Covering letters / query letters / submission letters

*waves to the audience at my Belfast Lit Festival event this evening*

For anyone approaching writing a submission letter for an agent or publisher, here is some basic advice, in advance of my forthcoming book, Dear Agent (scheduled for August 10th and published by the one and only Crabbit Publishing - me).

A new blog baby: Jen Campbell, "Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops"

A blog baby is a writer who got a book deal or agent deal while following my blog, and who believes that the blog helped. I'm very proud to be the blog mother of lovely Jen Campbell, author of the new Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops. Jen says, "Your blog was very helpful when submitting to agents. You are a lady of wonderful knowledge! All writers should listen, and listen carefully." *bows proudly*


And I am interviewing Jen here today. Her publisher, Constable, has generously offered a free copy to one of you. All you need to do is comment below and one name will be picked randomly. Deadline Thursday 12th, 5pm GMT. 

About the book

"Can books conduct electricity?" "My children are just climbing your bookshelves: that's ok... isn't it?" A John Cleese Twitter question ["What is your pet peeve?"], first sparked the Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor. From "Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?" to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from "I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter" to "Excuse me... is this book edible?" This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top 'Weird Things' from bookshops around the world.

A huge welcome and mahoosive congratulations to Jen Campbell! Jen grew up in the north-east of England, graduated from Edinburgh University and now lives in London where she works in an antiquarian bookshop. She’s a published poet and short story writer.

NM: I know you work in an antiquarian bookshop now but when you worked in a general bookshop, what was the most annoying sort of author behaviour, the sort that would stop you wanting to stock the book?

JC: Most authors are perfectly well behaved and lovely [yourself included!]. There have been occasions where authors move their stock so it’s facing out on the shelf or on the display table, but that’s harmless. This happened once:  

customer: You don’t have a very good selection of books.

bookseller: We’ve got over ten thousand books.

customer: Well, you don’t have the book I’ve written! (storms out) 

There have been authors who leave a copy of their book, or post a copy of their book, to the shop and then call up a couple of days later to ask if the bookseller has read it and if they liked it. I completely understand that writers want feedback (we thrive on it!), but pestering is never good.

Basically, be a nice person. Be understanding. Be considerate - this will get you so much further than being pushy. And, as much as we booksellers like chocolate and wine, you don’t need to bribe us with those, either [though a part of me wishes this weren’t true].

NM: Publishers are the ones who are supposed to get books into shops. Do you think there's a genuine role for authors in that respect? What sort of things would you advise authors to do when they go into a bookshop?

JC: Hmmm. I’m torn here. I think it’s up to the individual author and how they feel about that. Personally, if I went into a bookshop and they didn’t stock my book, I wouldn’t go up to a bookseller and tell them that they should be stocking it. I don’t know if that’s right or wrong; I just know that I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it. Booksellers are obviously always looking out for new and exciting things to stock, but to have the author him/herself telling you that their book is amazing is not the same as lots of other unbiased people telling you that. I’d rather promote my book via my blog etc a way that doesn’t force people to listen, and then hopefully more people will stumble across it, read it, talk about it and in turn more bookshops would hear about it and stock it, too.

NM: “to have the author him/herself telling you that their book is amazing is not the same as lots of other unbiased people telling you that” – oh, hear hear! And this is the problem that self-published authors have: you need a credible judgement by someone else.

What do you think authors and customers most misunderstand about the business of book-selling?

JC: Hmmm. Let me demonstrate this through the mode of quotes:
1. customer: Have you read every single book in here?

bookseller: No, I can’t say I have.

customer: Well you’re not very good at your job, are you? 

2. customer: If I give you these three paperbacks, will you sell them and give the money to charity?

bookseller: We’re not a charity bookshop.

customer: Oh. Where does your money go to?

bookseller: . . . It goes into keeping us in business. 

We all love a bargain, but I think that a lot of things have happened in the publishing industry to make people think that books are things that should be cheap. It’s easy to forget how many people have to be paid for one book: the writer, agents, editors, marketing people, designers, proof readers, wholesalers, bookshops. Those bookshops in turn have to pay rent, business rates, their staff... the list just goes on.

I think we all know [because it makes sense] that if we don’t shop in bookshops then bookshops will close, but it seems [as with a lot of other things] we’re waiting for other people to rush to the rescue. That isn’t going to happen. If we want to keep bookshops then we have to support them. Otherwise we’ll all be like the Waterstones’ apostrophe - looking for a new job in a sausage factory.

NM: Entirely agree with all that. Fably put.

So, are you looking forward to going into bookshops, finding your book there and agonising about whether to pluck up courage to speak to the bookseller? What will your opening words be? Or will you run away, as I usually do?

JC: Well, if the book wasn’t there then I would run away. However, if it was there, I’d probably also run away. Ha! I am looking forward [a lot!] to seeing the book in bookshops [eek!]. I’ve also got a few events lined up to talk about ‘Weird Things...’ and sign some books: I’ll be at The Edinburgh Bookshop on the 10th April 5:30-6:30, and I’ll be at Blackwell’s in Oxford on the 17th April, all day as a writer in residence, with an event in the evening where I’ll be talking about ‘Weird Things...’ and also reading some of my poetry (an interesting combination, there!). I’m very much looking forward to those.

NM: What has most surprised you about the process of becoming published? What has been the hardest part? The nicest?

JC: This is a tough one! The nicest part was probably seeing the book in the flesh for the first time. I can’t really describe that feeling. It was amazing. I have to say probably the most surprising thing about getting published was... getting published! Being a writer is all I’ve ever wanted to do [apart from a brief period when I was five and I was convinced I wanted to be a lollipop lady], and I’ve dreamt about it for so long that it doesn’t quite seem real yet. Also, ‘Weird Things...’ wasn’t initially a book idea, so the fact that it became a book was also a lovely surprise. At the time, I’d just got myself an agent because of my fiction, and we were busy discussing that when I was approached about writing ‘Weird Things...’.
 The hardest part is not to do with ‘Weird Things...’ in particular but relates to the whole of becoming published/being a writer and that’s the hard slog - all the work you put in before any of this happens: editing your work, trying to make your writing better, believing in yourself and holding on to the possibility of getting a publishing deal. Now that I have one book deal, I have to make sure that I work even harder. 

NM: What is your favourite Weird Thing?

JC: Ah, that changes all the time. But here are three for now: 

1. customer: Do you have any books on star signs?

bookseller: Yes, our esoteric section is over here.

customer: Good, thanks. It’s just I really need to check mine – I have this overwhelming feeling that something bad is going to happen. 

2. customer: Do you have a book that has a list of aphrodisiacs? I’ve got a date on Friday. 

3. customer: What’s your name?bookseller: Jen.
customer: Hmmm. I don’t like that name. Is it ok if I call you something else?

Thanks, Jen! It's a lovely book and will definitely make people laugh. It would make a fab gift. Shame it's not Christmas but I'm sure your publisher will still be pushing it then! And I adore the cover. 


[Edited to add - AND I'm mentioned in it, in one of the quotes! I hasten to add that it wasn't me being weird, but a customer referring to my book, Write to be Published. Which is not, in itself, a weird thing to refer to, except that in that case it was a weird comment.]

Don't forget, people: comment to win a copy. If you're picked, I'll contact you for your address to give to the publisher. And I'll announce the winner on Twitter.

