and what I haven't changed and why. I've changed very little, though in many ways I'd have liked to change more. Never satisfied.
Where I got the idea.
There are some pieces of creative writing by some school pupils from St Laurence School, Wiltshire, who've been studying Mondays are Red. Loads of schools use it, for reasons which will be obvious to you if you've read the book. You will be amazed by the boys' work. I will be doing some projects with other interested schools and if you know any English teachers, do let them know.

Would you like a free copy of the pdf or Kindle version? Well, on Friday* I will be introducing my annual signed-books-for-Christmas offer, which includes a free copy of Mondays are Red every book ordered. And I'll be doing be some giveaways during December. (*Friday is a very special day for me for another reason, too, as some of you know!)

Would you like to be involved in the blog tour? There are a few spaces left. If you have a relevant blog and think you can appeal to the right readers - writers, teenagers and all YA book-lovers - let Becky Hearne know. (rzhearne@gmail.com)

Do you know a secondary school librarian who would like a free copy? Any school librarian who contacts me at n@nicolamorgan.co.uk before December 1st can have a copy.

Have you already read it? Want to say something I could quote in press releases? DO!

Later on this blog I'll be looking at some of the weird language of Mondays are Red and I'll be showing you all the rules I broke for this debut novel. Do as I say, not as I do... *frowns*

What will it cost? I think it will be £1.99 until mid January and then go up to £2.99.

When is it published? Monday 28th November is the plan. A bright red Monday.

I am very excited! I hope you don't mind my plugging it here but I kind of hope I've earned the right :)

Synopsis Spotlight - Ghost in the Machine

2011-11-04T07:17:00.008Z

Please help blog-reader Fiona Maddock with her synopsis problem.

Fiona says: "Please find attached my synopsis for my debut novel, Ghost In The Machine, 86,000 words. The genre is techno-thriller and it's for adults. I hope it appeals to men and women, but especially women, because I like reading stuff like this, so I've written my own, because girls like gadgets too.

What's wrong with it? *Sigh* It doesn't seem to be interesting enough to elicit a full manuscript request. One problem could be that I haven't got the genre quite right. Another problem could be that the ending needs to be stronger, and if I used another 4,000 words to do that, I would have a novel at a nicely rounded length of 90,000.

I'd describe it as 'techno-thriller with romance'. The thing is, it's not 'blokey sci-fi' and it's not quite women's commercial fiction (or is it...?) I don't know. I'm having a horrible bout of critical crisis at the moment so I've stopped subbing until I feel better.

[NM intervenes: Fiona, you need to remove your double character spaces before each sentence. Regardless of personal preference, it's really important only to have one nowadays or you'll cock up all the eformatting.]

I've added some notes as I go along. Bits crossed out indicate details that can disappear. Obviously, once those details are omitted you'll sometimes need to clarify things differently.

Synopsis

The year is 2020. In a biomedical private clinic in the UK, divorcée Tess Brookes emerges as a nineteen-year-old babe, thanks to a bioengineering procedure called ‘Regeneration’. Her new life will tick all the boxes: exciting, glamorous and pimped by technology, gadgets, and apps. ~~Tess is ecstatic over her fabulous looks and the promise of an A-lister lifestyle.~~

The cybernetics division of the Bio Multinational corporation, {omit comma] employs Lance Tully, brilliant robotics engineer, to build a new concept in humanoid robots ~~for the Hungry Horse Burger Company~~. He pushes Artificial Intelligence (AI) to the limit but the company wants sentience, using Artificial Consciousness (AC), which is still theoretical. Pressured ~~by the bean counters and marketing guys~~, Lance plunders the templates of Tess, the ‘regen’ client, to model the body and the pseudo-human ‘machine mind’ of the robot, Pandora.

Uber-cool Pandora is Lance’s masterpiece. ~~Never mind that humans and robots are all mixed up,~~ the company is delighted, and Lance is riding high. [add: until] Pandora ~~makes friends with the backup prototype, Dilip, and is distressed when the company sends Dilip away, so she~~ escapes from the lab t~~o find him~~.

~~A few days later,~~ Tess returns from a business trip to Paris, and her colleague and best friend Jools ~~is really pissed off with her; she~~ thinks Tess has gone mad. ~~Tess is alarmed and~~ confused.She goes to get her car but ~~unknown to her,~~ Pandora has already taken it.[be more general about that stuff - show what's happening without giving all examples.] ~~She calls a taxi to take her home, and reports her car stolen.~~ At home, life has changed. Tess finds a replica of herself in her hallway. ~~Tess challenges the stranger but only gets crazy answers from her.~~ The police arrive to investigate the complaint of the stolen car, but they see it in Tess’ driveway, where Pandora parked it, and they think Tess is psychotic. ~~It doesn’t help that Pandora goes into static ‘default’ mode and makes Tess look like a fool.~~

Rob Shaw, eCommerce lawyer, a client of Tess’ firm, is calling Tess ~~on his Blackberry~~. It’s their first date but she’s stood him up. Tess ~~had clean forgotten, but goes to meet him and~~ asks him to help her unravel the mystery of her doppelganger. [All the following paragraphs are more outline than synopsis. See my post from yesterday.]

Shaw threatens the Chairman with a writ when he discovers Bio Multinational has stolen Tess’ brain patterns. The Chairman tricks Rob into a meeting and kidnaps him.

Tess and Rob have fallen in love, and she tries to rescue him. She finds him in the biomedical facility, but before they can escape, the staff catch them and lock her up too.

Lance must recover the robot or his career is finished. When he does, the company orders him to decommission her. Pandora overhears the command and she blacks out from panic. While the programming team tries to revive the robot, Lance receives an SOS text ~~on his iPhone; it’s~~ from Tess. Lance smuggles Pandora out of the lab, and they rescue Tess, but Rob is no longer there. Tess is forced to flee without him.

Lance needs Tess’ brain updates for Pandora, and he persuades Tess to shelter the robot~~, now in jeopardy if the company discovers her~~. In return, Lance pledges to help Tess find Rob. ~~Tess doesn’t trust the robot but agrees to do it, and~~ she and the robot discover they need to co-operate in order to survive. ~~Lance fancies Tess and attempts to win her while Rob is out of the way. Then~~ Tess discovers that Rob has provided the human template for Dilip. Lance has been holding out on her and Tess feels betrayed ~~and is furious~~.

Unexpectedly, Rob turns up at his office unharmed. Tess is desperate to be reunited with him, but he has no memory whatsoever of her, and she is devastated.

Tess and Pandora conspire to trick Lance so the robot can steal a copy of Rob’s most recent brain template, which Tess hopes to use to restore Rob’s memory. Tess’ own trusted bioengineer, Fraser Healy, succeeds. Rob recognises her once more and the pair is reunited.

Epilogue

Lance programmes Pandora as his robot lover and she struggles to understand his human reactions with her hybrid mind. [Doesn't seem like a resolution.]

My comments: this reads too much like an outline, listing all the things that happen - which is useful in lots of ways but not quite a synopsis. When you do this you lose the atmosphere of the novel. It tells me that yes, you've put the plot togther, but it doesn't feel elegant enough. It focuses too much on details rather than giving an overal sense of the story. By cutting out lots of details and telling it in a more story-telling way, you'd make it read better. So, what we're looking for is more style and motivation, more generality and less detail. More emotion, more motivation, more interaction between characters. I think you'll find my post of Monday helpful.

And, by the way, I wouldn't normally expect to enjoy a techno thriller (or however you'd describe this kind of sci-fi?) this is but I thought this sounded intriguing!

What does everyone else think?

Crabbit's Tips for Writers - 1: On Writing Fiction

2011-11-02T07:09:00.003Z

In my absurd desire to pander to your every whim and propel you towards publication at no financial gain to myself, I have written a series of free guidelines for writers, called CRABBIT’S FREE TIPS FOR WRITERS.

This series will consist of:
1. CRABBIT’S TIPS FOR WRITING FICTION
2. CRABBIT’S TIPS FOR GETTING PUBLISHED
3. CRABBIT’S TIPS FOR SUBMITTING TO AGENTS AND PUBLISHERS
4. CRABBIT’S TIPS FOR PUBLISHING YOURSELF
5. CRABBIT’S INGREDIENTS OF POOR WRITING
6. CRABBIT'S TIPS FOR SYNOPSES
7. CRABBIT'S TIPS FOR NON-FICTION PROPOSALS
8. CRABBIT'S TIPS FOR AUTHOR EVENTS
9. CRABBIT'S TIPS FOR TEENAGE WRITING
10. CRABBIT'S TIPS FOR CHILDREN'S WRITING
And maybe more!

I will publish them one at a time, starting today, both on the blog and as a downloadable document. Today's download is here, where you can print it or email it to anyone, or you can read it below.(I sometimes have trouble with these download links so please tell me if this one doesn't work.)

Remember: I explain and expand on all of this advice elsewhere, elegantly and succinctly in Write to be Published and with gayer abandon here on the blog. Please spread the word about this advice - too many agents and publishers are still receiving crap submissions. They are a bit cross with me that I haven't managed to reach more people. Also, some of them keep sending me examples of eel vomitish submissions and I have had enough. Enough, I say.

CRABBIT’S TIPS FOR WRITING FICTION

1. Never break a rule you don’t understand. When you fully understand it, you can do what the hell you like with it.

2. Here are the main things you must control in a novel (and often in a short story): structure/shape, character and character development, dialogue, point(s) of view, voice, pace, tension/suspense, believability, sentence rhythm, grammar and syntax (which includes punctuation), subject-matter and themes. All should be appropriate to genre.

3. Therefore, know your genre. Read, critically. Note that some genres are more tolerant of certain errors – and less tolerant of others.

4. Think carefully about what a reader needs to know and when. Don’t over-explain.

5. From the start, we need to know: who has the problem, what is the problem and why should we care?

6. Trail hints of future conflict or tension early in the book.

7. Give as little back-story as possible at the beginning. Drip-feed it and only as needed.

8. You do not have to start each scene at the beginning. Leap into the middle and leave before the reader’s had enough.

9. Beware saggy middles. Create an enormous setback in the middle and make us CARE. Spread obstacles judiciously, for greatest impact.

10. Know far more about your characters than you will ever need to say.

11. Manipulate pace by treating chapters like breaths. If you end a chapter at the end of an episode, you finish on out-breath – relaxing, complete. If you end midway through an episode, you finish on in-breath – tense, exciting, desperate for air. Control where your readers rest.

12. If in doubt, leave it out – sub-plot, character, scene, paragraph, sentence, word.

13. Avoid everything in my List of Ingredients of Poor Writing.(Coming soonish.)

14. Read your work aloud, imagining that your audience consists of appropriately-aged reluctant readers with ADHD. If you hear them fidgeting, delete or rewrite.

15. Read it aloud again, noticing rhythm and clunky sentences.

16. Read it aloud again, this time as though you have a rapt and attentive audience. Listen to the applause: you deserve it. But don’t let it go to your head. Someone didn’t like it but was too polite to say so. Trust me.

17. Of course your mother thinks your book is utterly fabulous. She’s your mother.

GOOD LUCK AND WRITE WELL!

www.nicolamorgan.com

PITCH PITCH 5

2011-11-01T07:13:00.001Z

Two pitches for your perusal today.

First, Josiphine Noire would like our help with her pitch for Captive of the Sea. It is a YA historical novel set during the decline of the Viking age. Josiphine says, "Right now I feel like my pitch is...stale. I can't think of a different word for it. If I saw it on the shelf the chances that I would read it are slim at best."

Readers, can you help?!

Caciana was stolen from her homeland, Spain, when she was too young to even remember it. Now she spends her days mostly forgotten with the sheep in the field, which is why she is the only one who survives when the Vikings come raiding. She tries to convince herself that being a slave in Norway won’t be any different than being a slave in Ireland. But she hadn’t counted on…

…Ivor, the handsome young Viking who spared her life, but doesn’t quite know why.

Each has their own journey. When the journeys undeniably become one, neither expects the outcome, or the lessons learned on the way.

My comments: love the title. Several powerful elements: Vikings, slaves, Spain, raiding. But what happens? The last para is hopelessly vague. There is no room for vagueness in a pitch. How old is Caciana, btw? Is she gorgeous? Is she cruelly treated? Brave? I want a strong image of Caciana. What does the story consist of other than the actual capture, vague love and personal journeys? What is the special element of this story, its hook, the thing that's going to make us think MUST READ? So, Josiphine, I think you're right: it sounds weak, but I think that comes down to the words you've chosen. I'm sure you've got a story full of drama and emotion but you just haven't managed to convey it.

My suggestion: brainstorm some words and phrases that your book consists of or conjures up, everything you can think of. Then identify the 15 most compelling words or images. And weave as many of them as possible into your pitch.

Second, Elpi Pamiadaki sent me this, which she used in a query letter for her Paranormal Romance novella, Queen of Souls. Elpi says, "Queen of Souls is a 25,000 word story and is aimed at the Nocturne Cravings imprint of Harlequin. The writing guidelines request a very sexy and sensual read, so the readership would be young women over 18."

Hades, the god of the aetherworld, was forced to betray his wife, Persephone, to save his kingdom. Wracked by guilt and misery, and in the guise of Aiden Black, he has waited two thousand years to find her again.

Stripped of all her powers and dragged to the future, Persephone remembers nothing of her past as a powerful goddess and Queen of Souls, nor of the dark stranger to whom she is desperately and mysteriously attracted.

