tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post7076226705410041789..comments2024-03-28T06:16:39.508+00:00Comments on Help! I Need a Publisher!: TOP TIP 2: VARY SENTENCE STRUCTURENicola Morganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12189894289540344094noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-75044916325611886452010-07-27T09:52:29.010+01:002010-07-27T09:52:29.010+01:00Great tip as always. Its obvious when someone poi...Great tip as always. Its obvious when someone points it out. Trouble is, it doesn't matter how many times I read through ms it could always be better. When is enough enough?<br /><br />Many thanks!Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02758415454874392017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-8228994505148323432010-07-24T22:21:57.789+01:002010-07-24T22:21:57.789+01:00I believe you - so easy to do! I only pointed it o...I believe you - so easy to do! I only pointed it out because the other meaning of sentence made it too funny to waste :-)Stroppy Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16560035800075465845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-42768248947381055202010-07-23T13:40:32.775+01:002010-07-23T13:40:32.775+01:00Stroppy - bugger! Believe it or not, I spotted thi...Stroppy - bugger! Believe it or not, I spotted this yesterday but couldn't get to it at the time to change it and then when I got to my desk I forgot. <br /><br />Basic error. Hands up!Nicola Morganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12189894289540344094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-86932909366224702652010-07-23T12:23:57.312+01:002010-07-23T12:23:57.312+01:00(Concurrent sentences are something criminals get ...(Concurrent sentences are something criminals get if they haven't been so totally, awfully bad they get consecutive ones. I think you mean consecutive sentences in this case :-)Stroppy Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16560035800075465845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-13554885401799829382010-07-22T08:44:26.903+01:002010-07-22T08:44:26.903+01:00Whirlochre - it's a structure that shouldn'...Whirlochre - it's a structure that shouldn't be over-used, that's all. And you should use it far, far less than the subject+verb one. But really, this is my point: vary your sentence structure. Make it read smoothly but not monotonously.<br /><br />The other reason (more important one) that beginning with a participle in that way is something to be cautious about, is that sometimes itNicola Morganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12189894289540344094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-54330301632075548412010-07-22T00:08:31.101+01:002010-07-22T00:08:31.101+01:00Isn't the "Adjusting..." thing simpl...Isn't the "Adjusting..." thing simply another bugaboo?<br /><br />Or am I just quoting Tina Charles lyrics?Whirlochrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846196906206886945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-48988714495136777842010-07-21T22:49:47.286+01:002010-07-21T22:49:47.286+01:00Wow, that's good advice, I hadn't even tho...Wow, that's good advice, I hadn't even thought of that. I think I'll just go an do some more editing.<br />Thank you.penandpaintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17273388732451042663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-71699244830997827602010-07-21T17:40:24.740+01:002010-07-21T17:40:24.740+01:00Anne - of course, this is a revising / self-editin...Anne - of course, this is a revising / self-editing issue. On the other hand, once new writers are aware of it they will tend to incorporate it as they go, perhaps subconsciously. You are not a new writer!! Also, it's perfectly reasonable, as I think you suggest, to write the first draft without thinking about such things, but in the editing porcess it's really important.<br /><br />Eric Nicola Morganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12189894289540344094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-11002518700324803772010-07-21T17:25:56.502+01:002010-07-21T17:25:56.502+01:00Write the same way you post, and you'll natura...Write the same way you post, and you'll naturally vary your sentence structure.<br /><br />If you don't believe me, read through the comments on any blog you follow. The responders subconsciously vary their sentence structure because they are "talking" rather than "writing."<br /><br /> - EricEric W. Tranthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13842968931062056407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-41386826568729587222010-07-21T12:57:06.229+01:002010-07-21T12:57:06.229+01:00I never think about any of this when I'm writi...I never think about any of this when I'm writing. The story is the key. the characters are crucial. What happens next? is my main question. If I thought about this I would been paralysed in my telling of the story.