Links:

http://jen-campbell.blogspot.com

www.twitter.com/aeroplanegirl

www.facebook.com/weirdthingscustomerssayinbookshops

The Simple Guide to Caring for an Author

It really is simple. Organising a festival or other event is not simple but looking after your author(s) is. Simple it may be, but important it absolutely is. It makes the difference between us being able to perform with energy, passion and positivity, or us collapsing at the end in a quivering, possibly furious, heap.

My simple guide
1. Pay us. Please. We don't have salaries or wages; we've taken a lot of time to prepare, to travel, to wait for the event; we are also experts in our field. Whether this is the first time we've done a talk or the five hundredth, we are an expert about the book or topic you've asked us to talk about. We are also adults; we pay taxes and bills. And most authors are not at all well paid. Occasionally, for reasons of our own, we might do something for nothing: but you must NEVER expect it, and never ever ever cover up your inability to pay with phrases such as: "Our budgets have been cut," "Other authors are doing it for nothing," "It's a good cause," or - the worst - "It will be great for your profile."

2. Make space for us. There should be a room where authors/speakers can go before and after the talk, a place where we can leave our coats, go to the bathroom, and escape from the audience afterwards. (I recently spent two hours between events dodging desperate questions from aspiring writers from my first talk of the day, who simply wouldn't let me sit, eat, drink or breathe. Some were delightful and apologetic; I wanted to help them all; I couldn't - my blood sugar was plummeting and no one noticed.)

3. Feed and water us. No, we don't need champagne and smoked salmon - though obviously I wouldn't spit it out. Just offer us something, anything. Please.

4. Plan the time-table properly. With gaps.

5. Give us a few moments peace before we do our talk. However relaxed we might be or seem, we still need those moments to clear our heads, breathe a few times, and remember what we are going to say. Do not bring a local dignitary to meet us at that point. Or a photographer.

6. INTRODUCE US. It's hard to explain the difference between having someone say a few glowing words that we couldn't say about ourselves, and having to introduce ourselves to a bemused audience. Recently, I was introduced as, among other things, "She's been shortlisted for a few things." Well, actually, I've won a few things but I couldn't say so, could I? It means that the audience ends up never knowing - except that on this occasion, a fellow-author who was speaking after me was generous enough to put the record straight.

7. At the end, wind up the questions and thank us, saying something nice if you can possibly bring yourself to do so. Not long ago, an organiser had told me she didn't have any spare staff to do intros or thanks. As it turned out, she was actually IN my audience, but still didn't find it in herself to say anything at all to me, either privately or publicly. Now, I happen to know that the event had been a good one, because many in the audience contacted me afterwards, and because you can tell from people's faces, but that young woman sat there and said nothing. Nor did she mention either thanks or praise in any of the emails I had to deal with from her afterwards, which were mostly about invoices and expenses.

8. Do not deduct tax from our invoice. If you do that to me (and I specifically state on my invoice that I am registered self-employed) I will a) charge you a £75 admin fee and b) send a swarm of especially nippy wasps to your garden and ask them to stay there until the tax has been refunded.

9. Be prepared. The better prepared you are, the better the event will be. This is not just about the author but about the whole audience. So, think ahead and discuss with the author in advance - but try to avoid reams of disjointed email correspondence. A simple question, "What do you need?" goes a long way. Trust me: the answer will be reasonable. Very few of us are actually prima donnas; we are simply trying to create the conditions that will allow us to deliver a brilliant event for you.

10. Be sensitive. All writers are different. Some are nervous and look nervous; others look calm but are churning inside. Err on the side of caution and just be nice to us. You don't have to fuss, you don't have to jump to attention, you don't have to treat us with kid gloves. Just try to imagine that you are doing what we're doing: about to face a strange audience for an hour, for an event which is really important to our careers. We're on our own, we're vulnerable, we are the ones who will suffer if it all goes horribly wrong.

11. If in doubt just ask. Honestly, most of us are lovely. Despite my crabbitness above, I think I'm as lovely as possible, too. I only get crabbit when people get so much wrong and make all my hard work a) harder and b) unappreciated.

Random points:

• Photos -  if you are having a photographer, schedule this so it's not immediately before the event. Or during, as has happened to me on several occasions in school events - by which I mean that the photographer arrived mid-event and I had to stop in the middle of my favourite story about surgery without anaesthetic...
• Recording - do not do this without asking and do not spring it on us at the last minute. Discuss in advance. I will not let a full event be recorded but I don't mind extracts, as long as I see them first.
• Book-selling - never expect the author to do this herself. This has happened to me before, once at a well-known book festival to which I will never go again. (That isn't the only reason.) 

It has to be said that most events are well organised and most organisers that I've come across are dedicated, fantastic, kind and thoughtful. Unfortunately, it's the others that sometimes stick painfully in my mind.

Yesterday, Danuta Kean blogged about this very effectively. A load of us have been discussing the whole issue and we want to set the record straight. If you know anyone organising any kind of author event, do send them our way.

Thank you. You've been a lovely audience.

How much promotion is too much?

I was asked this on Twitter the other day. The reason the conversation arose is that a successful writer has been bugging the pants off people on Twitter. (Please, if you know who I mean, do NOT identify him on my blog. I have no desire at all to embarrass the poor chap. Besides, I hear there are more than one bug... Erm, person who bugs.)

Poor chap? Hang on! His book has done fantabulously well, so surely his bugging-people-on-Twitter strategy worked? Why should he feel any embarrassment?

Let me tackle this, before I move on to talk about how much promotion is too much.

First, we have no idea at all whether the bugging strategy worked. We have no idea if it was even a strategy. For all I know, he was just being over-excited. Importantly, we also have no idea whether he'd have sold as many or even more if he hadn't bugged pants off people.

BUT he has sold stacks and stacks of copies, so he really shouldn't care if he's annoyed anyone, should he?

Well, here I come to my second point: it depends whether he (or any writer who crosses invisible lines) minds what people think. And that is entirely up to the individual; everyone's skin is of a different thickness. So, I will not say he or anyone "shouldn't" have crossed the lines he crossed. I will not say he should be embarrassed.

But I would be.

And this is at least part of my main point, moving on to the wider question. "How much promotion is too much" depends both on you, the writer, and on you, the reader.

Everything is a judgement call. Every blog post, every tweet, every Facebook status update, every email to a festival organiser pitching an event. Every time you tell a personal friend about your latest short-listing, every time you say "me" or "my book", every video trailer, every pile of postcards you order from Vistaprint. Every quote you add to your email signature; every new review you put on your website. All of it, every single time, is a judgement call.

But how do we make that judgement? Are there any objective measures? What things turn people off? Well, probably not exactly objective but there seem to be some general lines that a decent number of people would agree on. Let me tell you what my own guidelines are. They are the lines which I try not to cross and the crossing of which by others bugs the pants off me, to the extent that I'm highly unlikely to buy their books or want to help them in any way. (Like anyone, I may occasionally get over-excited and accidentally put my toe over a line - I would then try to pull it back immediately.) They are the guidelines which I sense many others follow and approve. You don't have to follow these guidelines  - you have to find what's comfortable for you.