Knowing that only Persephone can save his kingdom, Aiden must re-awaken her powers, not realising that this will begin a chain of events, orchestrated perfectly to destroy them and the aetherworld.

Can Persephone learn to love and to trust again? And can her feelings save Aiden from a plot hatched eons ago of truly Olympian depth and cunning?

My comments:

Elpi, I'm assuming the guidelines also say Harlequin will accept novellas? Leaving that aside, there are some really good elements to this pitch but I feel it tails off. The third and fourth paragraphs are weaker: "not realising that this will begin a chain of events, orchestrated perfectly...". What sort of events, orchestrated by whom? Can you find a phrase that is more specific, more dramatic, more emotional? Also, who is the main character? Are we to sympathise more with P or H? And do we want her to love and trust again when H betrayed her so roundly? Rather than asking whether she can learn to love and trust, tell us what her dilemma is from her pov. We need a couple of neat epithets to give us a sense of who we should identify with and why. Having said that, I think the premise of the first two paragraphs is a great one. It could be the only paranormal romance I'd want to read!

But I'd say it doesn't sound very sexy or sensual - since that's required, can you add it to the pitch?

Now, dear blog readers: over to you. Comment away, constructively, please.

The key to a synopsis is to forget your book

2011-10-31T07:01:00.002Z

I've always known that the best way to learn something really well is to teach it. You think you know something but until you put it into words for someone else to understand, you don't know if you know it properly. And you might find you don't.

My point? While writing my forthcoming book, Write a Great Synopsis - An Expert Guide, I have learnt something extra about how to write synopses. I learnt it from myself, I hasten to add, but it was the act of trying to explain everything about synopses as clearly and fully as possible that showed me a truth I hadn't been aware of.

So, am I going to make you wait till January when WAS comes out? Of course I'm not! I wouldn't be so cruel.
My lightbulb moment came when I was preparing to write a synopsis of Wasted, as an example to go in the book. I enjoyed writing it and it took about fifteen minutes, perhaps less. "Well, this is a doddle," I thought. "I always knew people stressed too much about synopses." I wondered why I found it easy. And then I realised.

I'd forgotten the order of events in Wasted. I'd forgotten everything except the most important events, characters and emotions, the core drivers of the book, the skeleton and the skin. I'd (accidentally) deleted from my memory everything that shouldn't be in a synopsis. And I didn't look at the book once while writing the synopsis because a) I didn't need to, which is the point and b) I'm lazy.

This made me think of two analogies which I'd already used in Write a Synopsis but which now became clearer.

The conscious human analogy
If your synopsis were a human being, we'd see the skin and have a sense of the strong skeleton but we would not see the organs and veins, because the vital gleam in the eyes would be sufficient evidence that the body was properly constructed. Also, you need to include the ending, because otherwise you've got a body without feet.

The journey analogy
If your book is a journey, the synopsis needs to include:
1. Who is on the journey and why?
2. What is the intended destination and why?
3. What terrible thing will happen if they don't reach their destination and who or what is trying to stop them?
4. What happens to knock the travellers off course?
5. What characteristics and tools do they use to get back on course?
6. What is their actual destination and who survives and with what injuries?

Here’s what we do not need to know (unless what we're writing is an outline, which, as I explain in WAS, is different):
1. All the detours they took along the way - unless without it we can't understand the book
2. The weather.
3. What they said to each other.
4. What the scenery was like.
5. The people they met along the way, unless without them we can't understand the book.
6. The route in order.

Because my dyslexic-behaving brain can't do sequences, I can never remember what order things happened in, or even that half of them did. This makes my brain perfect for writing synopses and the amazing thing is that until I tried teaching you lot about all this I didn't even know my brain was perfect for anything.

Hooripity-yay.

So my message to you today is: when writing your synopsis, cultivate a really crappy memory like mine, a memory that forgets everything except essence. To paraphrase all of our mothers: if you can't remember, it can't have been very important. And if it's not important, it has no place in your synopsis.

Therefore: whatever you do, don't look at your book when writing your synopsis. Your book has no place there.

Coco Competition Results!

2011-10-28T07:07:00.002+01:00

I have the results of the Coco chocolate competition! The standard was stunning and you'd clearly had lots of fun writing them. I chose a shortlist and then lovely Joanne Harris very kindly chose the three winners. Here's what she said:

Hi Nicola,
GREAT shortlist! I wanted to try all of them...
Reluctantly, I have to choose only three. They are as follows, equally and in numerical order: 2, 4 and the compelling (but quite creepy) 11.
Congratulations to everyone, and thanks for including me!
Lots of love,
Joanne

The Eleven Shortlisted entries

1. Teenage daughter?
Pale, alabaster looks with just a hint of a blemish beneath the smooth surface. First impression is unadulterated, exquisite, sweetness. Abruptly, a mouth-melting, throat-tingling heat explodes from the velvet creaminess. Moments later, it is extinguished by the enduring embrace of innocuous sweetness but there is awareness now, of hidden depths. Sweet, feisty, unpredictable, addictive – white chocolate with chilli. (by Clare Donaldson)

2. (Joint winner) This bar will put a love spell over you this Halloween. A smooth and scrumptious salvation: Dark as a vampire's heart yet light as a haunting ghost, it's been conjured up for you to taste the best of Scotland. Ravished with blood red cherries this witches’ delight will please the tongue and intoxicate the tastebuds. Once bitten you shall be smitten. (Kate McPhillips Age 16)

3. Roses so red they would light a fire, the petals ground with star anise and a knowledge as ancient as chocolate itself; filaments of pure vanilla stretch out of the rose heart, through layers of the richest mousse and a sparkle of salt flower, to folds of voluptuous chocolate that clothe the whole in gleaming darkness. (by Julian Hill)

4. (Joint winner) Three violet creams nestled in a tiny box. The first conjures a memory, a tiny perfume bottle with a hand-painted violet, hidden somewhere safe. The second, the ghost of the delicate Parma violet I nurtured then forgot. The last I linger over, lost in the night we made violet-infused wine and promises we couldn’t keep. (by Kirsten Colvin)

5. Organic handmade dark chocolate with a sniff of chilli and crackle of Black Sea salt. May be sucked, nibbled, licked or gargled. Best consumed in suburban harems or woman caves. Suggested musical accompaniment: Hot Chocolate (You Sexy Thing, Live 1976). To avoid blindness wear dark glasses. Hydrate with peat whisky. Bathing generally not permitted; floating imperative. (by Elizabeth Dunn)

6. This new flavour is divine. Infused with Shiraz and shot through with chilli, each bite is a whirlwind world tour, heat rising from an African Savannah yet as sexy and spicy as Spain, and all as the dark cocoa cream melts across your tongue like a yearning heart suffused with the perfect dream. Tantric chocolate, all pleasure, no guilt. (by Andrew James)

7. Chocoreekie
This chocolate is as dark as an Edinburgh close in winter and has just a hint of smoke. The addition of cocoa nibs makes it a craggy bite, but with a swirl of marmalade added for sweetness it will appeal to
every palate. Experience the essence of Scotland’s capital; taste Chocoreekie. (by Christine Howe)

The Regency
Dream of fabulously dark and luxuriously smooth bitter-sweet chocolate, spangled with praline and expertly folded over a cracknel base. Imagine this sumptuous partnership nestling in a toasted coconut quilt and delicately topped with a bud of cherry, honey and almond Florentine. Could this be too good to be true? We think not - Dreams become reality at Coco. (by Mike Jarman)

9. Mr Darcy Addiction
A darkly rich outer shell conceals a contradictory inner secret. It caresses your tongue and floods your senses. Warming, silky honey and strong notes of spicy ginger collide as they embrace the gorgeous, sensual temptation of fragrant, succulent mango.

And just like Mr. Darcy, once experienced, nothing else will ever come close.

You are addicted. (by Catherine Kemp)

10. You versus the torte
Your silver fork slides into slick crumb like a scythe into a wet peat bank. Sugar-grit and the lurking bitterness of dark chocolate fill your mouth and sing the tastebuds electric. You force the nerve-punching bliss into a polite smile - but in your patent leather shoes, under the linen tablecloth, toes curl.

Sweet defeat. (by Dayspring MacLeod)

11. (Joint winner) Salome 85% revenge chocolate is a perfect male head, hidden in edible gold foil. Lick lightly first. Dissolve. Bite the face, spill blueberry syrup, then catch real cranberry pieces tart on the tongue. The skull collapses and secret bones of white chocolate lie within. Finally, around its neck, a tiny bottle of rose petal wine to wash away the guilt. (by Julia Bohanna)

Huge congratulations to all the shortlisted writers and especially the three winners! Please always remember that a judgement like this ends up being a) difficult and b) hugely personal choice. ALL these writers and many of the non-shortlisted writers displayed great skills and imagination. It's also worth saying that my own choice of three winners would not have been entirely the same, though it also wouldn't have been entirely different. Well, OK, one of them would have been the same, but I'm not saying which...

I wonder if you noticed that one of the winners was only 16? I asked Joanne to judge all the entries regardless of age, and I pointed out that I was going to commend 16-year-old Kate's writing very highly anyway, but Joanna has put her amongst the winners, fair and square. Kate is a pupil from a school near Edinburgh. Fabulous writing!

Could the three winners please email their UK addresses to info@cocochocolate.co.uk, for the attention of Kristina?

Thanks again, everyone. It created lots of interest for the gloriousness that is Coco of Bruntsfield and I ended up buying several bars myself and not regretting it even a tiny bit! It was clearly a popular topic and it was obvious how much you all enjoyed writing your entries. Honestly, the standard was uniformly excellent.

Write a Synopsis - Expert, Snappy, Stressfree

2011-10-27T07:22:00.004+01:00

Well, I have decided. Possibly. Yes, I am - almost - certain about the title for my forthcoming guide to synopsis-writing. But I could change my mind at any moment.

You may remember that I asked for your help, and help you did. Many of you. I said I'd give a free copy to the person whose suggestion I chose, but that became complicated because so many of you were so helpful and in the end what I chose was not exactly what anyone had suggested and yet it was informed by so many of you. So, in an All-Must-Win-Prizes sort of a way, I have decided that all must win a prize. So, ALL those who have already contributed to that discussion will win a free copy (pdf or Kindle version) as soon as it's ready, probably in the New Year when your resolutions are at their strongest.

My decision* is: Write a Synopsis - Expert, Snappy, Stressfree

* in the loosest sense of the word.

Or possibly: Write a Synopsis - Expert, Snappy and Stressfree

Or even: Write a Synopsis - An Expert Makes it Snappy and Stressfree.

Oh feckity feckity feckity. (There goes my CRB clearance. I am now officially a danger to young people.)

Erghh. I may need to ask you to vote between those three...

I loved Jan's idea of Help! I Need a Synopsis! and the various permutations of Right and Write and Sensible Guide etc, to fit the concept of branding, but I don't then want to be tied to those words for future titles. I loved Mary's Make it Snappy and Jan's In a Nutshell, but in the end I needed to describe the book more concretely, for someone who has no idea what I do. I know the word "expert" is effective, and I did want to include "write a synopsis" or "write a great synopsis" somewhere. So, although it's not the cleverest or most original combination, I like all of my possible decisions well enough: the first part is crystal clear, appropriately, and the second part is functional. And the whole thing is suitably snappy and yet full.

So, thank you! And could these people please send me an email address? Also, when you email me, if it's not likely to be 100% obvious to me which of the personages you are, please say so in your email.

Rebecca Brown

Elaine AM Smith

Carolb

Mary-Jane

E. A. Brass

Helen

Widdershins

Later, I look forward to bringing you the cover, designed by Andrew Brown.

Meanwhile, I'm working my way through the synopses that some of you sent for free analysis on this blog and/or for use in the book as examples. I now have a substantial backlog so any you send from now on may not be seen before you are published!

Do please comment about my choices and say which of the slight variations you prefer. Or if you hate them all...

Finally, if you know of a well-followed blog for aspiring writers that might want to be part of an extensive blog tour, do please suggest below or contact Rebecca Brown - mail@rebeccaebrown.com* - who is my trusty publicist for this book! (Becky Hearne is still my lovely assistant but Becky now has a glorious proper job with Hachette as publicity officer, so I can't call on her so much, sadly.)

[Apologies - that email address was originally wrong. Now corrected.]

All publicity suggestions gratefully accepted. Meanwhile, I will be putting more synopses up here for your comment soon.

State of flux - where we are now

2011-10-26T07:15:00.004+01:00

I draw your attention to this excellent overview of the changing situation in publishing vs self-publishing. Libby Fischer Hellmann has used both avenues, and therefore knows of what she speaks. She compares how things were eighteen months ago with how things are now, listing changing pros and cons of each route to publication.

My message has always been, "Whatever you do, do it with eyes wide open" and that blog post will really help clarify things, I believe. It also has links to other useful posts.

I think she speaks great sense and I like her calm analysis.

To remind you of my own position:

As you know, I have been published many times (around 90) by trade publishers - publishers whose role is to take all the financial risk (apart from my considerable time) of production and distribution and invest in the editing, copy-editing, proof-reading and marketing of my books.
However, a) most trade publishers now invest far less in all of those roles for most authors, including me b) published authors are expected to do more and more for less and less return and c) some books are eminently suitable for self-published, at least by clued-up authors.
Therefore, as you know, I am also doing some self-publishing, under Crabbit Publishing. I have so far published Tweet Right, am about to republish Mondays are Red (details very soon!) and then will publish my in-progress ebook on how to write a great synopsis.
However, I still want to be published by trade publishers for some of my work. I think I am very well-placed to know which is the better form for each book of mine.
And I want to continue to share that knowledge with you and help you make the right decisions, too. Through Pen2Publication, I am also currently helping a client who intends to self-publish a novel.

