Seriously, folks, I bring you this video to make a very important point. Well, two.
- Being a writer is a horribly competitive and often publicly humiliating occupation. No wonder we are flaky. Seriously, there are a hell of a lot of books published and most of them don't get noticed. Be prepared for this.
- If you ever see an author sitting at a table with a pathetic or non-existent queue, please, please, please increase the pathetic queue and go and talk to
meher. I promise you that the author will love you for ever and a day.
- Get friends involved. Make them turn up as fake fans if necessary.
- Insist that your publisher and the shop do some promotion beforehand.
- Be brave - smile, sing, hand out sweets, cry, tap-dance.
- Insist that your publisher sends a publicity person or, if that's not possible (as it usually isn't), get someone to act the part. You need support.
- If you are ever in a dual signing with anyone else, I have one tip for you: have free postcards or bookmarks or something with you because as soon as readers see something free, they will queue at your table too.
- Realise that this situation happens to everyone at some point. And it's bloody horrible.