So, here are my guidelines:

DO

1. Give far more than you ask for. In other words, if your blog/FB timeline/Twitter feed is mostly giving people information, support, or entertainment without asking anything, it is fine if you sometimes plug your own work or ask your readers, colleagues and friends or "followers" to consider doing something for you. (Bearing in mind other points below.)
2. I've heard a 90% rule given - 90% of your online activity should be giving, and then you can use the other 10% for blagging. (Bearing in mind the points below.) I've also heard a 60/40 rule from marketing professionals, but I definitely prefer the 90/10 one, which is for mere humans.
3. Be generous in your praise of others. Be nice. And if you can't be nice, be silent.
4. When you ask people to do something (such as read a blog post or click a link or buy your book) do so generally and openly, not individually or privately. (See below.) If you make it general and don't address your message to anyone specific, you make it easy for people to ignore it, which is as it should be.

DON'T

1. Ask a stranger or slight acquaintance to do ANYTHING for you. (This is where complaints came in.) Not even the smallest thing. Not even to retweet your tweet. So, on Twitter, never send a DM (private message) to someone who is not genuinely a good friend to ask them to do even the smallest thing. Even to do something you think is fun. (Someone said, "But surely you wouldn't mind if I DM'd you to ask you to do something you'd enjoy?" Only I can be the judge of what I would enjoy. You don't know me, so don't assume.)
2. (Don't) Forget that no one loves your book as much as you do.
3. (Don't) Forget that there are eleventy million other books for people to buy.
4. (Don't) Assume that all your friends will buy your book. They can't all afford to and they can't afford to buy all their friends' books, especially if they are writers, because writers have many friends who are writers.
5. (Don't) Ask people to review your book, except as a very general and light request. I'm cautious about doing this at all, as I think it can sound needy, but I will occasionally in a very careful and tentative way. Also, again very occasionally, if someone privately tells me they absolutely loved one of my books, I might cautiously ask if they might possibly have time to write a quick recommendation on Amazon (or something) but I would also make it very clear that I absolutely wouldn't mind if they didn't. I will make it easy for them not to.

I think it all boils down to three things:

1. Don't do what you don't like others to do.
2. Give far more than you expect to receive.
3. Never ask even a tiny favour of someone who you don't feel is actually your friend. Especially if that person is busy.

As I say, these are my guidelines, which I recommend to you. I admit that I might sell more books if I crossed more lines, but I would be uncomfortable. I'd rather have my modest sales but feel reasonably comfortable that most people are not being totally bugged by me. I hope! (NB I'm sure, logically, that I've pissed some people off: it would be pretty hard never to cross anyone's lines. But I carefully watch out for what annoys me in others - and I do have a fairly low tolerance - and actively try to avoid doing the same. It's all any of us can do.)

What about Facebook (your Author page, not your personal FB profile) and your own website?
Ah, now this is where you can do much more. People come to your FB page or your website to find out about you. They expect to find links to reviews, newspaper articles, videos of you, or news of awards and short listings. So, putting those items as prominently as you like in those places is absolutely fine, though I would never advocate cockiness or boasting. Saying, "I've been shortlisted for such-and-such" is not the same as saying, "I'm a totally fabulous famous author. Kiss my feet, losers." The point that makes your FB author page or your website a place where you can play by different rules is the element of choice that the visitor has in coming there and why they came: to see you and find out what you've done.

I stressed that I'm talking about the FB Author Page, not your personal page. This is a matter of opinion, but I know that I and many writers and readers who I respect don't like their social space overwhelmed by promotional updates. So, my advice is to keep your "normal" FB page social, soft, supportive, and to do your promotional stuff on your Author page. It doesn't matter if it sometimes overlaps, but I really think the 90/10 rule is best applied to social networks. I think it's fine to post links to your blog sometimes though, as long as that's not all you do. Just don't do the "Ooh, look how freaking successful I am!" thing. Apart from anything else, there are a lots more writers amongst your friends who are feeling very vulnerable and you just trod all over them. They won't thank you.

Back to Twitter, where this began: personally, I think the writer who was being discussed has used Twitter very successfully. Good on him. But I don't like using Twitter. I like enjoying it. Therefore, I can't in all honesty recommend the bugging-the-pants-off-people approach. Even if it works for him. 

What do you think? Do those guidelines make sense? What else bugs you? Or what doesn't?

PS I can't tell you what I'm doing today, because that would be blatant self-promotion. I may casually drop it into conversation on Twitter and hope people will notice. Mind you, if I actually WIN the thing... No, shhh, woman. You just crossed a line. Or did I? What do you think?

How to be professional

I often exhort aspiring writers to "be professional" and someone recently pointed out that I have never actually explained what that means. Which is not very professional of me as a professional advice-giver.

Writing may be a passion, but if we want to be published it is also a job. We must intend to earn money from it and we must therefore enter our profession and our industry with certain behaviours in mind.

So, when people like me ask writers to be professional in their approach, here's what we want you to think about.

• Take steps to become informed - we don't have exams, but there is a great deal of knowledge to acquire. So, get clued up. Read blogs and books, make friends with people in the writing world, attend conferences, anything to ensure that you have the best level of knowledge possible before you submit your work. That way, you won't accidentally reveal horrible ignorance.

• Present your work with decorum. The submission should be presented properly, neatly, carefully, with enormous attention to detail. Otherwise, it's like arriving at an interview in your scruffiest clothes and with egg on your t-shirt.

• Don't make any of the newbie submission errors - if you did, this would only show that you haven't obeyed my first point. There's masses of advice about submissions in Write to be Published.

• Show respect to those who know more than you - other published writers, agents and editors who know what they are doing. You're unpublished - this doesn't mean I'm a better writer than you but it does mean you know less than I do about being published, and being published is what you're trying to be.

• Don't slag off the industry or any individuals in it. Yes, you can have an opinion and yes, you could be right, but be very cautious of who might see your vituperativeness and, more importantly, what this might say about you. You might be wrong, you see, or your newness to the business might mean you've missed an important point.

• Be prepared to work very hard at making your book as good as it can be - and all the future books you are going to write. Show that you fully understand the work ahead.

• Be prepared to accept guidance, criticism and editorial direction.

• When relaxing on Twitter, be aware that you are still in public. You are allowed to have fun - in fact, who wants to work with someone who can't have fun? - but if you behave like a nasty or foolish person, you reveal yourself as a nasty or foolish person, and no one wants to work with a nasty or foolish person. Instead, behave decently to others, offering praise, joining conversations and not being a total divot.

• Do what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it. If you've said you'll deliver something by December 1st, do it. If you feel you're not going to make it, give lots of warning and explain very simply that you would like to deliver it by [insert date when you are sure you can do it.] Be efficient and strategic, showing that you value deadlines and can manage your working life.

• Don't be over-friendly too soon. In email or phone conversations with potential agents or publishers, be friendly, of course, but don't over-do it. They are busy. Take your cue from them. Don't gush or flutter or go overboard with the LOLs (in fact, please don't use LOL at all). Read their body language. You are not their new best friend. Wait until you actually are their friend before you get too chatty.

• Seem in control of your life. Writers can, like anyone, be very disorganised and can have enormously distracting things happening in their lives. The art is to give the impression - always - that despite any of this you can still do your work. Writers often need to continue writing when children are ill or elderly parents being demanding or many domestic crises are going on. No one else can do your writing for you and you have to look as though you know this and can rise above everything. You need to show this in your off-duty behaviour on Twitter, Facebook or your blog, as well.