So, there you have it.

Oh and one more thing: I don't care about my sales as much as perhaps I should. I care many times more about putting out books I can be proud of. Commercially, I care very much that my books sell enough to keep a decent publisher happy - because otherwise I won't stay published - but riches? You can stick them.

Luckily.

In which Scott/Steve/Pack/Stack talks of white dog poo and pitching non-fiction

2011-10-24T06:51:00.003+01:00

Planning to pitch a non-fiction book? Aimed at the general, commercial (as opposed to specialist) market? Would you like advice from someone who is or has been all of these things: a) bookseller (of a rather influential variety) b) a publisher (of general, commercial non-fiction) and c) an author? Look no further.

Today we are talking about 21st Century Dodos: A Collection of Endangered Objects (and Other Stuff) by Steve Stack. Those of you who've been awake on Twitter recently will know that Scott Pack and Steve Stack do more than rhyme: they are the same man. And they are here today.

First, a bit about the author: Scott Pack, who writes as Steve Stack, used to be the buying manager at Waterstone’s head office, a role which did not make him all that popular. He is now the Director of Digital Product Development at HarperCollins, a role he combines with a few other jobs at the publisher. His first book, It Is Just You - Everything’s Not Shit, was a #1 bestseller in the Humour ebook charts (a small claim to fame, but one he is more than happy to chuck around). He blogs at http://meandmybigmouth.typepad.com and tweets as @meandmybigmouth.

About the book: A fond farewell to the many inanimate objects, cultural icons and general stuff around us that find themselves on the verge of extinction.

We’ve all heard of the list of endangered animals, but no one has ever pulled together a list of endangered inanimate objects. Until now, that is. Steve Stack has catalogued well over one hundred objects, traditions, cultural icons and, well, other stuff that is at risk of extinction.

Some of them have vanished already. Cassette tapes, rotary dial phones, half-day closing, milk bottle deliveries, Concorde, handwritten letters, typewriters, countries that no longer exist, white dog poo…

…all these and many more are big a fond farewell in this nostalgic, and sometimes irreverent, trip down memory lane.

I've been reading it and very entertaining and interesting it is, too. I'll tell you something: Steve Stack knows far more about cassette tapes than anyone really should. And at last I understand, in an almost geeky way, what really went wrong with Betamax. But absolutely the most fascinating entry is the one for white dog poo.

NM: You’ve been a bookseller, publisher and author. Tell us one thing you learnt in each of those roles that helped you succeed in or understand better the others.

Ooh, blimey. Erm…

I think I learnt the same thing in each role: authors who make the effort to be nice to deal with get more support than those who don’t.

[NM adds - that is SO true. I don't see why anyone thinks being anything other than nice is a sensible thing to be in a business that is about hearts and minds.]

NM: What are the commonest mistakes you see in non-fiction pitches?

The most common is that people don’t research their market. I often get pitches for books that I would never publish at The Friday Project, never in a million years, and any numpty could have worked that out with 30 seconds of research.

[NM: no numpties read this blog, I'm glad to say. We all research properly, don't we, people? That means discovering what sorts of books each publsiher publishes and pitching appropriate ones, OK??]

NM: What discussions take place in an Acquisitions meeting that aspiring authors would do well to know about?

Actually, all of the hard work for an acquisitions meeting takes place before the meeting itself. You need to prime everyone in advance, get them on board for the project you want to pitch. Identify the people who are prepared to champion it and make sure they are vocal in the meeting.

If you have that support then you are able to present the book with confidence and enthusiasm. That is what really matters.

[NM: indeed, I've heard that editors quake before these meetings, though I'm sure Scott is entirely unquakey. It's worth adding that in most publishing companies nowadays, the editor has to persuade the number-crunchers in sales and marketing, and they care less about the author's pretty words and more about the concept and whether they can sell enough copies. That's their job. They will also work out a budget and costings at this meeting.]

NM: Can you give your top three tips for non-fiction writers?

You may not be writing a novel but you still have to be a great storyteller.[NM: Good one.]
Does this really need to be a book, or is it a magazine article?[NM: Good one again.]
Listen to the criticism you receive from people in the business. It won’t always be right but it will almost always be helpful. [NM: interesting take. Think about that one carefully, everyone. That's a version of "Nobody knows anything."]

NM: How important is it for a non-fiction writer to have a “platform” before you will take them on? Is that view common amongst UK publishers?

It certainly doesn’t do any harm but it is by no means essential. I have published authors who have already developed a readership, either online or in print, but I have also published complete unknowns who have gone on to sell over 100,000 books.

If you have a great idea and you write it well then a platform is not always required.

I think all publishers feel more comfortable if they feel there is a fanbase or existing readership, some more than others, but all of them have taken punts as well.

NM: What will be the next dodos in the writing/publishing/book world?

Ooh, good question. Who knows? Will these new Flipbook things catch on? Will print books be wiped out by ebooks? Will hardbacks be no more? I think there will be a few casualties but the new digital age is actually making more things available so it may not be as bad as some are predicting. [NM: I totally agree. People are too fond of saying, "This much has happened in the last five years, so by 2016 we will have...". Not at all necessarily. Everything is changing so fast.]

NM: What about space dust? Surely that’s an unforgiveable omission? Scope for Volume 2? Oh, and Gumption, too! Pfffth.

Naturally, any omissions are deliberate and are absent purely to set up volume two. [NM: clever...]

People, for your pleasure, do also go and check out this Flipboard link. And if you have an ipad, for crying out loud hurry to download the free Flipboard app. Beautiful and functional, I promise.

Thank you, Scott and good luck with your book. This could be this year's stocking filler in many houses.

One more piece of advice about non-fiction from me: don't over-estimate the potential market. Be ruthless and objective about your position in the market and what the competition is Differentiate yourself. And do go and read my interview with Stephanie Butland, who successfully pitched her book on dancing with cancer - Bah! to Cancer.

Synopsis Spotlight - The Girl on Winter's Hill

2011-10-21T07:03:00.005+01:00

Introducing the second brave synopsis-spotlight-provider, Margaret Kirk. If you don't know how these spotlights work, please read the previous one here, and the post here in which I introduced both the task and my forthcoming book on how to write a synopsis. Which is what all this is leading up to. (And, by the way, I have - I think - chosen my title for the book. To be revealed soon!)

In your comments, you aren't necessarily meant to be saying whether you like the sound of the book, but whether the synopsis does a good job of making it clear and coherent and whether it follows the general guidelines of synopsis-writing.

The Girl on Winter's Hill - by Margaret Morton Kirk

Everybody’s got a past. Just not one like Chrissie Fraser’s…

Chrissie can’t remember much about that summer afternoon in the hills above Rossan. She knows what started as a lazy day with her boyfriend Rob and his fledgling rock group, ended [clunky phrasing there, Margaret, and the comma is wrong] in a car crash which left her fighting for her life. She knows Rob, the driver, escaped unhurt, while her cousin died and her friend Liam was badly injured — Rob’s fault, according to the village rumour-mill. What she doesn’t know is why Rob disappeared, leaving her to face the aftermath alone. And scared. And pregnant. [Nice effect.]

Sixteen years later and six hundred miles away, Chrissie’s made a new life for herself and her daughter [add Eve]. But when her mother’s serious illness forces a return to Rossan, she discovers the past isn’t so easily buried [perhaps be more specific? This is slightly vague. Needs better link to the “not coming to terms bit” in next para. Also burying the past is a bit of a cliché?].

When Chrissie’s mother dies, fragile fifteen year-old Eve, bullied at school, begs her to let them stay in the village she’s fallen in love with. Realising she needs to come to terms with the events of sixteen years ago, [Better to hint earlier that she hasn’t come to terms with them, I think] Chrissie agrees. A tentative romance develops with Liam, and Chrissie hopes she’s finally laid the past to rest [Again, this is a somewhat vague phrase, not to mention being a cliché!]. ~~She couldn’t be more wrong.~~ [But]While she struggles with her re-emerging feelings [You are the mistress of the vague statement, tinged with cliché!] for Rob, newly returned to Rossan, an older, darker past is reaching out to her.[Ahem.]

Fascinated by the photograph of an unknown woman she finds amongst her mother’s things, Chrissie determines to discover her identity. But ~~her search creates a rift with Liam, whose increasingly controlling behaviour masks a disturbing family secret.~~ [You are actually about to say this anyway.] Unknown to Chrissie, Liam recognises the woman from the locket she’s wearing; she’s his great-grandfather Callum’s first wife, rumoured to have deserted him for her musician lover, leaving Callum vowing revenge. Only Liam knows she never left the village. [As an aside about the plot, I feel that this seems unlikely. How many of us know what our great-grandfather’s first wife looked like? I hope you make this credible in the actual book?]

On the day of the crash he’d stumbled on a woman’s skeletal remains hidden near his family’s farm, a locket round her neck and a knife between her ribs. Sickened [again, suspension of disbelief issue: would he really be that traumatised? This is some generations ago - I'd actually be somewhat fascinated, or at the most disturbed. Or is that just me?!] by the thought that Callum could have been the murderer, he’d panicked and covered all traces of his find. But after the crash, his traumatised mind [For this to feel believable, we need much earlier hints in the synopsis of Liam’s a) instability and b) involvement in the crash] had started to merge past and present. At the height of a devastating mental breakdown, Liam had believed he was Callum—when Chrissie returns to Rossan after sixteen years’ absence, she has no idea of the danger his reawakening delusions will pose. [I’m a bit confused as to when Liam’s delusion started – at the time of the crash or later? I could probably work it out but your synopsis needs to be clear on first reading.]

As Liam’s possessiveness worsens, Chrissie grows closer to Rob as he and Eve forge a strong bond. ~~As the bells chime for a New Year, he asks her to give their relationship another chance, and Chrissie admits she’s never stopped loving him.~~ [Too much detail – sometimes too much detail makes it *less* believable, not more.]

When Chrissie tells Liam she and Rob are back together, he becomes increasingly unstable. He blames Eve’s growing bond with Rob for Chrissie’s decision to end things with him. ~~With ‘Callum’ more and more in control,~~ he mounts a campaign of terror, staging a break-in at Chrissie’s house and terrorising her friends. In a final desperate act, he abducts Eve, ~~hoping to rewrite history~~[Eh?]~~— with Eve out of the way, he believes Chrissie will realise she belongs with him~~. But Chrissie’s learned enough of what happened that day to work out where he’s taken Eve. Back where it all began, on the Winter’s Hill above Rossan, Chrissie and Rob confront Liam. As the police close in, Liam’s mind disintegrates ~~and he undergoes a complete mental and physical collapse.~~ Eve is found, suffering from hypothermia and badly traumatised, but alive.

As Eve recovers, Chrissie’s life is at a crossroads. [Make stronger – crisis, dilemma etc] ~~She must decide whether to give her relationship with Rob another chance, or stay in Ceann Aird, the house she’s grown to love again.~~ At first she tells Rob their lives are too different for things ever to work out between them. But ~~with time comes a measure of healing for them all, and [~~cliché and feels far too vague] when Rob returns to Rossan in the spring, Chrissie’s ready to give him a different answer. [Need to find a way to make that ending feel stronger and more specific.]

______________

In my opinion this is a well written synopsis, which flows well and ticks most boxes Margaret said: “It's succinct, but at the moment that's pretty much all that's in its favour. Women's fiction, non-linear plot, interwoven time periods. Synopsis feels flat and one-dimensional, but I think the novel is a better and more sophisticated mystery than this makes it sound.” I disagree – I think it feels pretty rounded and multi-dimensional. I think it nicely weaves the strands and time-scales together in a way that gives me a good sense of the book. (Well, I assume so, as I haven’t read the book, but that’s the point, as the agent hasn’t either.)

My only criticisms, as you’ll see from my comments within the synopsis, are as follows:
1. You have a strong tendency to use clichéd and rather “wet” (sorry!) phrases to explain a situation.
2. We need more hint of Liam’s problems earlier.
3. You’ve made a couple of aspects seems unbelievable – even if they are not so in the book itself. It’s a good example of how sometimes giving too much detail makes a synopsis seem less believable – counter-intuitive, I know, but the inevitable loss of context causes problems. The knack is to find the phrase that conveys authority, without detail.

Nice work, Margaret. What do you think of my suggestions? Anyone else got any comments?

Bah! to pitching a non-fiction book

2011-10-19T07:01:00.002+01:00

I'm delighted to bring you an interview with a blog baby. (A blog baby is one of my blog-followers who gets a publishing deal.) Stephanie Butland is now the proud author of a brand new debut, How I Said Bah! To Cancer. Apart from the weird way in which she found her agent, her story is a classic case of write the right book, in the right way etc etc etc. Oh, and though I would never reveal publicly that someone had been a client of Pen2Publication, Stephanie has already said that she was. And a lovely client, too.

Stephanie is a delightful person and her book is great: powerful, very moving and fascinating.

About Stephanie

Stephanie Butland was diagnosed with a breast cancer in October 2008. Since then she's had surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and drug treatment, and now she's thriving. [Hooray!] She lives in rural Northumberland with her family, near the place where she grew up, close to beaches, an ice cream parlour, and most of her family. (It would be heaven if it was a little bit warmer.) Her move 'back home' after 20 years of living in London was one of the very positive side effects of her dance with cancer.