<br />Afterwards, when it's written and I redraft then i might look at these repetitions. But I never think in terms of grammatical constructs. That way lies distraction.Anne Cassidynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-52858194484088034392010-07-21T06:43:49.341+01:002010-07-21T06:43:49.341+01:00Neat advice. :-)Neat advice. :-)David John Griffinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01524610087056533062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-28831802481898329712010-07-20T21:50:10.385+01:002010-07-20T21:50:10.385+01:00Excellent advice!Excellent advice!Alleged Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869021184116123477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-377114977488487132010-07-20T20:55:07.284+01:002010-07-20T20:55:07.284+01:00Mark - rapped knuckles! (Now don't get all exc...Mark - rapped knuckles! (Now don't get all excited - I mean in the metaphorical sense...)<br /><br />Miriam - good point. Any over-repeated structure is lazy/boring/wrong.<br /><br />Wicked Lady - I agree, but my preferred (imaginary) audience is an audience which doesn't want to be there because there's a party down the street....Nicola Morganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12189894289540344094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-7119097351869985692010-07-20T20:49:12.895+01:002010-07-20T20:49:12.895+01:00Reading aloud is absolutely the best way to detect...Reading aloud is absolutely the best way to detect all sorts of dull sentences, POV shifts, non-sequiturs, and repetitive words and phrases. It always astonishes me when I read aloud a passage I've revised nineteen times and find stupid things I should have exised eighteen revisions ago. <br /><br />An audience isn't necessary: just read aloud to the goldfish or the wall. You'll The Wicked Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16114586285637847773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-53201367215344684712010-07-20T20:23:28.916+01:002010-07-20T20:23:28.916+01:00I have a feeling this is one of the (many) things ...I have a feeling this is one of the (many) things I do wrong, but I hadn't really thought about it before. Thanks for such a clear post which will make me much more aware of it in future.<br /><br />(Now on my third attempt at getting the word verification right. Wish me luck.)HelenMWaltershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16182100572365505905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-53319725244556840282010-07-20T20:22:43.264+01:002010-07-20T20:22:43.264+01:00Excellent advice! I do this a lot in my first draf...Excellent advice! I do this a lot in my first draft - luckily, once you're aware of it, it's easy to fix.K M Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09801740095715755112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-92075543585864882542010-07-20T19:42:32.745+01:002010-07-20T19:42:32.745+01:00A great tip! I've also read books with too man...A great tip! I've also read books with too many participles. "Running through the twilight, Loretta called his name. Breathing in painful gasps, her hair plastered to her sweaty forehead, she struggled to move her tired legs..." As you say, it's best to vary the sentence structure.Miriam Drorihttp://andewallscametumblindown.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-2155647621660206412010-07-20T18:59:51.252+01:002010-07-20T18:59:51.252+01:00Great tip. Took me a while to get it as I was thin...Great tip. Took me a while to get it as I was thinking about Loretta soaked through, the clinging silk hugging her womanly form...MmmmmmmmMark Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11183394221961369630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-63134230454791594552010-07-20T18:39:32.874+01:002010-07-20T18:39:32.874+01:00I do this too. I've been reading Anne Mini...I do this too. I've been reading Anne Mini's blog <i>Author! Author!</i> and she advised the same thing. I found when searching for overused conjunctions that a lot of my sentences had "Subject Verb and verb" construction, like "She took the paper to the table and sat down. She read it slowly and sipped her coffee. The door opened and someone came in." Gah!<br /><Elizabeth Westhttp://aelizabethwest.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-14817146620920827612010-07-20T18:04:19.317+01:002010-07-20T18:04:19.317+01:00Another excellent tip! I definitely find there ar...Another excellent tip! I definitely find there are certain words and structures I over-use without realising, especially when I'm 'in the flow', so when I read through with my editor's head on, I keep an eye open for them and hack 'em out!GentlewomanThiefhttp://gentlewomanthief.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2488887316391780144.post-21193018096136556622010-07-20T17:55:40.798+01:002010-07-20T17:55:40.798+01:00This is something I have to work on when revising....This is something I have to work on when revising. My first draft is littered with almost nothing but Subject Verb sentences. <br /><br />thanks for posting! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12294516011395206412noreply@blogger.com