• Always wear a suit when preparing your submission. If you wear pyjamas, they will see. :)

You may wonder how exactly you are supposed to demonstrate all these things. Professionalism is something which you don't always have to show explicitly - if you believe all these points, you will follow them implicitly and your professionalism will shine through your behaviour, the calm smile on your face, and the strength of your handshake.

The two most likely places for you to demonstrate professionalism are a) in your submission and b) on your blog, if you have one. Don't ask an agent or editor to go and look at your blog but do include the address subtly in your letter/email. Then they can visit if they wish and they most likely will if they are interested in you. There, they need to see you behaving like a real writer-in-the-making, someone who is all set to be a wonderful, professional author.That doesn't mean you have to be po-faced or that you can't let your hair down occasionally, but it does mean that your blog must be well-written and worth reading for all the right reasons.

Once you've made your mark, you can cross some lines and mess around if you wish. because it is possible to be professional AND fun-loving and highly creative. Professionalism is just a suit we wear.

AUTHOR PLATFORMS - MY SOCIETY OF AUTHORS CONF PRESENTATION

During the conference event that I mentioned here, I said I would make my powerpoint presentation available to anyone who wanted to see it. So, I include the link below.

Please note - it can't make full sense without me there to talk about it. This was just the bare bones and there was a great deal of explanation about each slide. Also, the formatting has disappeared in the transition to Google docs - and the pretty pics on my intro slide have gone!

People seemed interested - though also a bit daunted by my apparent energy, I heard afterwards. Don't be daunted - I'm a lazy cow, really. When I'm not being lazy, however, I do a lot of public-speaking and am now being approached by publishers to come and talk to their authors about platforms and author marketing. I can also do focused workshops on Twitter and blogging. If you would like your publisher to invite me to speak to you and your fellow authors, ask them to get in touch! I also love speaking at writers' conferences and have been booked to speak at the York Festival of Writing again next year.

And, if there's demand, I plan an Edinburgh event purely on platform-building, next year. Let me know, either via comments, or Twitter, whether you'd be interested.

Meanwhile, I hope this is useful to you. The link is here.

THE WRITE PERSONALITY - and AN EVENT FOR YOU

Our writing and our journey towards our writing goals must inevitably be wrapped up in who we are. As we try to become published and then stay published, we focus, rightly, on the words and the book we're writing. But, in many ways, our personalities shape all that, too. We can't avoid it.

So, what personality traits are needed to hack it as a writer?

I wasn't thinking about this much until I came across this rather fascinating article by editor Victoria Mixon. Of course, she doesn't mean to delineate these as truly separate personality types, but they do contain different traits which are varyingly helpful or not towards our success and equilibrium.

One sentence stood out for me: "The publishing industry is nobody's mommy." Oh, how very true. I just heard of two friends being dropped by their publishers this week. Successful, talented, award-winning, but not writing the books their publishers want any more. So, there's another personality type you need to develop: the Versatile Opportunist.

I blogged here about the need for writers to diversify and be practical, not to have all our eggs in one basket, and I've now been invited to speak about this. If you're interested, it's free and you'd be most welcome to come. 

Weegie Wednesday - August 11th - 7.30pm onwards

Glasgow - venue details from me

Weegie Wednesday is a monthly event in a bar, where writers - unpublished or published - and others connected to publishing gather to chat and listen to a couple of speakers over plenty of wine. It's free but you buy your own drinks. I'm hoping someone might buy one for me... If you're interested - in coming, not in buying me a drink! - drop me an email at n@nicolamorgan.co.uk and I'll let you know the venue. I hope to meet you there.

Meanwhile, be opportunistic, be versatile, be realistic, be professional - but please don't lose the heart and soul of your writing.

ARE YOU REALLY READY FOR THIS?

I bring you this video and challenge you not to laugh. Actually, I pretty much cried, and not with laughter. I have so been here - well, not in the Waldenbooks, but in other bookshops, one reasons why I don't do bookshop signings if I can possibly help it. I especially related to the bit where he's with Mary Higgins Clark.




Seriously, folks, I bring you this video to make a very important point. Well, two.

1. Being a writer is a horribly competitive and often publicly humiliating occupation. No wonder we are flaky. Seriously, there are a hell of a lot of books published and most of them don't get noticed. Be prepared for this.
2. If you ever see an author sitting at a table with a pathetic or non-existent queue, please, please, please increase the pathetic queue and go and talk to me her. I promise you that the author will love you for ever and a day.

If you're ever doing a signing, here's my advice:

1. Get friends involved. Make them turn up as fake fans if necessary.
2. Insist that your publisher and the shop do some promotion beforehand. 
3. Be brave - smile, sing, hand out sweets, cry, tap-dance.
4. Insist that your publisher sends a publicity person or, if that's not possible (as it usually isn't), get someone to act the part. You need support. 
5. If you are ever in a dual signing with anyone else, I have one tip for you: have free postcards or bookmarks or something with you because as soon as readers see something free, they will queue at your table too.
6. Realise that this situation happens to everyone at some point. And it's bloody horrible.

 Good luck!

GOOD AUTHOR BEHAVIOUR: RESPONDING TO NEGATIVE FEEDBACK

No one actually likes negative feedback. "I welcome your feedback" is usually said through gritted teeth and with a sinking feeling. But the mark of our stature is how we respond to it.

Responding well does not necessarily mean following the negative feedback to the letter. It doesn't necessarily mean changing anything. Responding well involves:

1. accepting that someone did not relate to or enjoy your book;
2. working out whether that person's view is one which should give us cause for changing anything. For example, if this is feedback before publication, and if you asked for that feedback trusting the person's view, if you now don't accept it you should wonder why you asked for a view. Or, if this is a review or comment after publication, again, decide whether perhaps the person has a point, whether he/she was indeed the intended reader, or not, or whether perhaps this has given you an important insight into something you'd like to do better or differently next time;
3. accepting that you won't please everyone and that some people are simply not meant to enjoy your work;
4. not bloody well reacting negatively, at least in public. That is known technically as #authorfail.

If you want to tread into utterly exemplary author behaviour, consider doing what Alex Scarrow has just done. When he came across the opinion of Catherine Hughes (follower of this blog, reader extraordinaire of eleventymillion books and person who I would like to like my books), in which she said she hadn't yet managed to get into Alex's TimeRiders, and was discussing what makes us give up on books, Alex actually left the most gracious comment. So gracious was he, and so impressed were the other blog-commenters, that he has almost certainly scored himself a few more readers. I was tempted to paste his comment here, but I really would like you to read C's blog and the comments thereunder.

Impressed?

My personal taste in books makes me not the likely ideal reader for TimeRiders, but I know plenty of people who are. So, I'm going to buy the book, and have a sneaky peek before giving it to a friend who I think will like it. So, that's one more sale.

Now, unless Alex is a very strange person indeed, the moment when he saw that Catherine had not immediately been hooked by his book cannot have been the best moment of his year so far. However, I think you will agree that whatever he felt, discretion won over vitriol and his response was absolutely the best one he could possibly have given.

As you know, I write reports for people through my Pen2Publication service. Over the almost three months since it started, I've written some reports that must have been really hard for the recipient to read. (I should stress that I've also had the opportunity, and taken it, to write glowingly, too!) It is to the credit of all the writers that their responses have been impeccable and gracious, in every case. I have had writers thank me for pointing out the problems, and going away with enthusiasm to re-write their oeuvres in the confident belief that the criticism was constructive. I only take clients who I believe really do want the truth.