Stephanie writes in her studio, which sits under the branches of an apple tree at the bottom of her garden. Between books and articles, she blogs and speaks about surviving cancer. Her aims are simple: to show that breast cancer is not necessarily the end of the world, and to try to make a dance with cancer easier for others by sharing the approaches and strategies that worked for her.

When she's not writing, Stephanie trains thinking skills and creativity throughout Europe, and works with individuals to help them to think more effectively. In her spare time, she knits, spins, reads, bakes, goes to the theatre, takes long walks on quiet beaches, and makes excellent use of any shopping opportunity that comes her way.

You'll find Stephanie's blog, and more information about her and her work, at http://bahtocancer.com

NM: So, Ms Butland, pitch your book to us. Who is it for and what do you hope they get from it?
How I Said Bah! To cancer: a guide to thinking, laughing, living and dancing your way through is for anyone dancing with cancer, and anyone who wants to understand, help, and support someone who is going through it. I hope that people who read it will be comforted and helped, and I hope they will laugh a bit. It's a mix of memoir, thinking strategies, and practical advice. As well you know, because you saw an early version of it!

NM: How did you get your agent?
I won him in an auction! My agent, Oli Munson at Blake Friedmann, was participating in an auction to raise money for the book trade charity. Authors could bid to have their proposal and first three chapters assessed. I put in a bid, and several friends and people from Twitter chipped in too, and I won. Oli read the first three chapters, asked to see the rest, then took me on.

NM: What did that process teach you about submitting a non-fiction proposal? Can you share what you learnt, in the form of tips? Anything surprise you?
Getting an agent was the last stage in a long process. I wrote and rewrote until I thought my first few chapters were perfect, and then I had them assessed by you via Pen2Publication, and I realised that there was much more work to do - so I kept writing, polishing, writing, polishing. Other friends in publishing were generous with time and invaluable advice.

My tips are:

Every single word has to earn its place in a manuscript.
Getting your ms read by people who will give you honest and robust feedback is essential. The less they know you, the better. Some of the best feedback I got was after putting a shout out on Twitter for readers.
You are not entitled to be published. Accept help gratefully and rejection gracefully, and keep learning.

NM: Once you got your agent, what did you have to do to the book? What did you learn from your agent during this process?
I didn't have to do a lot. I'd written a short epilogue, addressed to people who were dying, and Oli rightly pointed out that this wasn't really in the spirit of the book. Oli was very positive about the book, which gave me great confidence, and I pretty much left him to it - I'm a great believer in letting people use their expertise.

NM: What happened then - ie how did Oli get the deal? Did your publisher make changes/suggestions?
I was away from home, running a training course, when I got an email from Oli to say that Hay House wanted to have a meeting 'in advance of making an offer'. After that it all happened very quickly: we had a meeting in which people said ridiculously lovely things about me and the book, which was slightly bizarre, as when you are unpublished you somehow imagine that everyone in publishing hates books, hates writers, and especially hates you - and within a fortnight the offer had come in.

NM: Did you then have to make any changes that you were a little bit sad about, even at first? Did you have to throw out any babies? If so, how do you feel about that now?
Not really. I'd discussed some small changes in emphasis with my editor at Hay House, Carolyn Thorne, who was always very clear that this was my book, and I must be happy with it. Before submitting the manuscript I went through it one more time, sharpening up and expanding some bits and taking out others, and really felt that I'd done the best that I possibly could. Of course, copy-editing made it even better.

NM: What do you wish I'd asked you?!
Can't think of anything, I'm afraid!

Thank you, Stephanie!

Questions or comments, anyone? I have a signed copy to give away to a randomly-chosen commenter in the UK.

The ironic thing about my book on synopses...

2011-10-17T07:09:00.003+01:00

...is that I can't work out a short enough title. LOL, as they say.

Would you like to have a bit of fun at the same time as learning something (perhaps) about title choices for ebooks? There's a free copy of the book (ebook - you can choose pdf or Kindle version) for the person who either comes up with the chosen title or whose suggestion is nearest. In fact, there will be two free copies going because I need a title and a subtitle and two different people might be needed. In fact, I may well end up giving more free copies to other helpful people. (Deadline this Friday...)

What you need to know about titles:

1. The title needs to say very clearly what is in the tin - functional is better than pretty or clever-clever, though pretty and clever is pretty clever. Tweet Right was probably slightly too pretty/clever, though the subititle (The Sensible Person's Guide to Twitter) made up for it.
2. To succeed in the Google rankings, a non-fiction book's title/subtitle needs to contain a phrase most likely to be used by someone searching for information on the topic, and since Google rankings are the self-published and non-fiction author's best tool, I have to play that game. So, in this case, I imagine that the most likely search phrases would be:

how to write a synopsis
guide to writing a synopsis
synopsis-writing
help with writing a synopsis
you get the picture (Not that.)

3. I don't feel that the plural, synopses, should appear in the title or subtitle.
4. The title should be as short as possible, though the subtitle can be longer. (The reason for the short title is purely aesthetic: the cover design for the Crabbit Publishing non-fiction list requires it. Also, my cover designer - hello, Andrew Brown - is very bossy.)
5. Obviously, I'm looking for the title and subtitle that will sell the most copies :)

Here are the ideas I'm currently playing with:

Title:
A. The/Your Synopsis - Short and Sweet
B. The/Your Synopsis Made Short and Sweet / Simple / Stressfree
C. How to Write a Synopsis
D. A Stressfree Synopsis / A Simple Synopsis
E. Make Your Synopsis Sparkle

Subtitle:
A. Taking the stress out of writing a synopsis
B. An expert's guide to writing a synopsis / synopsis-writing
C. How to write a great synopsis - stress-free
D. The synopsis made simple and stressfree
E. An expert helps you write a great synopsis

You get the picture. Please tweak, add, adapt, invent, mix it up, and practise your copy-writing skillz.

ALSO: please tell me the questions you want answered by the book. I think I know what you want to know but I'd hate to miss something out. Add your questions below. If you already added them to last week's post here, don't worry: I've got those and am on the case.

Synopsis Spotlight - Glass Houses

2011-10-14T07:06:00.004+01:00

As you know, I'm writing a book on synopsis-writing. Last week, I offered you the chance to have your synopsis put under the spotlight, with a view to a) blog-readers commenting construcively and b) possibly having your synopsis (and some comments) featured in the book as an exemplar.

The first brave writer under the spotlight is Jackie Buxton, with Glass Houses, which she says is general fiction for adult readers. (She also says it's likely to appeal to women over 30 - I suggested she doesn't specify the age, but I do agree that it's more likely to be read by women. Sorry to those who object to that...) Jackie says that her problem is in making it succinct. I actually think she has made it relatively succinct (except in some details) and, in some ways, too succinct! You’ll see my comments in italics and brackets. Where I’ve crossed things out, those crossings out create the need to express the sentence differently but I am merely trying to give a sense of what detail we don’t need.

Glass Houses (103,000 words) by Jackie Buxton

There’s an [fatal] accident on the ~~M62~~ motorway. We see ETTA ~~DUBCEK~~ ~~(35)~~ ~~sitting in the wreckage~~ ~~of the car in front of hers~~, holding the hand of a stranger who’s fighting for her life. [Add eg: and who caused the accident in a moment of carelessness.]

[Add: That stranger is] TORI ~~WILLIAMS~~ ~~(50)~~ is ~~plunged into~~ a coma a~~fter ~~sending the text which~~ allegedly causes the pile-up~~ ~~in which two adults and a baby die~~. With the support of DOUG, Tori’s affable husband ~~of 23 years~~, and daughter, ~~CARLY,~~ ~~her body twitches its way out of paralysis as she attempts to force words from her lips.~~ [All we need to know is family supportive [eg] as she slowly [?] recovers.]

Etta finds it hard to shake off the experience [so, is this her guiding emotion? Doesn’t feel strong enough.] of being with Tori as they waited for the ambulance. ~~With a fraction of a second’s hesitation~~, she, too, might have been a killer. ~~Initially intending to visit Tori just once,~~ she ~~strikes up a friendship with her mother, RUBY,~~ ~~and~~ becomes one of Tori’s few staunch defenders. ~~‘I didn’t sit with a murderer,’ she writes, ‘I sat with somebody who’d done something foolish.’~~ Etta’s friend, PEARL, challenges this sympathy ~~for Tori~~ but realises that there is more to it than Etta is willing to admit. [Need more about this - or maybe later.]

A horde of reporters greets Tori as she emerges from hospital with ~~blatant~~ disabilities and scars. The press is camped out on her doorstep. Her business, ~~Party People,~~ has folded. [She becomes a damaged recluse.]~~Nobody invites her to dinner and the furthest she strays from home is the café in Out Patients.~~ ~~When she is charged with the lesser offence of Driving Without Due Care and Attention,~~ the family of the baby who died at the scene vow to sue.

[Cut following para to the bone.] But Tori is only fifty and is not prepared to live the rest of her life trapped in this way. [Does anything preciptate the change of heart?] She confronts journalists, becomes a regular on radio phone-ins – respected for her honesty. She takes a sandwich board to the high street and amasses signatures from those who have also made mistakes. The quiz show, ‘Tori’s Truth’, is launched to great acclaim and her presentation to sixth-formers on her, ‘Moment of Madness’ is an enormous success. She is even training as a Samaritan. But most of all, her positive attitude is catching. There’s a buzz around the country. Even the press are on board. [Delete some examples.]

Doug, however, cannot stand the attention. ~~He fears for Tori once the media bubble has burst and has promised their daughter that he will keep the press away~~. ~~In a final attempt to persuade her to reject this new lifestyle, he leaves her.~~ ~~Tori is devastated but cannot go back to her life pre-accident~~. [Just say that after months of arguing/***/ etc, their relationship collapses and he leaves. Give a sense of how long this takes.]

Etta and Tori ~~eventually meet. Etta, too, has a story to tell. The pair~~ bond~~, providing much needed emotional support for each other~~. [Add something more concrete.] Before a lunch date with Etta, Tori meets with her unpredictable step-father, GERALD. He ~~is a serial womaniser, no longer married to her mother but still keen to be a part of the family. He~~ blames Tori’s notoriety ~~and new outspoken behaviour~~ for the break-up of his latest relationship [this feels unlikely – find stronger motivation, or explain?] . ~~Her disabilities force her to walk holding his arm. He is walking too fast.~~ He pushes her in anger. She falls into the road and is hit by a car.

Paramedics are en-route. A ~~switched-on~~ passer-by calls Doug from Tori’s phone. Tori reflects. She’s re-built her reputation from the lowest of bases. Her contribution to society is so much greater than before the text message, her moment of madness, but she will always have blood on her hands.[Simply say, eg, “But Tori sees this as a way out – she has lost the will to live.”]

Doug is ~~pacing down the road~~ towards her. She does not want to live without him. ~~Her heart is slowing. Her chin sinks to her chest.~~ ‘When I wake...’ she thinks. It is for the reader to decide how they feel about her death. Now to Gerald. How will society react to his moment of madness? How will his life be affected? ~~The transiency of our lives continues.~~ [Too many unanswered questions, ones we don’t sufficiently care about because Gerald only just arrived.]

_________

This is an example of a synopsis that would raise concerns for the agent or publisher because the story feels somewhat thin for the 103k words. We’re left with some questions which the synopsis should answer. (They may be answered wonderfully in the book but there's a doubt in the synopsis.)

Who the hell is Etta and what is her secret?
Why should we care about Gerald? He’s a “serial womaniser” and appears only in order to kill the woman we’ve come to sympathise with. It doesn’t feel as though there’s enough about him before the climactic scene, and yet not enough after either.
Who is the main character? We know why we should care about Tori but what about Etta? If she’s equally “main”, we need to know the part she plays; if she’s a secondary character, her role in relation to Tori seems so crucial that we should know her secret.

There is sometimes too much detail (“Doug is pacing down the road towards her”) and yet this is a 103k novel, so what major plot elements have been omitted? The knack is not in making a long or complex plot seem simple but in telling it succinctly, which are too different things. For example, “after several episodes in which x realises that y…” can cover fifty pages in half a sentence. The key is not in telling every episode but in making it clear that something has happened, something meaty and important.

Jackie, congratulations in getting this far. I would not have picked your synopsis if it was awful! There are some significant virtues: it reads quite elegantly and smoothly and is clearly expressed. I picked it because it had some examples of faults that could be identified and rectified. The main problem (I feel) is that it reads as being too thin. Assuming that you definitely have enough action and intrigue to fill 103k words, you need to give a sense of that.

Readers - your comments! Please bear in mind the genre. It's not a thriller so don't demand thriller content. Also, remember that we are judging the synopsis, not the book itself - though there may be aspects that cross-over.

Jackie, thank you! I'll let you know if I use it in the book and if you want to redraft your synopsis to show how you responded to our comments, that's great.

Of chocolate, Coco and a delicious competition

2011-10-12T07:03:00.000+01:00

It has come to my attention that it is a long time since I mentioned chocolate on this blog. There is very little excuse. Chocolate, I have always argued, is essential to all but the most peculiar writer, loosening the wordsmithing parts of our brains and cloaking our thoughts in necessary sensuousness.

My long-suffering therapist suggests that the reason for my silence on the subject is that last year I moved from Edinburgh’s Bruntsfield area, leaving behind the delicious artisan chocolate shop, Coco of Bruntsfield. It was, I admit, difficult to talk about and has taken the healing power of time for me to recover.

BUT. Guess what? Coco have opened a new shop on Broughton Street. Round the corner from me! They obviously love me and basically want to marry me, but the next best thing was to open a chocolatey emporium so close that I could lurch from my flat and accidentally stagger through their door to be snatched from the jaws of certain death by the reviving properties of the worshipful bean.

What has this to do with you, dear writer? Everything. Everything, I say. You see, I have been communicating secretly with Coco and I bring you A Plan.

A competition. With prizes. Chocolate prizes. To celebrate this week, which, as you must know, is Chocolate Week. And who in the whole world would be the most incredibly apt person to judge this competition? Joanne Harris, author of Chocolat. Hooray with chocolate knobs on! Coco are big fans of Joanne, keeping Chocolat in the shops and telling their customers all about it.

First, let me tell you of the utter amazingness of Coco, because you need to know what it is that you might win. All their chocolate is hand-made in their Edinburgh kitchens. (Give me the key, I say. Give it to me NOW.) They have been in business for seven years and all design work, packaging and recipes are done in house. They are the designers, recipe-makers, brain-stormers, etc. When they collaborate with outside artists (for window displays and recently for a mural which they turned into a new logo for Coco simply because they loved it) they make it super clear who the artist is, where they work, how to buy their work. They are artists themselves and they know what that means. They even run One Day Chocolate Schools and Connoisseur Evenings. *faints a little and has to be sustained* And look at their accolades here. Coco have collaborated on chocolatey projects with Dalmore Whisky, the Scotch Malt Whisky Society, Tom Ford Fragrance, The Scottish Government for Tartan Week in NYC, the upcoming BBC show Death By Chocolate (they are the chocolate consultants in Sydney for the show) as well as others. They also make and develop own brand chocolates for some of the most exclusive department stores and companies in Britain! If they told you they'd have to kill you but it would at least be a death to die for.

Don't you love the sound of this? "Organic Handmade Dark Chocolate with Rose & Black Pepper - Made from a decadent base note of organic dark chocolate, organic ground black pepper and pure rose oil from organically grown roses creates an award winning blend of sensual floral balanced with peppery spice."

Or the Coco Siren Collection – "Each solid chocolate square is illustrated with stunning artworks made from coloured cocoa butter, so simply melt away as the sweet chocolate is savoured. The chocolates are packaged in a beautiful Coco Chocolate art series box with Sirens swooning the Coco mantra - Let the Coco Sirens Tempt You to Chocolate Bliss!"

So, the competition. I did originally plan to ask you to write something inspired by the fabulously imaginative haggis-flavoured chocolate that they are trialling. But, although I have tested this and found it to be very delicious and containing no nasty hidden parts of animals at all, I realise that it might be a bean too far for some of you, so, I have made it easier.

The task: Think of a chocolate or chocolate product, real (no brand names) or purely imaginary, and describe it in max 60 words. Sell it to us; make us salivate. The only limits are your word power and your imagination.

The prizes: Three prizes, each consisting of three bars of their most popular Organic infused bars (such as Orange Lemon and Geranium, Rose and Black Pepper, Strawberry and Green Pepper, Hazelnut and Sea Salt – the list goes on!), tied up with a ribbon, plus a sample bar of the Haggis Spice. Garrghhh - I am very tempted to enter with a pseudonym, tbh.

Rules:
1. Email your entry to writingtutor@hotmail.co.uk – in the body of the email and with the words COCO CHOC COMP in the subject line.
2. Include the name you’d like made public if you win or are shortlisted.
3. Include the UK address you’d like your prize sent to if you win. These addresses will not be kept and will not be used for any other purpose.
4. The shortlist will be chosen by me and Joanne Harris will pick the winners. Our decisions are final – you may not agree with them but all good writers know that personal response is paramount.
5. The deadline for entries is midday, UK-time, Weds 19th October 2011.
6. All or some shortlisted entries may be published on this blog. Copyright and all moral rights remain with the writer.

Meanwhile, here is Coco's mail order page: perfect for a gift for the person in your life to whom you’d most like to say thank you, or well done, or commiserations, or I love you, or gosh, that’s a fab blog you’ve got there …

Before you go, I'd like to mention that your judge, Joanne Harris, has a new book coming out soon. Runelight, sequel to Runemarks. I've been lucky enough to read a proof copy, and I can confirm that it's the work of a brilliantly inventive mind. It's full of glorious language and a rich array of very real characters, and wolves, and I highly recommend it to all fantasy afficionadoes, especially those who like real depth to the worlds they read about.

And now go and write, about chocolate.

The 25-word hook revisited

2011-10-11T09:17:00.000+01:00

My recent post about creating a 25-word hook for your book generated a huge response - 115 comments so far. And, as I said there, I was preparing a talk/workshop on the subject, at Wordstock. That event has now happened and I promised the workshopees that I'd blog again and give everyone another chance to pitch a 25-word hook. And here I am.

Do, please read that post first, but I will recap or re-express here what we're looking for in a mini-pitch like this.

WHO? Focus on the main character. Forget the name - we don't care about the name as much as what sort of character it is. Abandoned orphan, vengeful divorcée, insect-collecting stalker - all these are more interesting by a mile than Danny, Susan or John. I'd say only include the name if it's the best and most economical way to do it.
WHAT? Focus on the conflict, the drama the goal, the pursuit. Big it up - struggles, battles, fights are all better than decides, wants, resolves.
OR WHAT? The stakes - what does the character stand to lose if he fails?

The method I suggested in my workshop was this, but this is only a suggestion:

Start with an epithet for your MC: abandoned orphan etc
Brainstorm for two minutes, writing down all the things about your book you can think of - themes, events, climaxes, all the words which describe it or what it's about; some must be about your MC and his/her struggle/personality/emotions.
Circle the ten most important and compelling words or phrases, of which at least 3 must be about the MC.
Circle the 4 most compelling of those ten.

Those four elements plus the epithet are the basis of your 25-word pitch (though of course you can adjust them to fit). You can also use the other six if you want and have room.

Final tip: include wolves. (As we learnt in the previous post, when we realised that Joy hadn't told us about the wolves. Never forget the wolves!) Or, as we discovered in the workshop, hyenas. Wild animals are good. No, seriously: the point is that you need to identify and be aware of the emotional chord-tuggers and emphasise them. Wolves do something to us, as do war, death, magic, dragons, blood, wild moors, abandonment, snakes, the apocalypse and chocolate. Obviously.

Someone asked a very sensible question at the end of the workshop: where would you use this 25-word pitch? Bearing in mind that I've also said that this 25-word thing is an arbitrary (but very adequate and realistic) length, you would use it or a version of it:

At the start of the paragraph in your covering letter in which you describe your book.
At any point when you're asked to say what your book is about.
To store in your heart as you write, so you know what it is that you're doing. It's the core of your book and should be kept at your writer's core: your heart.

Now, would you like to pitch your hook here? Some rules:

If you pitched it on the previous post and received helpful comments, please don't pitch it again -we will just be overwhelmed. Well, I will be.
If yours was one of the ones I didn't have time to comment on before, DO please pitch it again. I apologise for not getting to you before.
If you've never pitched one, please do so!
Please comment on each other's - don't leave it all to me.
If you use more than 25 words, I will IGNORE you and so should everyone else.
Hurry up because tomorrow this blog will be taken over by a competition with prizes of chocolate.

Go hook us!

Your synopsis made short, sweet and stress-free

2011-10-10T07:09:00.014+01:00

I am writing a book about how to write a great synopsis. I know this will make you fall at my feet in gratitude and that you are already almost literally drooling with anticipation. Possibly even literally, but I prefer not to think about that too closely. Calm yourselves and go and take a cold shower or something.

Because I know it will be hard for some of you to wait for a book of such enormous necessity, I have a plan. I will now have a series of Synopsis Spotlights on the blog, via which YOU will be able to pitch your synopsis to your fellow writers (and anyone else who reads this blog) and get their constructive criticism and help to improve it. In the past I have had Submission Spotlights, which have been hugely useful to those writers brave enough to expose their work to public viewing.

I've just remembered that I did also start to do this with synopses some time ago. Here was Dan Holloway's synopsis spotlight.

Here are all my posts giving advice on synopses. Please read at least some of them before posting your own. My forthcoming book has much more to say, much more succinctly.

OK, ready? Here's what to do:

Your synopsis should be no more than two sides of A4 ("normal" font and size etc, single-line-spaced).
Send it as a Word (not pdf) attachment to writingtutor@hotmail.co.uk
In the body of your email, tell me a) genre and age-range and b) something (just a short sentence) about any problems you are having with the synopsis - eg is this a non-linear novel? What do you think is wrong with it? What made it difficult?

Please read these important notes. They form Terms and Conditions and if you send me your synopsis you are agreeing to these conditions.

I cannot guarantee to feature your synopsis on the blog. I will be looking for a range of different issues, and I may simply have too many to use, or yours may be too similar to another.
If I do use it, I take no responsibility for any consequences. No one has ever been treated harshly in these spotlights and I would not use a piece which I thought might come in for highly negatively critical responses. I will remove any comments I consider unfair.
If I feature your synopsis, I reserve the right to reproduce it (and possibly some comments) in the book I'm writing on synopses. I undertake to do this in a positive and respectful way and will give you the opportunity to read the relevant section in advance and to object to any comment that makes you feel uncomfortable. You will not be remunerated for the insertion - sorry! - but you will be thanked in the credits and will receive a free pdf of the book, with certain restrictions. Please do not send your synopsis in if you are not willing in principle for it to be featured in the book.

So, submit succinct synopses snappily. Seriously.

Friday Litlinks AND Listen with Crabbit

2011-10-07T07:10:00.003+01:00

Yes, both, all in one post. I'm so good to you.

Listen with Crabbit is actually Watch with Crabbit today, though if you want to listen to earlier Audioboos, do go here. Today's question is best answered in text form, because it requires me to include some links.

The question comes from Rebecca Brown, who says:

I have a question; only a theoretical interest sadly but I'd still like to know. Say you didn't have an agent, for whatever reason, and were offered a publishing contract (a real one, not a vanity. Assume my hypothetical author has managed to determine that much). What would be important things to look out for in the contract? Sort of red-flag clauses?

And here is my answer:

1. The Society of Authors has an excellent guide which will help you and you don't need to be a member to access it. All their guides are here. The publishing contracts one is £10 to non-members but there are other free guides which you will also find useful
2. Writer Beware is starting a great new series looking at things to look out for in contracts. The first post is here.
3. Writer and clever brain, Anne Rooney, aka Stroppy Author, has a section called How to Read a Publishing Contract on her blog, looking in detail at tiny aspects of contracts. And the rest of her blog is a mine of info on such matters.

And they all know more than I do, so I will leave it to them!

CRABBIT'S FRIDAY LITLINKS

For your delectation (in the first case) and your interest (in the second, I hope), I bring you two links today.

1. I always knew the Simpsons was a wonderfully educational and clever programme but now someone has started a tumblr blog of pictures of literary references in the series. Please enjoy!

by @Andrew_Culture

by @RebeccaEMorgan

2. And my other link is to my brand-new website. Designed by Kevin Thomson of Website Design Edinburgh, who had the intricate and complex task of interpreting my demands and constructing a site that is clean, easy and has room for all the hats I wear. And shoes, of course. And some chocolate. And fizzy wine. I'm nothing if not demanding. I think he did a great job and I hope you do, too.

My thanks and admiration to my younger daughter, Rebecca (@RebeccaEMorgan), and Andrew Culture (@Andrew_Culture), for the first and second images used on the home page and to Andrew Brown of Brown Media (@abaloo) for turning those inmages into the web-optimised sliding ones that you see.

There will be one of my crazy Twitter parties soon to celebrate, with a competition. But I have no time to tell you about it now so you must be patient. It will be an amusing competition, and a certain very large company might not like it. Oh dear. *weeps*

Never say never self-publish a novel: Catherine Ryan Howard visits

2011-10-05T07:12:00.001+01:00

OK, I'll admit it: I'm a bit of a fan of Catherine Ryan Howard. Catherine is one of self-publishing's success stories and that success has come about through her being clever, nice, strategic and a very engaging writer. I think her attitude to the whole business is utterly professional and she is well worth listening to. I read and enjoyed her first highly successful memoir, Mousetrapped: A Year and A Bit in Orlando, Florida, and agree with her ruthless analysis of why it wasn't accepted by a trade publisher. I bought both the ebook and POD versions of her bible of self-publishing - Self-Printed: the Sane Person's Guide to Self-Publishing - and very much followed her strict (scarily so) instructions when I came to write and publish Tweet Right - The Sensible Person's Guide to Twitter. In fact, was there possibly some subconscious influence on that title??

But Catherine was on record as saying she would not self-publish a novel. And now, she has. So I dragged her here to explain herself.

But first: about Catherine:
Catherine Ryan Howard is a 29-year-old writer, blogger and enthusiastic coffee-drinker. She currently lives in Cork, Ireland, where she divides her time between her desk and the sofa. She blogs at www.catherineryanhoward.com.