Maybe, when Catherine tells Alex what it was that failed to engage her (which she has promised to do, once she's had another shot!), he will choose to do something a little differently next time. Maybe he will at least feel her eyes looking over his shoulder when he redrafts. Or, maybe, he will take the view, "win some, lose some." It looks to me that his books are fabulously successful and that he can afford to "lose some".

On the other hand, he won some amongst Catherine's blog readers. And he may do here, too.

Meanwhile, for your delectation, a most relevant video.

ANDREW CROFTS - THE GHOST SPEAKS

You may have noticed that I've never had a guest post on this blog. I guard my territory jealously, you see. But I know what I don't know, and one thing I don't know about (but am fascinated by) is ghost-writing. So, imagine my pleasure and surprise when the UK's most famous ghost-writer walked through my walls recently and tapped me on the shoulder. After I'd regained my equilibrium and stopped shivering, Andrew Crofts and I got communicating entirely without the use of a ouija board, and he very kindly agreed to share his knowledge AND answer your (sensible) questions.

First, a bit about the man behind the ghost:
Andrew Crofts is one of the country's leading ghostwriters. He has ghosted over 80 books in the last 20 years, a dozen of which have been Sunday Times number one bestsellers. He is also the author of "The Freelance Writer's Handbook", (Piatkus), and "Ghostwriting", (A&C Black). The latter was quoted extensively by Robert Harris in his recent thriller "The Ghost", which has just been filmed by Roman Polanski with Ewan McGregor playing the ghost.

Andrew is currently writing a series of inter-related novels for Blake Publishing about modern fame and the price it exerts on those who pursue it. The first in the series was "The Overnight Fame of Steffi McBride", to be followed early next year by "The Fabulous Dreams of Maggie de Beer".

Rather than do a full-scale interview, I decided just to focus on four things, aspects which I thought you might like to hear about.

ME: You had a background in business writing before you had your first ghosting commission  -  do you think it would be possible for an unproven / unpublished writer, however competent, to become a ghost-writer? And do you have some basic advice for how to go about building a platform from which to get that first contract? Maybe you could also say what specific skills a ghost-writer needs as opposed to another sort of writer. (I don't ask much, do I?)

ANDREW:

"I think any writer could learn how to ghost if they felt the role would suit them.

"From the day I left school I was doing any kind of freelance writing I could get, including business writing, women's magazines, fiction, the lot. The best way to start ghosting is to find someone who you think has a book in their head or their filing cabinet and then offer to write it for them and take it to publishers and agents on their behalf.

"You could start small. If, for instance, you know of someone who runs a particularly successful local garden centre you could suggest that they do a book on plant care. You then produce a synopsis, explaining what would be in the book and why they would be a good person to write it, (and maybe persuade them to agree to sell the book through their outlets). You then head off to the publishers with it. If that doesn't work there is always the possibility of self-publishing it for them.

"Once you have one or two books under your belt you can approach publishers and agents and tell them that you are a ghost and that you are looking for commissions.

"It will not happen overnight, but with perseverance it will eventually work.You could also start out by offering your services as an editor and then gradually take on bigger and bigger briefs until you are eventually writing the entire books.

"To be a successful ghost you need to be totally non-confrontational, endlessly patient and willing to get no glory at all. Imagine how you would behave if you were Barack Obama's speech writer; most of the same rules would apply."

ME: You are well known as being incredibly proactive on the marketing and platform-building front  -  is this something you happened to be good at or did you have to work at it at first? What were you starting points or skills / advantages that you built on?

ANDREW:

"I find marketing very interesting, (I used to write a lot for publications like Marketing Week).

"Imagine you are a skilled carpenter. You decide to spend a year creating a truly wonderful piece of furniture, an absolute masterpiece. All through the year you are starving, begging and borrowing just to stay alive long enough to finish your masterpiece. At the end of the year you are thousands of pounds in debt, which means you are going to have to charge a fortune for this one piece in order to recoup your finances. What if no one wants to pay that much? What if no one wants to buy it at all?

"So many writers take exactly that approach to their careers. They produce the beautiful novel that they want to write, and then wonder why no one else wants to pay them the going rate for the time they have invested.

"Supposing that you, the carpenter, took a different approach. Suppose you went round asking people what they would like you to do for them? Would they like a coffee table that will take you just a few days to make? How about a new front door, or a garden bench? Maybe they would like a complete fitted kitchen? That is marketing, as opposed to selling, and it is exactly the same approach that authors need to take if they want to make a living from their craft.

"Ask the publishers, (or anyone else you can think of), what they need and then provide it for them.

"Once you have a regular income you can then schedule in a bit of time to create your beloved masterpiece, and you will at least have made a few potential contacts when the time comes to try to sell it."

ME: And now you are writing your own fiction. The Overnight Fame of Steffi McBride was published in 2008 and the Fabulous Dreams of Maggie de Beer is out early in 2010. Tell us how this came about  -  something you'd wanted to do for a long time or something that came to you one day? And tell us what sort of a writing journey that has been.

ANDREW:

"Every so often over the years I have had an idea for a novel which I have found irresistible.

"My current obsession is with instant fame. I have worked a lot with celebrities and with people connected to television shows like Big Brother, The X-Factor, EastEnders and Richard and Judy. I also have a daughter who is an actress. I find the whole idea of mass-media celebrity fascinating.

"I also wanted to write something that the actress daughter, (Olivia Grodd), could use as a showcase on YouTube. So I created the character of Steffi McBride, a young girl who almost accidentally becomes the nation's darling in a soap opera, only to have her life ripped apart by media revelations about her past.

"One of the revelations is that her mother is not who she thinks she is. Her real mother, (Maggie de Beer), is a show girl/vice girl/ page three girl from the seventies who sold her soul, (and gave up her child), in exchange for a shot at being famous. Maggie's story consequently followed Steffi's in a prequel coming out next year.

"Olivia made the video and appeared on the cover of Steffi McBride, which garnered us a few more column inches, and her younger sister, Jess Crofts, is now appearing on the cover of the prequel. 

"A few years ago I wrote "Maisie's Amazing Maids" which was a book with a ghostwriter as the central protagonist. Because I could talk about ghosting I was able to promote the book far more widely than you usually can with fiction, (chatting to Mariella Frostrup on Radio 4, that sort of thing)."

ME: Again, you're marketing the fiction incredibly proactively  -  and using your daughter's talents along the way! How is this marketing different from what you've done before? 

"This marketing campaign has really been an extension of what I have been doing all along. The idea is always to get a book talked and written about as much as possible in order to draw it to the attention of as many people as possible in the hope that they will be tempted to buy it.

"When I am selling the concept for a ghosted book to a publisher I have to use all the same marketing techniques.

"It took me a very long time, for instance, to persuade publishers that the public would actually like to read stories about children overcoming adversity, (the sort of books that are now taken for granted and dismissed by the very grand as "misery memoirs"). Each time a new story came along I had to go the rounds yet again, sometimes with an agent, sometimes without, trying to convince publishers that my subjects had a worthwhile story to tell. The marketing process always involved writing powerful synopses/selling documents.

"Thankfully, once you have had a few number one bestsellers, people become more willing to listen."

Andrew, that was fascinating, thank you!

OK, class, let me give you my observations about what Andrew said, and then hand over to you for comments and questions.