And about her novel, Results Not Typical:
The Devil Wears Prada meets Weightwatchers and chick-lit meets corporate satire. Through their Ultimate Weight Loss Diet Solution Zone System, Slimmit International Global Incorporated claim they’re making the world a more attractive place one fatty at a time. Their slogans “Where You’re Fat and We Know It!” and “Where the Fat IS Your Fault!” are recognised around the globe, the counter in the lobby says five million slimmed and their share price is as high as their energy levels. But today the theft of their latest revolutionary product, Lipid Loser, will threaten to expose the real secret behind Slimmit’s success...The race is on to retrieve Lipid Loser and save Slimmit from total disaster. If their secrets get out, their competitors will put them out of business. If the government finds out, they’ll all go to jail. And if their clients find out… Well, as Slimmit’s Slimming Specialists know all too well, there’s only one thing worse than a hungry, sugar-crazed, carb addict – and that’s an angry one. Will the secret behind Slimmit’s success survive the day, or will their long-suffering slimmers finally discover the truth? Available now in paperback and e-book editions.

NM: You self-published Mousetrapped because you recognised that (and why) a publisher wouldn't take it; you knew that although you could find readers who would like it, there would not be enough for a publisher to recover investment. Is the same true of Results Not Typical?

Essentially, yes. Results was on submission for nearly a year, and even bagged me a meeting with the editorial director of one of the biggest publishers in Ireland/UK. (That was quite the exciting afternoon, let me tell you!) But it was Mousetrapped-scented déjà vu – everyone who read it had positive things to say, but ultimately they felt it wasn’t suitable for the Irish/UK chick-lit market. One editor said that UK/Irish readers wouldn’t warm to the satirical nature of it, another said the humour was too slapstick and yet another said they she loved it, she just didn’t love it enough. (Surely the most infuriating rejection!) They all said there was something there – somewhere – and recommended that I go off and write something more mainstream, more meaty. I was getting that banging-head-off-brick-wall feeling again, so I stopped submitting it so I could take a step back and regroup. I started work on the Something More Mainstream & Meaty, but as I did, an evil idea began to form in my head...

NM: You said that you would never self-publish a novel. Why did you say that and why have you changed your mind, you naughty person?

I said it because at the time, I believed non-fiction was the only genre that could really suffer from the “We Like It But There’s No Market For It” rejection. I mean, if your novel was good enough to be published they’d publish it, right? But publishing houses just don’t have as much money as they did before to take a chance on something new (if they ever had it) and if you’ve written something that doesn’t neatly fit into an existing genre, then it’s something new. Publishing is a business at the end of the day, and me and my book were extremely high risk. Too high risk.

But I’m a business too – a self-publishing business. In March of this year, Mousetrapped had been on sale for a year and I’d managed to offload 4,000 copies of it. Up until that point I’d looked upon my self-publishing adventures as something to keep me in coffee grounds until some Fairy Editor-mother came along with a six-figure deal (hey, a girl can dream...), but I realised then it was time to start treating it like a serious business, like my actual career. I made two decisions: to write and release the sequel to Mousetrapped, a book called Backpacked, and to self-publish Results Not Typical. The editors who rejected it because they felt it wouldn’t do well in the Irish/UK market were undoubtedly right – they are the experts – but I don’t have to sell to any one territory. I can sell worldwide. Plus, I already have an established readership – I’m not starting from scratch – and there’s only a miniscule financial risk involved for me, relatively speaking, because I sell e-books and print-on-demand paperbacks. So for me, doing this is extremely low risk.

Do I hope Results sells a gazillion copies and that all the editors who rejected it burst into tears of regret while emitting wails of despair? Yes, of course. Obviously. But even if it does sell a gazillion copies, those editors will still be right. A book can be wholly unsuitable for traditional publication, yet do well when the author self-publishes it. That doesn’t mean either side was wrong. What matters is that both sides agree the book has merit, and that there’s people out there, somewhere, who’ll be interested in reading it. I just need less of those people than publishers do to say, “Okay. Let’s go.”

NM: Anyone who self-publishes has to spend huge amounts of time on marketing, no? And trust me, although published authors have to do stacks, too, you DO have to do more as a self-pubber. I know. So, how do you manage it and can you pass on some tips?

I barely manage it, to be honest. [NM adds: thank you, thank you, thank you!] My computer is on almost as much as I’m awake. In the last few months I took a step back from Twitter, etc. so I could write Backpacked, and that is reflected in my sales. If you stop working, the books stop selling. I feel like I have some momentum now but still, I have to keep working at it.

My advice would be to concentrate first on having a great “hub”. For me, that’s my blog. That’s always my number one priority and I put more time into it than anything else. If I have time, I’ll do things like Facebook, Twitter, etc. but I always make sure my blog is up to date and offering new, valuable content, no matter what my writing schedule is. I think if you do that, the whole online platform/book promotion/tweeting incessantly thing becomes infinitely more manageable. Blogging brings people to you, and that’s a whole lot easier than trying to go out there and find them.

Having said that, I have absolutely no time for the whingers and moaners who are all, “I just want to write. I just want to concentrate on my craft. It’s all about the art for me, darhling. I don’t have time for Twitter...” etc. etc. Even if you sign a deal with a major publisher, you are going to have to promote your book – and rightly so. It’s like a certain young Hollywood actress who claims to hate publicity and only wants to make indie movies. How many movies no one goes to see because they don’t know they exist does she think she’s going to get to make, eh?

NM: What have you learnt about writing since writing your first book?

My favourite piece of writing advice has always been “Write the book you want to read” but what I’ve learned is that while doing that’s all well and good, you need to write the book you want to read that someone else might one day want to read too. Otherwise, there’s no point. With Mousetrapped, I definitely strayed into self-indulgence in places. I was enjoying writing about a certain thing or place, and I thought, Well, I like this and this is my book, so... but you have to re-write with the end reader in mind. If you don’t, you won’t have any.

NM: What have you learnt about publishing since publishing your first book?

I’m more convinced than ever that luck plays a huge part in success, whether it be traditional or self-publication. You can certainly “prime” yourself to receive luck by doing things like writing a good book, acting professionally at all times, doing a lot of online promotion, etc. etc., but there’s no sure-fire way to sell books. You can promote a book 24/7/365 and sell 50 copies, and you can sit back and do nothing and yet sell 5,000. All you can do is strive to make luck your only variable. Do everything you can and then wait as long as you can. As I type this I’ve sold around 8,500 self-published books, but I sold less than half of them – about 3,000 – in the first year (March 2010-March 2011) and only 500 of them in the first six months (March-September 2010). The first month I sold 62 copies. But I hung on, and I kept plugging away. Then, luck came. If I’d given up a few months in, I wouldn’t have be around to receive it.

NM: What do you wish I'd asked you? Answer it...

Oh, you’re good. You’re very good. I’m going to use that one myself in future!

Well, I suppose since this is a blog tour to promote my new novel, Results Not Typical, any opportunity to plug Results Not Typical, subtly or otherwise, is fine by me, I’m going to pretend that I wished you’d asked me why I chose to write Results Not Typical, a book about an evil weight loss company.

*cough*Results Not Typical!*cough* Well, Nicola, I’m glad you asked why I wrote Results Not Typical. (!)

It’s because a) I’m still annoyed about a certain bestselling chick-lit title that had the protagonist banging on and on about “ballooning up to 10 stone”, b) I think the weight loss industry has been asking to be satirised for years and years and c) I, fortunately or unfortunately, have plenty of experience in that area, most recently with a scary cult-like organisation that forbade me from eating 99.9% of all foods and tried to convince me that decaf coffee was a worthwhile thing. I’m still overweight but, hey, I got a novel out of it, didn’t I?

Would you like to buy Catherine's book? (No, Catherine, not you, silly.)

Results Not Typical on Amazon UK is here.
Results Not Typical on Amazon US is here.

Would you like a chance to win one? If you visit Goodreads here you can enter a giveaway to win one of five paperback copies of Results Not Typical. Open for entries from September 30th-October 31st. Open to all countries.

People, if you plan to self-publish, please do read Self-Printed. And if you just want to curl up with a good piece of fiction, think Results Not Typical.

Thank you, Catherine, and good luck with all your books.

A young reader visits and wows me with awesomeness

2011-10-03T07:10:00.003+01:00

Writing for teenagers is a tough way of earning a living. Virtually impossible when you write stand-alone books like mine. Most teenagers understandably tend not to buy books, preferring to borrow them from their school library - which is FAB from a cultural, social, emotional etc point of view but from an earning-a-living point of view, not so much. (School library borrowings don't provide author income, but borrowing from a public library does.)

However, every now and then something happens which reminds me why I love teenage readers more than any other readers in the world, even if I can't earn a living from them. And when I say "teenage", I mean anyone from the age of about 11, because that's when it all kicks off. (See Blame My Brain if you want to know why.)

Recently, after a school event in Devon, one of those things happened. I had an email from an 11-year-old girl, Iseult Merlin, who had been in the audience and who hadn't been able to ask her questions. And they were the most extraordinarily deep and fascinating questions, as you will see.

Some of you are writing or hoping to write for teenagers. Some people think this must be an easy thing to do because, you may think, teenagers won't think as deeply as an adult or worry about hidden meanings or anything. How wrong could you be! I have always known how deeply they think, otherwise why would I so love writing for them?

With permission from Iseult and her mother, Lalla, I now reproduce the questions and my answers. All the questions are about Deathwatch, which Iseult says she loved.

Iseult: At the end of the story it was clear that even the ‘villain’, (the stalker) – was someone who was a victim of a past tragedy and to be pitied. Do you think most villains are really victims?

Well, I think the most interesting ones are. If we say that a villain is a victim we give him an excuse and rather than saying, "He's bad" we say "He's bad because..." What I would never want to do is say, "He's bad because...and so that's ok." I think we all have to stand up for free will and choice, though people who are very damaged by circumstances have tougher choices.

Iseult: At the end I was left feeling sorry for the old man who had done the school visit with his insects. Is it important to leave some characters without a happy resolution to their story?

I think I perhaps wanted to show what an old man might feel like in front of a whole classroom of teenagers. I also think some people don't have a happy resolution to their stories in real life and I think it's OK (but not necessary) to show that. Also, in fiction, we do tend to leave minor characters to their own devices and not tie everything up happily for them. I felt sorry for him too but he felt very real to me and I needed to think what he would really have done, more than what I wanted him to do.

Iseult: Cat’s vulnerability to her stalker is largely caused by her rebellion against her parents’ rules: she goes on ‘Phiz’ despite her parents’ ban, giving away too much information about herself; she walks home alone when they want to collect her in the car. She is saved by her athletic ability, something her parents are keen she should continue, though she has doubts. This seems to put her parents in the right and Cat in the wrong: is this intentional?

Wow! I don't know! I suppose that if Cat is in the wrong then the readers (who are on Cat's side and who are more like Cat than like her parents) will see inside their own hearts and start to put themselves in her shoes. And, of course, parents are sometimes right! Basically, though, I'm just telling the story as I feel it, rather than thinking what ought to happen.

Iseult: At the end we see that Cat is taking her future into her own hands. When she kills the spider in her room she is tackling her fears; when she decides to continue as a runner but to cut down on swimming she is shaping her own future. But many of the characters can’t do this because of mental illness – schizophrenia or gulf war syndrome. Is mental illness the real villain?

Wow again! Yes, I rather think you are right. Mental illness is an incredibly powerful hurdle or brick wall, stopping people being able to do what they want or need. And I guess that your point about Cat taking her future into her own hands is crucial - because when you have mental illness you lose control (some or all) of your own future, or it must feel like that from inside. Maybe that's the aim of the doctors caring for patients with mental illness: to give them back control.

Iseult: Most of the characters, although they seem separate at the start, are linked by an invisible web of past connections. Is this why the book has a spider theme?

[Note to my readers: NOW do you see what I mean?? Is this not brilliant??]

On on level: No! The book has a spider theme because I don't like spiders and insects and nor do lots of other people, so I thought it would be creepy and fascinating and thrilling and nasty.

On another level: there's a view that says that if a reader takes a meaning or message from a book, the meaning or message is there and valid. So, if you think that's why there's a spider theme, you are correct, because that is a meaning for you. It wasn't intentional, but the mind works in mysterious ways. And if I was as clever as you, I could easily have done it intentionally!

Remarkable questions, Iseult, and it is a total privilege for me to be able to write for you and other readers like you.

To buy Deathwatch or Blame My Brain or any of my books, please either support your nearest or favourite bookshop, or use my Amazon store here. Thank you!

Pitch your book in 25 words

2011-09-30T07:02:00.020+01:00

Next weekend I'm doing a gig at Wordstock, a festival of words organised by 26, an organisation that aims to "inspire a greater love of words, in business and in life." They call them gigs in order to play on the Woodstock/Wordstock thing but I promise I will not have a guitar with me, and I will not sing, not even a little bit.

But you have the opportunity to send a part of yourself to Wordstock with me, in my briefcase. Here's how.

My gig is about pitching your/our/a book in a few words. It's about hooks and blurbs and straplines and all manner of pithy succinctity. I will spend a bit of time demonstrating the necessary ingredients of a great hook and then we will have a shot at creating them - either from our own books or from books we know and love, or even hate.

One thing we will do is analyse some actual or imagined hooks and brainstorm what's wrong and right with them. This is where you come in: would you like to sling your hook this way and let us analyse it?

You would? Fantastic! So, give us your max-25-word hook/pitch in the comments below. Then, blog readers can comment on them and we will discuss some at Wordstock. I will report back with what we thought.

To get you started, here are some tips for hooks - tips, not rules, but do be careful about how and why you would break the rules.

Focus on the main character only
Include (with knobs on) the conflict/goal/problem
Make us care by highlighting what the MC will lose if he fails - the stakes

Over to you. Fiction, non-fiction, whatever - pitch it to us and make us desperate to read it.

THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOOK

2011-09-28T07:12:00.004+01:00

Really interested in this video on David Maybury's blog, which I came across last week. People are criticising trade publishers a lot at the moment - and I have some criticism myself - but I was inspired by the people in this video. I love their real passion for what they do. I love their knowledge and their willingness to share with each other. They are looking ahead; they are being positive, ambitious, creative, lateral, generous, wide-thinking and free-thinking.

Too often nowadays we see people from one part of publishing industry sniping at the other - authors against publishers, publishers against self-publishers, literary against commercial, commercial against literary, paper against digital, unpublished against published, "indie" against "legacy"; we even argue about the names and their relative legitimacy. But these people just love books and words and they don't allow themselves to be restricted or blinkered by notions of what a book is or what it should be, as long as it's full of great creativity.

They are thinking outside the book.

However. Let no one forget that it's an author's mind that creates the words in the book and dreams up stories that sing. And let no one forget that we don't need technogizmery to do that. All we need is time, food and heartsong, a few people round a fire to listen, and we can then create mountains in your mind and spin the blood in your heart and ripple waves of laughter that will make you forget the ink and paper or the silicone gadgetry, however beautiful and clever.

Not a snipe at all. Just asking you not to forget what writing is, and where it comes from.

[Edited to add: yesterday I was at an event where an agent talked about an editor's job as "Publishing the gleam in the author's eye." Thus spake someone else passionate about the art of the author.]

YOUR SYMPATHY IS REQUIRED

2011-09-26T07:35:00.002+01:00

I am not here. As you read this I will be relaxing by doing some school talks in Devon for the Appledore Festival. How is this relaxing, I hear you ask?

Because yesterday a very stressful thing will have happened and anything will be relaxing by comparison.

What is this thing?

My parents will have been in the audience of an event I'm doing. For the first time. Ever.

My parents.

Yes.

Thank you for your concern. Normal service will resume when I have recovered.

(Edited to add: I did it! They came! They were impressed! Everything was lovely! That deserves exclamation marks and other sparkly things!)

LISTEN WITH CRABBIT

2011-09-23T16:56:00.002+01:00

Today's Audioboos answer several questions. Badly, I confess.

First, I attempt to answer Captain's Black's vexed question about pitching a cross-genre novel. Mumbles, mumbles, gah and gah again.

And then, as if that were not enough, I attempt even more pathetically-and-yet-with-some-futile-attempt-at-authority to answer Vanessa Gebbie's question about how to use the internet without wasting time. Me? Not waste time? WHY did she ask me?

However, I then get back on track by giving a fairly uncategorical opinion for Anonymous as to whether it's sensible to pay someone to crit your work if the person hasn't published a book or had any experience of working on the editorial side of a publisher. So there.

ALL these answers are up for discussion. Comments? Help!

And more questions, please!

WEEDING OR EDITING

2011-09-22T06:59:00.003+01:00

This is adapted from a much earlier post, but that one has been lost in the tangle of brambles and ivy, and I thought it could do with an airing. Especially since I'm in the middle of a novel revision and editing is uppermost in my mind.

I guess that the possible methods for self-editing are similar to the possible methods for weeding your garden.

Go from one end to the other, picking out all the weeds carefully.
Wander about, picking out weeds as you see them.
Decide that weeds are just plants with more determination and that, since everything is equal in God's eyes, they should be allowed to remain. (Please don't take this view of the weeds in your book. Not if you want to be published and read.)

Then I decided that this analogy is rubbish and that, as with all analogies, it is aesthetically pleasing and yet practically pointless.

There are, in fact, only three things you need to think about when weeding your garden:

You need to know the difference between a weed and a plant.
And you just have to get rid of the damned weeds. Doesn't matter how - just do it.
No matter how carefully you do it, you'll find more weeds at the end, because the removal of one weed often reveals another lurking beneath.

I decided that this is not complete rubbish after all and is a pretty good analogy for editing your own work, because:

You need to know what possible errors you're looking for - the difference between a good sentence / plot structure and a crappy one, just as you need to know what's a weed and what's not.
And you just need to get rid of the errors.
And when you've got rid of one lot, another lot is revealed.
So you get rid of them.
And so on.
Until your piece of work is weed-free.

Would you like any help with the identification of weeds? I am here for you, as ever. There are two categories of weeds in your literary garden.

CATEGORY ONE WEEDS are the choking bindweedy ones, which threaten to take over your roses and throttle the life-blood from them. (There are actually many of these in my real garden and at least one in my WIP.) These must be removed early on, by the roots, otherwise your roses cannot grow and your garden, frankly, is fit only for slugs and other vermin. It is, in the words of Rab C Nesbit, pish. Examples are:

Poor characterisation - either in your MCs or your supporting acts. Do your characters always behave as they should? Does the reader like / respect/ identify with / feel for the MC? (We don't need to do all those things, but we have to care.)
Pace problems - I wrote about that here.
Tension issues - where is the tension? Is it in the right place? Is it satisfied at the right time?
Voice slippages - see here.
Major POV slippages - here you are.
Story structure / shape / arc problems - over here.
Saggy middle - hmm. I went searching for posts about saggy middles but kept finding myself mentioning them but never tackling them. This is rather the case in real life, too. I will have to tackle the saggy middle. Soon.
Crappy ending - here.
Story starting in the wrong place - gosh, I'm good to you.
And a lot more - which is not very helpful of me but I have a book to write.

To be honest, you really shouldn't have let most of these anywhere near your garden in the first place. If you are a beginner writer, your book may be littered with these horrors, but a more experienced writer will avoid almost all of them before they appear.

CATEGORY TWO WEEDS are smaller things, which all writers will find in their first drafts and which we will apply the weeding gloves to with a commendable ruthlessness. Our editors and copy-editors and proof-readers will pick up any that we didn't spot but we want to leave as little as possible for these people. It's our book, not theirs. (Also, publishers nowadays don't like to use editors etc more than they need to. Grrr.) Category Two weeds are like those dainty things that try to pretend they're real flowers. Sometimes my husband thinks they are and he leaves them. Sometimes he takes out the pretty flowers instead. He is like a novice writer when it comes to weeding, which in his case it usually doesn't, actually. Examples are:

Places where tweaks should be made to clarify characterisation / motivation / credibility.
Clunky sentences - sentences where you have clustered a collection of clauses in an ugly order, for example, making it hard for the reader to read.
Minor POV or voice slippage.
Places where thre's too much telling when showing would have been better. Extraneous adverbs.
Continuity issues - eg saying that the MC leapt onto the horse's bare back and then later mentioning the stirrups. I have done this. Oh and then there was the one [which made it through all the copy-editors and all the way into the printed book] where a girl flings open the door of a room which ten minutes before I'd said was locked on the other side...
Typos, spelling errors, punctuation etc etc. And yes, there will be some in this post. I'll find them eventually. But probably not all of them, because this is a blog post and I can change it later. So shut up, please.
Anything that doesn't sound absofrigginglutely perfect when you read it aloud, imagining that your audience consists of fidgety people who are assuming you've got nothing interesting to tell them and they're desperate to leave.

When you've done all that, there's only one more thing to do. Do it again. And possibly again.

One of the problems is that the weed you removed may have hidden roots. You will have noticed the same in books: if you change one thing, you'll find you have created knock-on effects which now have to be dealt with. So, you do have to remove weeds and plot problems by the root and make sure you've not forgotten any tendrils. I suggest keeping a notebook as you revise and jotting down things you've changed, so that you can check that you've found all the consequences. However, this is a bit methody for me and I prefer the madness approach and the constant re-reading.

And when you're quite sure that no weed is peeping up between the soil of your well-raked flower-border, then you can let an agent or publisher see it. By which time, a previously invisible seed will have begun to sprout, and what you thought was perfection won't be. That's because perfection is unattainable in writing as in gardening, and you have to get over it.

Have I answered your questions? Probably not. See, I don't really have a method. I just do it. And do it again. I honestly think once you can identify the weeds, pulling them out is not that difficult. You can choose whatever weeding method works for you: just get rid of the little buggers.

Oh, and by the way, spell-check and grammar-check are the equivalent of weed-killer: they don't let anything grow. They kill indiscriminately and remove control from the gardener. They may have their place for some people but they are not enough for anyone. Real writers use their hands.

Here's one I made earlier, with not a weed in sight. (Obviously a lot earlier, since this is September and those are not Septemberish seedlings.)

AUTHOR PLATFORMS - MY SOCIETY OF AUTHORS CONF PRESENTATION

2011-09-19T07:20:00.002+01:00

During the conference event that I mentioned here, I said I would make my powerpoint presentation available to anyone who wanted to see it. So, I include the link below.

Please note - it can't make full sense without me there to talk about it. This was just the bare bones and there was a great deal of explanation about each slide. Also, the formatting has disappeared in the transition to Google docs - and the pretty pics on my intro slide have gone!

People seemed interested - though also a bit daunted by my apparent energy, I heard afterwards. Don't be daunted - I'm a lazy cow, really. When I'm not being lazy, however, I do a lot of public-speaking and am now being approached by publishers to come and talk to their authors about platforms and author marketing. I can also do focused workshops on Twitter and blogging. If you would like your publisher to invite me to speak to you and your fellow authors, ask them to get in touch! I also love speaking at writers' conferences and have been booked to speak at the York Festival of Writing again next year.

And, if there's demand, I plan an Edinburgh event purely on platform-building, next year. Let me know, either via comments, or Twitter, whether you'd be interested.

Meanwhile, I hope this is useful to you. The link is here.

RESOURCES FOR ONLINE PLATFORM-BUILDING

2011-09-17T10:00:00.000+01:00

Today I'm speaking at the Society of Authors conference in Edinburgh. My topic is Building an Online Platform and I will first be explaining to the audience that in forty minutes it is impossible to say even a decent fraction of what they need to know, and therefore that I will be putting a small resource list on my blog.

So, here it is! It is only supposed to be a starting point for beginners and to follow on from what I will have said in my talk, but do feel free to add things in the comments.

My own resources

On this blog – on the list of "topics" (righthand menu, beneath "Latest Posts") select "Platforms and pre-publication". You'll find a load of posts there. But, for more coherence I recommend:

Write to be Published – contains info on why/how to build platform/network
and

Tweet Right – The Sensible Person’s Guide to Twitter

Blogging

Get started with Wordpress: en.wordpress.com/ (the home page has examples)

Get started with Blogger: blogger.com

How to blog (fairly technical)

Wife in the North’s Top Ten blogging tips

Authors who blog - a tiny starting point to see the variety:

Anne Rooney, Stroppy Author - provides technical info re contracts:

Talli Roland - chatty and friendly. Has built huge goodwill and following purely through being charming and lovely.

Essie Fox, the Virtual Victorian - historical novelist providing historical resource:

Jake Wallis Simons - often hilarious, a very engaging way to self-promote. Great example of what a novelist can do to create an interesting blog. But must be done well - poor humour is worse than no humour.

Jen Campbell – bookseller who got a book deal from her blog (based on the strand "Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops") but is also an aspiring fiction writer who now has an agent because of the blog.

Collaborative blogs:

teachingauthors.com/

awfullybigblogadventure.blogspot.com

the-history-girls.blogspot.com/

General platform-building tips

Business Insider - businessinsider.com/author-platform-building-checklist-2011-5

Alan Rinzler - this post includes some different aspects, such as media and public-speaking

I know my regular blog readers will come up with more useful resources. Meanwhile, as I said today, no one should ever panic about this stuff. It can seem overwhleming at first. Let your platform grow, keep it true to your own personality and allow it to adapt to circumstance. Don't try to do everything; just focus on one or two or three aspects of a platform that you feel you can manage.

But the most important thing to remember is this: it is about networking and community, not shouting about yourself. Be generous to others and people will be generous to you.

LISTEN WITH CRABBIT

2011-09-16T14:31:00.002+01:00

Unusually, a second Friday post for you, following from this morning's Litlinks. There must be a good reason for me to do something so apparently unnecessary...

Yep. I am speaking at the Society of Authors conference tomorrow and since I'm going to be haranguing people into using different media for their blogs and online presence, I thought I should follow my own advice and at least set a good example. Besides, I've never been known to pass up the chance to talk.

So, the other day, I asked you what questions you'd like me to answer and you started off with a nice selection. Please, keep them coming.

I decided that the first one I'd answer would be Clare's, with Dan's supplementary one. My answer is in two parts. First, the proper answer. And then the PS, in which I clarify a couple of points from the first one. It was all informal and unprepared, as I want to make these just like a Q&A after an event. Therefore, excuse any waffling or sidetrackedness or stumbling. Or anything, really. It's me, unplugged and unedited and off the cuff.

So, here is the main answer. And here is an important PS, because I wasn't clear about something. AND please note: When I suggest 90-100k words as something to aim for, I am talking about that as tending to be the shorter end of what you're aiming at, not the longer, because we were talking about minimums. Gah, hard to be accurate in off-the-cuff talking! Nevertheless, I think it's a lovely length for a novel.

And here, for future reference, is my very own audioboo channel. As you can see, it's a bit lonely at the moment.

Enjoy! I did - and I plan to do a lot more of this. It's a hell of a lot easier than writing.

Do ask me some more questions below.

CRABBIT'S LITLINKS 8

2011-09-16T07:02:00.001+01:00

Becky did a fab job of last Friday's Crabbit Litlinks but frankly I don't pay her enough to ask her to do it again. On the other hand, she does most of the research anyway...

But, you'll need to be quick because, exceptionally, I have another post going out later today. Watch this space!