1. You will notice that Andrew has worked incredibly hard at all this. He has had to have not only writing talent and skills, but also determination, energy, intuition, adaptability, and (crucially) a very clever combination of confidence and yet absence of arrogance. He has learnt along the way, by listening and tuning in to what publishers want. And has in doing so carved out a very successful space in the writing world. This has not fallen into his lap.
   
2. The marketing has not become less as he has had more books published  -  this is an author who (very like me) loves and values his books enough to want to put every possible effort into their success. He has not expected people to do things for him.
   
3. Why did he write these novels? Because he's hugely interested in and fascinated by the topic. He used the word "irresistible". But he has also picked something which others may find irresistible too, because he's tuned into what people want. That's an essential combination and one which we'd all do well to remember.
   
4. Doesn't this sound like a man who loves his job?
5. What you don't know is how quickly, efficiently and helpfully Andrew sent in his answers to my questions. The point being: efficiency and professionalism impress. And impressing people with your efficiency and professionalism is always valuable. Not that I'm paying him anything...
   
6. Don't you just love this line? "Thankfully, once you have had a few number one bestsellers, people become more willing to listen." What can I say?!
   

On behalf of everyone, thank you so much, Andrew, for calling by. I'm now off to add Steffi McB to my wishlist.

Questions? Comments? Or are you all off to haunt someone?


(Andrew does have a fulsome website on ghost-writing and aspects of his own work, so I ask you to visit it before asking something, as we don't want to waste his time with things he's already said.) 

WHAT TO EXPECT AROUND PUBLICATION

Let's get positive today. Imagine you're about to be published  -  hooray! I see the frisson of excitement rippling across your face. You can't stop grinning!

Of course, you'll grin when it happens. You may well do some leaping too, but ideally in the privacy of your garret, since an author leaping is not usually a pretty sight. But what else can and should you expect on P-Day? Specifically, what should you expect from your publishers?

This post was prompted by a question in the comments after Networks and Platforms  -  Must I? David Griffin asked about advance copies and who was responsible for these, author or publisher? That's a simplish question (answered below) but it leads to other issues about expectations. 

So, what should an author expect? That is not to say that this will always happen, but you should expect it, with details and extent depending on the nature of your book and publisher. And how useful the activity would be. (Not how much you'd love it to happen...) 

Important things to get into your head:

1. Publishers want to sell as many copies as possible. Obviously. They have borne all the cost and they want to recoup it, quickly and fully, and more than fully. So do you. You are both on the same side. Never forget that, even in the dark moments when you wonder what the hell they're doing. (Note to lovely Walker Books: of course, I have never wondered that in your case.)
   
2. That does not mean that money will be thrown around. Nor should it be. Every book has a marketing budget. That budget may be zero. A zero budget does not mean zero publicity / promotion, however. Also, some things must be done regardless of marketing budget. (Advance copies being one).
3. The budget and effort expended will relate to a judgement about how useful that spend will be for THIS book. It will be pointless to chuck masses of dosh at a TV campaign which your potential readers won't see. Yes, it will make you feel glorious, but that feeling will soon fade when you sell no books and your publisher makes a loss and stops liking you. 
   
4. You must work with your publisher. Take a look at some of the stuff I did around the publication of Deathwatch in June this year. (There are also two posts above and one below that one, but that gives you a reasonable idea.) I worked my butt off, broke a world record, made two videos (myself, at zero cost, though using a fab screensaver which my publishers made in-house), sold loads of copies and generated goodwill. I nearly died. Everyone was happy because we squeezed every ounce of value from the budget and we worked together perfectly. This is not always easy  -  it requires tact and respect, on both sides. I am lucky. But I worked. Boy, did I work ... Chocolate supplies in Scotland dipped that month.
5. You don't ask what the budget IS  -  you ask what it will allow. "Do we have a budget for...?" And if we don't, go back in your box and think of something cheaper. Cheaper is not less good.
   
6. Marketing costs money, but publicity and promotion need not. Clever people don't need lots of money to sell something. So, don't measure your potential success by the size of your marketing budget.

 What's the minimum you should expect  -  and ask for if it doesn't seem to be there?

1. A structured plan. My main publisher, Walker Books, sends every author, at least six months before publication, an outline of what will happen at each stage. One of these stages allows the author to meet the marketing team. (If it's a very "small" book, say part of a publisher series rather than an author series or stand-alone, this won't happen. But you should still be able to be involved.) If you have an agent, make sure he/she is there at the meeting and has seen the plan.
   
2. A request from your publisher for you to provide relevant info  -  list of contacts, ideas, things you feel happy doing (eg talks)
   
3. Six-three months before pub date, your publisher should decide the details of promotional activity. Eg, lists of newspapers, magazines, events. At this point, contribute your ideas (tactfully ...)
4. The publisher will provide, at their cost, a certain number of copies of the book to send to potential reviewers and booksellers. These will be Advance Reader Copies (ARCs). They may be "proof" copies  -  ie not the real version but a cheaper one, usually with a plainer cover, and not proof-read. But proof copies are expensive and don't always cover their costs  -  if yours is a book that hard-pressed reviewers are unlikely to choose to read, for example. So, publishers may produce a version more like an MS (so, a pile of A4 sheets vaguely bound  -  I hate this. I have done a lot of reviewing for the Guardian newspaper and I only once chose to review a book sent in this format  -  it's just not compelling when you've got 200 beautiful books to choose from). Or the publisher may simply order lots of real copies of the book extra early  -  my publishers ordered hundreds about 6 weeks before publication. These advance copies can be used when appropriate and costs tailored to demand. As to how many  -  it depends how many they can use. A hundred to a thousand. In answer to David J Griffin's question about this, wonderful Lynn Price helpfully replied with the US perspective:
   
   

   David, any trade publisher - small fry like me, or large like Random House - sends out about 100 - 200 ARCs (Advance Reader Copy) to reviewers, bookstore managers, and media.
   
   Any publisher over here in the US who says the author must do this is more than likely a Print On Demand company. ARCs are an upfront expense that PODs can't risk because trade magazines won't review them.
   

   NB: What you should absolutely NOT expect is your publisher to ask how many copies you plan to buy  -  see the excellent recent Writer Beware post here. You may buy them at author discount, and you may give those away, but a) you should never be encouraged to and b) you should never, ever, ever, be asked to sell them. That is not your job (though, by agreement with your publishers, you may choose to. I think I need to do another post about selling author copies  -  it's not simple...).
   
   
   
   
5. The publisher will send them out, at their cost. Whatever the size of your publisher, it's worth asking to see the list of who has received advances. And add to it  -  you give the publisher the names, they send them out. Obviously, you can't just use this to get your friends free copies  -  this is all solely to generate sales. Remember that. Be canny.
   
6. The publisher should work hard to get you any relevant media coverage. But be realistic  -  is your book important enough as a story? It's not enough that you've written a great book  -  what's the story behind it? An example I've used (often...) is the story of a school helping me promote or write a book. Think about it: AUTHOR WRITES BOOK is not a news story, but AUTHOR TRUSTS KIDS WITH BOOK LAUNCH is. 
7. You should also expect inclusion in the publisher catalogue for that season/month/whatever.
8. And a press release to go out with review copies. (I strongly recommend that you ask, very tactfully, to see this and perhaps have some input. You are unlikely to be shown it otherwise, and it will have been written by someone who very possibly hasn't read the book... I have seen some terrible, truly terrible press releases. (Not you, lovely Walker Books  -  don't be paranoid!)
   
9. Events  -  again, this will depend on your book and you, but the publisher should make an effort to get some "gigs". Any help you can give will be crucial. Events will probably be local, at first. Your publisher should, where possible, pay travel expenses for these peri-publicational events  -  but you will need to ask. And they may not be able to, or offer you fewer gigs if they see you'll need expenses  -  so, think about what you can do yourself at minimum cost. At the very least, they should organise all the book-selling (including supply) at these events.

Things you can't take for granted but could discuss:

1. Marketing materials  -  expensive and not always well-used. Posters, for example  -  where are you going to put them? Children's and teenage authors like me can use posters very well, as schools love to paper decaying library walls with them. But other authors may not use them well. Bookmarks  -  again, expensive and not always going to generate sales. (Consider getting your own postcards or small cards / stickers made with a cheap on-line company such as vistaprint.)
2. A launch party? Not necessarily. Again, they don't usually convert into enough sales, though they make authors happy. You'd be surprised how many launches are organised by the author, though with support from the publisher. Organise it yourself and ask for a publisher contribution.
   

In your dreams:

1. Flowers, sparkly wine, chocolate? Dream on! Of course this sometimes happens. A card signed by the whole team is one of the loveliest things to get on pub day, and is quite normal. But don't be offended if it doesn't happen.
2. Anything expensive if it's not likely to translate into sufficient sales. Be realistic. It may sound reasonable to say, "But the more you do, the more books we'll sell." Yes, but a) that doesn't mean that the more money you spend the more likely you are to recoup costs and b) the publisher has other authors and other books and you are not the only fish in the sea.

(For your interest, but at a slight tangent, blogger and author, Caroline Dunford, blogged here at the weekend about her very recent launch and publication. It is an eye-opener for those of you who are dreaming of your launch and signing! A great insight into the mind and emotions of each of us in this position.)

Also, do take a look at this vg post from the BookEnds literary agency. 

In short: all writers have to promote their work, and knowing what to expect from publishers is the important first step. It's not just debut writers: if you want to know how enormously successful writer, Andrew Crofts, goes about working with his publishers to sell as many books as possible, come back on Oct 16th, because I have an interview with him. Andrew is the UK's top ghost-writer, with many huge best-sellers  -  being known at all as a ghost-writer speaks volumes for his success on the platform-building front! He contacted me recently and introduced himself. By chance, I'd been wanting to do a post about ghost-writing (not something I know about, though it fascinates me) and wouldn't have had the courage to contact him, but there he was, contacting me and saying nice things (fortunately). In his interview he gives fascinating advice about the business of being a writer and talks about his move from ghosting into his own fiction. If you think that getting that elusive first deal is the end of the story, mountain climbed, sigh of relief time, you're in for a surprise... 

Andrew's interview is going out on Friday 16th, 8pm UK time. Can't be earlier as I'm away doing more talks again and my train doesn't get back till then. I don't want to miss your comments and questions for Andrew. Join us there, and if you have any questions, he's most kindly agreed to answer them ...

TWITTERING IS NOT JUST FOR BIRDS

It would be possible (though not for me) to write a book about Twitter. However, it would be pointless, because it changes so fast. There's also plenty of help on the internet, so I'll just select salient points from an author's perspective. I am a fairly new Twitterer, or at least newly converted to its value, and I am sure there are other ways to use it. But I don't want Twitter to take over your life or mine  -  remember, we are artistes, dahlings, not birds; and our real writing must come first.

I know from your comments on my post about blogging that many of you are sceptical about Twitter anyway. I won't evangelise about it, just tell you why I like it and how I do it.

If you haven't read my recent post about whether and why authors need platforms, please do. And the one on blogging was part of the same trio of posts on author pre-, post- and peri-publicationary marketing. (Yes, I did just invent that word, but you are welcome to use it if you can get your tongue around it.)

WHY TWITTER?

It's free, fast, instant, and doesn't have to be time-consuming. It's perfect for the self-employed who want to keep up-to-date with what's going on in their industry, who want to make contact with people of similar interests, and who want to raise their "platform".

Your experience of Twitter will be determined largely by the people you choose to "follow". If you follow 500 people who tweet boringly 50 times a day, you will see hundreds of mind-numbingly dull tweets and gain nothing. If you select people who have interesting things to say and who come up with useful links, thoughts and blog posts (which they link to), you'll have a great time, make contacts and learn loads.

SOME STARTING THOUGHTS:

1. If you don't use Twitter, your life will continue unabated. By avoiding Twitter, you are not condemning yourself to obscurity.
   
2. Twitter is a tool to make contacts and keep up with what's going on in your chosen areas, but it is not the only tool. There is no rule that says authors must Twitter.
3. I find it very useful, fun, and not at all time-consuming. It is much less time-consuming than blogging, and is in some ways easier. (Yes, and completely different.)
   
4. You can do it just on your computer or also on your mobile. Doing it by mobile/cell-phone certainly opens up more use for you, but obviously it depends on your tariff and internet allowance. I use an iphone which makes it stupendously easy, but then the iphone makes life stupendously easy ...
   

FACEBOOK OR TWITTER?

If you use Facebook, you may wonder why you need Twitter. I use Facebook purely socially, for fun and friends. I use Twitter for professional reasons. It's part of my working day. A small but important part. You can link Facebook to Twitter, though I don't because it can be annoying for FB friends who have chosen not to be involved in Twitter.

Think of a dog. Facebook is the equivalent of a dog lying on its back by the fire being scratched between the ears and luxuriating at the end of a hard day's squirrel-chasing. Twitter is the equivalent of a dog going for a quick walk and sniffing at absolutely everything to see what's been going on in the neighbourhood since its last walk. Twitter, one might say, is about pissing and sniffing. Apologies for that but I can't think of a better way to put it.

TWITTER BASICS  -  really basics (skip this if you already know what Twitter is):

• People follow you and you follow people.
• If you follow someone, you automatically see their "tweets". (A tweet is a message, up to 140 characters long). Twitter consists of nothing but tweets. 
• Tweets can contain links and pictures. These are formatted in a special tweety way.
  
• People who follow you see all your tweets.
• If you follow someone, you and that person can also send each other Direct Messages (DMs). No one else can see a DM. (I hope...) No one can send you a DM if you aren't following that person.
  
• Unlike Facebook, anyone can follow you without your permission. (Though you can block people.)
• Twitter is very quick to access  -  much quicker than sending an email. You can choose to have it on in the background while you're working, or just access it when you want. There are various Twitter platforms or "clients" to choose from, and I'll speak about one (Tweetdeck) below.
• Spambots (robots) have invaded Twitter; so, some people who follow you will be trying to sell things  - don't follow them back. Block them.
  

HOW TO START and how to continue

• go to www.twitter.com and sign up. It's free and you can change your profile later.
• you'll see an option saying "find people"  -  one option is for Twitter to trawl your email address book. It will come up with all your contacts who are on Twitter.
• you're started!
• you choose which of those names to follow; then you can find who they follow, and follow them in turn
• on your Twitter page, explore the small number of options on the right  -  particularly the one where it says @your name  -  here you can choose to see all tweets with your name in  -  there won't be any yet because you've just started, but there soon will be!
  
• now, consider choosing a better "client" than the basic Twitter page. There are many but the one I use is Tweetdeck, which I explain a bit about below. Those of you who prefer something else, tell us about it.