WEIGHTY LITLINKS
Recycling titles? http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2011/sep/09/jeremy-paxman-alistair-darling

A review of children’s book trailers http://publishingperspectives.com/2011/03/ultimate-childrens-ya-book-trailers/

An agent’s view on submission responses http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/2011/09/no-youre-wrong-and-heres-why.html

What are we going to do about Amazon reviews? http://ereads.com/2011/09/the-subjectivity-of-amazon-reviewer-objectivity.html They are such a strange animal, so powerful and yet so subversive.

LIGHT LITLINKS

A really good typo http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2011/sep/12/shift-typo-romantic-novel-susan-andersen

Agatha Christie Surfing http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jul/29/agatha-christie-hercule-poirot-surfing-secret

Incredible libraries from around the world http://twistedsifter.com/2010/08/libraries-around-the-world/

A note from JD Salinger to his maid is now worth $50,000 http://flavorwire.com/209062/an-annoying-note-from-salinger-to-his-maid-could-sell-for-50k

I'll be blogging again tomorrow because I'm speaking about author platforms at the Society of Authors conference and I will have a resource list for you all. I've got events for the next three weekends so if I appear a little tired...

SOCIETY OF AUTHORS SHORT STORY TWEETATHON

2011-09-14T07:11:00.017+01:00

Something fun, inspirational, creative, useful and collaborative. As part of its campaign to save the short story format on BBC Radio 4, the Society of Authors has come up with a wonderful wheeze, and anyone on Twitter (that's anyone, right?) can join in.

Launching on 14 September 2011 for five consecutive weeks, Simon Brett, Neil Gaiman, Joanne Harris, Ian Rankin and Sarah Waters will lead a Short Story Tweetathon in which tweeters can collaborate to write a short story in 670 characters. (I think ?? the maths have gone a bit wonky there but never mind... 5 x 140 is 700; less the 5 x 9 characters occupied by #soatale and a space, and you have, by my admittedly not very reliable calculation, 655. But what are a few characters between authors?)

Here are the details.

I'll be doing it. Will you?

SOUND AND FURY

2011-09-13T07:10:00.001+01:00

Just an excuse to quote from my favourite play really, as there's no fury whatsoever in this post. Sorry to disappoint you.

No, just that I'm going all trendy and starting to do some Audioboo thingummies. If you don't know what an audioboo recording sounds like, click here to hear me talk briefly - briefly because Audioboo doesn't let you do anything other than briefly - about Write to be Published.

Anyway, I did not bring you here today to force you to listen to my voice. No, I thought that a five minute audio thingy might be an ideal way for me to answer your questions. Just like a Q&A at the end of a talk, except one question at a time, posed by YOU, the glorious readers.

So, in the comments below - what questions would you like me to answer? Writing-related, please. *frowns sternly*

READY TO BE PUBLISHED?

2011-09-12T07:06:00.004+01:00

Yesterday, I did a workshoppish eventish thing for aspiring writers at the Stirling Off the Page festival and I promised that I'd put something from it up here. I'd created a list of questions that I think writers need to ask themselves to assess their readiness for publication. And here it is!

If you find the questions hard to answer, that suggests you and your book are not yet ready for publication.

How ready are you for publication?

Your genre and your readers – knowing your book
1. How well do you know your readers? What books do they read? Name three books. (You should be able to do this immediately, without struggling.)
2. Do you read and love the books your readers like? Are you an expert in your genre?
3. Why do they read? (Eg: Pure pleasure/escapism? To be challenged? To have their thoughts provoked? To learn? To identify?)
4. What do they want in a book? (Eg: Happy ending? To be scared? Action? Reflection?)
5. What would be your dream review comment?
6. On a scale of 1-10, how closely does your book match that expectation? Are you good enough yet?
7. Is your book more commercial or literary? How realistically can you place your book on that continuum? Are you comfortable with its position? (This is about how well you understand your market and how committed you are to this writing.)

Ingredients - fiction
8. In a sentence, what is your MC’s main problem/goal and what will happen if he fails?
9. Do you think that is enough? Are the stakes high enough? (Different genres have different requirements in this respect.)
10. If your MC is asleep right now, what will be his first thought on waking? (This indicates how well you know him/her and how deeply in your head he is.)
11. Have you thought about and worked at voice, pace and pov? Are they appropriate for genre? (If you haven't thought about these or feel uncertain, Write to be Published has much to help you.)

Ingredients – non-fiction
12. What are the competing books?
13. How is yours different?
14. Who needs your book? (Define your readers.)
15. Have you matched the voice/tone to that need? Have you written what those readers need and want?

Research and submission
16. Have you started to research publishers and agents?
17. Are you reading blogs/books about how to become published?
18. Are you networking or at least prepared to? (You may need to buy Tweet Right! £2.74 on Kindle or the free Kindle app for laptops etc.)

General
19. If it became obvious that this book won’t be published, what would you do? (If you would give up, then you don't have the right mindset for a published writer. You should be writing your next book while submitting the first - no agent or publisher wants or will take a one-book-wonder.)

Do those questions make sense? Have they challenged you or provoked you to aim higher or work harder, or to be patient? Do they daunt you or inspire you?

I'd love to know!

Most interesting question from the audience: "How do you tweet while drying your hair?"

EASY.

DISAPPEARING SIDEBAR INFO....

2011-09-10T14:23:00.005+01:00

IMPORTANT note to all new arrivals here: Blogger has eaten my sidebar info and spewed it all at the bottom of the blog. Go down there and you'll see my other info, Facebook, Twitter, book covers etc etc, as well as recent posts, topics/labels and my favourite writing blogs.
This is REALLY bad timing as I have events coming up and always like to send new writers and readers over here. If anyone knows what the problem is, please tell me!

Edited to add: PROBLEM SOLVED - thank you!

OLA!

2011-09-10T12:27:00.000+01:00

Apologies for my absence over the last ten days and thanks to wonderful Becky for taking over and replying to comments. And for her great Crabbit Litlinks on Friday. Where was I? On holiday. In Spain.

Do I have some souvenirs? Oh yes. A very sharp knife and a narrow escape from a sinister landlady.

Anyway, please bear with me while I rush to prepare and deliver a few weeks of many speaking events around the UK. In fact, the first event is tomorrow, Sunday 11th Sept, when I'm speaking to aspiring writers in Stirling, and my plan is to ask them to write down some questions they'd like me to answer on this blog. And then I will spend the next couple of weeks bringing you answers, in my usual obliging way.

Meanwhile, I must get back to therapy as I try to expunge the memory of glaring eyes, howling wolves, a lethal and treacherous road with only two precipices, locked gates, barred windows, the entire absence of a single other guest, and a refusal to provide milk with the coffee. Or plates with lunch. Or lunch.

Meanwhile, if anyone can tell me what the dish which appeared on a menu in English as "Muffed in green souce" could possibly be, please comment below.

(I hasten to add that we loved Spain and had a fab time. And will return. But not to the strange hotel with the scary lady.)

CRABBIT'S LITLINKS 7

2011-09-09T07:10:00.058+01:00

Crabbit's Friday Litlinks are brought to you by Becky Hearne, my wonderful assistant, otherwise known on Twitter as @Bookshop_becky.

Over to you, Becky!

Becky dons the Crabbit hat and her best pair of shoes. Looks around with a hint of nervousness.

WEIGHTY LITLINKS

1. An argument against agent-publishers (by an agent). I tend to agree with him, but on the other hand, I have heard of some authors now requesting their agents to consider it. (Publishing Perspectives)

2. French publishers are launching a campaign to help indie booksellers, on the basis that indies promote debut authors. As someone who used to work in an indie, I'm glad that the publishers are acknowledging that bestselling "word-of-mouth" books often begin their journey with an independent bookseller. (The Bookseller)

3. "No, we shouldn't just Google it": sales of reference books are declining year-on-year, which isn't surprising considering the first stop for most people now is a search engine. Do you still own a dictionary? I do, and I wouldn't give it away, but I have to confess I don't use it often. (The Independent)

4. I heartily disagree with the beginning assumption in this article, but it's interesting nonetheless. Author Wendy McClure began the Twitter account @HalfPintIngalls for a bit of fun when she was toying with the idea of writing about Laura Ingalls Wilder: "I didn't want to turn HalfPint into advertising for the book, but working on Twitter really helped me...to gauge the way people responded to her". It's yet another example of how Twitter is useful for authors, provided you don't view it as a blanket advertising tool. (npr.com)

5. I'm going to take this opportunity whilst Nicola's away from her desk (and left me in charge of the blog, mwhaha), to put up this link. Wasted has been shortlisted for the Scottish Children's Book Award 2011, which is fabulous news. Congratulations, Nicola! The video in the link is Nicola talking about Wasted, and reading a section.

LIGHT LITLINKS

1. Have a look at this fascinating online exhibition: "In the early 1920s, noteworthy visitors to Frank Shay's bookshop at 4 Christopher Street [Greenwich Village] began autographing the narrow door that opened onto the shop's office....This exhibition reconstructs the bookshop and its community...Artifacts gathered from across the Ransom Center's collections provide audiences with documentation of the shop's operations and the lives and careers of its customers." (via the The New York Times)

2. I'd never seen this video before: Kurt Vonnegurt explaining the shapes of stories with a chalkboard. I'm fairly certain writing is more complicated than he suggests, but it's very entertaining. I especially like the 10 seconds he spends saying BORING whilst drawing a vertical line downwards. (kottke.org)

3. Geoff Dyer writes about how he treats his books. How do you treat yours? I tend to drop mine in the bath by accident. (The New York Times)

MRS DARCY VISITS, BRINGING ALIENS

2011-09-07T07:22:00.000+01:00

Today, my blog has been invaded by aliens, barely controlled by Jonathan Pinnock. I tried to tell him that this was no666tonbutarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhh...

YOU WILL LET THE MAN SPEAK, MRS MORGAN

"Yes. I will." *eyes wobble alarmingly*

Over to Jonathan.

MRS DARCY VERSUS THE ALIENS

On page 246 of Nicola’s excellent book, Write to be Published, (you have all got a copy, haven’t you?), she makes a very flattering reference to me being a rare case of someone who’d managed to get a book deal after posting instalments of my book online. I was particularly pleased to be used as an example because I’m a long-time reader of this excellent blog, [NM bows] and I thought it might be nice to repay the compliment by telling you how it actually happened.

Towards the end of 2009 I had a problem. I was around 10,000 words into a high-concept novel (Mrs Darcy versus the Aliens) that I’d been writing on and off for two years and I had a sickening feeling that if I ever did manage to motivate myself to finish the thing it would never get published. The main problem was that when I’d originally dreamt the book up, back in 2007, the concept of a sequel to Pride and Prejudice with added aliens was pretty radical. However, after that zombie book (I’m sorry, but I can’t bring myself to name it) [NM – you’ll be glad to know that I actually haven’t a clue what you’re talking about] came out in early 2009, what I was writing now looked like a wannabe bandwagon-jumper.

You may ask why I’d only written 10,000 words in those two years. First, I had very little idea how to write a novel and took ages to get going. More importantly, the arrival of TZB [NM – The Zombie Butler? Birdbath? Bathysphere? Bob?] had dampened my enthusiasm to the point where it was lying, sodden, in the gutter of my dreams. Worse, the word on the street was that publishers were, several months on from TZB, no longer interested in mash-ups. The bandwagon had left town.

The trouble was, I still liked those 10,000 words. More importantly, so did my writer friends, who kept badgering me to write some more. Time to take radical action. Why not serialize the thing? That way I could see if it really would find an audience. Not only would that give me a reason to continue writing it, but it might just provide a publisher with enough evidence to take it on.

I decided on 100 bi-weekly blog posts, plus prologue and epilogue, which gave me two spare days in case of disaster if I ran it over a year. My 10K words gave me two and a half months in the can, so I could at least run it for that long to see if it was going to fly.

Unbelievably, it worked, and in November 2010 I signed a contract with Proxima Books, with Salt Publishing (Proxima’s parent) committing to it being a lead title for 2011!

However, before you all leap to the conclusion that the answer to all your publishing prayers is to stick your WIP online, I offer a few words of caution, if only because Nicola will shout at me otherwise. [NM – I was just getting ready to do that.] Quite right too: generally speaking, this isn’t a remotely advisable thing to do.

So why did it work for me? Here are some contributory factors: none sufficient, but all necessary.

1) Writing: OK, I’ll put aside false modesty for a moment and claim that it was actually pretty well written.

2) Structure: the story broke down well into easily-digestible 600-700 word chunks, with plenty of gags in each one and a punchline or cliffhanger at the end. This suited my way of writing – by nature I’m a short story writer and this was the first time I’d ever coaxed a narrative beyond 3000 words.

3) Marketing: I already had a reasonable social networking footprint on Twitter, Facebook, my own blog and various writing forums and I used these aggressively (although I hope not annoyingly) to promote the serialisation. I also spent a long time doing the rounds of other blogs, pestering them to feature it. I also produced a couple of very silly YouTube promo videos that (ahem) proved to be a bit of a talking point. It was a question of trying anything I could think of, and it was a LOT of work.

So would it have found a publisher if I hadn’t done this? No idea. Would I have finished it? That’s a more interesting question, and I think the answer is: unlikely. In the end, the most important thing about serialising my first novel was that complete strangers ended up wanting me to keep writing it. So would I do it again? Almost certainly not. But never say never, eh?

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention. It’s out now. Do get yourselves a copy. I think you might enjoy it.

Sorry, I think Nicola has disappeared. I'm sure she'll be back.