The wonderful Bubblecow people (Gary and Caroline Smailes) have fantastic advice about Twitter for authors and they know much more than I do. Also, if you follow them (look for @BubbleCow) you'll instantly be able to tap into other excellent Twitterers. A lot of my own followers came after @BubbleCow linked to a blog post of mine.

Here are three of their most relevant posts:
For very clear instructions for beginners
For advanced instructions on everything to do with Twitter (and other things)
For other info, go to their blog and use the search box at bottom right. But please come back.

TWEETDECK  - www.tweetdeck.com

• this allows you to use Twitter more easily and fruitfully than the basic page. It has columns, which you can add or remove. The ones I have are the default ones: "All friends"  -  tweets from everyone I follow; "Mentions"  -  any tweet that mentions my username, because when someone uses your name in a tweet they want you to see it, and it's how someone I don't follow can get my attention (because they can't DM me); and DMs. There's also "Twitter recommends" but I deleted that because I don't care what Twitter recommends.
• I have Tweetdeck open most of the time in the background on my computer but with the sound turned off, otherwise you get a stupid birdsound every time a tweet appears. There's an iphone Tweetdeck App, which is free and I like it, though no doubt someone will tell me about a better one and then my life will be perfect.
  
• Tweetdeck also (automatically on the new version, by request on the old version) shortens any URL so that it only uses a few characters  -  important since many tweets contain links to webpages and links which would make the tweet too long. (I am sure other clients do this too).
  

OTHER LESS BASIC BASICS

• when you first sign up to Twitter, you will wonder why you did. Most first tweets say, "Well, here I am. Now what? Arghhhhhh!!!!"
• so, it's all about getting some people to follow and to follow you. Take your time. Once you are following someone, you can go to that profile and see who they're following  -  and follow them too. As soon as you follow someone, their tweets will appear on your home page. On Tweetdeck, they'll appear in the "All friends" column
  
• think about what sort of things you're going to say. I do not say "good morning all" as a tweet  -  some people do ... Gah. I like it when people have a healthy mix of fun/personal tweets and useful links to relevant sites or bits of writing/book-related news. As well as interesting individuals, I also follow things like the Bookseller, Bookbrunch and Book2book, and people like Scott Pack (@meandmybigmouth). I follow lots of you, too. If you're on Twitter and I'm not already following you, let me know your @name and I will, unless you're incredibly annoying or boring or try to sell me things.

HOW TO ANNOY ME (AND OTHERS)

That previous point brings me to publishers who Twitter. Publishers and publicists who Twitter need to be careful. So does anyone else trying to sell things. Especially to me. It brings out the most crabbit in me. (You should hear me when someone phones me trying to sell something.) On Twitter, I get completely sick of people who do nothing other than tell me how wonderful they or their clients are. I have stopped following people for that reason, and am very much less likely to buy their books. If you are going to occupy even a few seconds in my Twitter-life, I want you at least some of the time to interest me, amuse me, entertain me, or inform me in a way I need or want.

Although tweeting is like standing on a street corner and shouting, it is worth remembering that a) there are a lot of people standing there shouting too, so why would I hear you? and b) people standing and shouting tend to get eggs and things thrown at them. I would be the person throwing eggs.

THE CRUCIAL @SIGN
@  -  the @ immediately before a username (no space after the sign) means that that person will see your message in their "Mentions" column on Tweetdeck or equivalent on other platforms. So, you never just use someone's name, because they may not see it. For example, if you mention that Nicola Morgan has just said something fascinating on her blog (it happens) you say Brilliant piece by @nicolamorgan and then you'd insert the URL to my marvellous post. All your followers would see you'd done it, and I would too, even if I wasn't your follower already, because the @ would mean that it would appear in my "Mentions" column. When I saw that you'd done that, I would love you and probably follow you. It's all mutual back-scratching.

THE VITAL #SIGN
#  -  hashchats. Very good idea to get into some hashchats. At designated times, there are worldwide chats on particular topics, such as #writechat, #pubchat (publishers, not pubs, silly). It's a great way to get to "meet" more people with similar interests. You get more followers after joining a #chat. Some #chats are, I think, continuous  -  I have a feeling that an example is #amwriting, where people tweet about what they're writing, but I haven't looked at this yet.

An example of one I have experienced is #litchat, which is Mon/Wed/Fri, 9-10pm London time. You go to www.tweetchat.com, register and follow instructions. Then, the screen changes to a dedicated chat about books, hosted by #Litchat, and (until you choose to leave) the only tweets you see are people all in the same conversation, even if you weren't following them. Like the old-fashioned chat-rooms. Can be a bit mad, can be dead boring, can be stimulating. You'll usually find me, Jane Smith (@hprw), Maggie Dana (@MaggieDana) and Miss Pitch (@pitchparlour) there. We sometimes go off-topic and start bringing wine or chocolate into the conversation, for which we risk being ticked off by the moderator. Bit like being back at school, in my case.

RETWEET (RT)
When you like someone's tweet, you "retweet" or "RT" it by either (eg on Tweetdeck) choosing the RT option on the person's icon (avatar) or by copying and pasting it and adding RT + @name to the beginning. This then becomes a tweet of yours. People like to be RT'd but remember to make sure their @name is there, which is how you credit someone with having done or said something interesting.

RETWEET blog posts with a TWEETMEME button  -  or not...

I have been nagged by Jane Smith (sorry, @hprw) to add a Retweet button to my blog posts. It means that a blog-reader who is on Twitter can automatically send the post to Twitter. Trouble is, I failed. Or, I should say that I failed for an hour and gave up. I followed lots of different instructions but every time the button ended up in a weird place and I started to feel ill. And please do not tell me how to do it  -  I am quite happy having failed because at least I have a life. See, I know where to draw the line. One day, I'll ask Jane or someone to sort me out, but meanwhile I have some actual work to do, as in dosh-earning work.

LINK YOUR BLOG TO TWITTER using Twitterfeed

A really useful thing to do. It means that a) every time you blog, your post automatically goes onto Twitter shortly afterwards and b) IF YOU ALSO insert the html code as a "gadget" on your blog, every time you tweet, your tweet goes onto your blog, so that your blog-readers can see your recent tweets even if they aren't on Twitter. I had some problems setting this up on the two occasions I had to do it, but I persevered and succeeded.

How? Go to www.twitterfeed.com and follow the instructions relating to the blog platform you use. I use blogger and it's straightforward once you get the correct RSS feed address. I can't advise in any way other then to say: persevere. Also, it doesn't work instantly, so don't worry if you seem not to have got it to work: wait an hour and then do a test post.

FABULOUS #FOLLOWFRIDAY

Every Friday is "FollowFriday". This means that if you've liked someone's blog or tweets, you put a tweet saying something like #ff the wonderful blog of @nicolamorgan 4 sensational advice + wit - www.helpineedapublisher.blogspot.com and then, because it had @nicolamorgan in it, I'll see it, love you for ever and probably #ff you back.

WILL THIS TAKE OVER MY LIFE?

If it does, you're doing it wrong. Well, you can do it wrong if you like, but unless you're a sad idiot you won't want something so ridiculous to take over your life. Because it is in many ways ridiculous. But ridiculously useful and more than occasionally fun too. I spend maybe 20 minutes day on it, split into 30 seconds to a minute at a time.

Bit like my dog sniffing and ...

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
Twitter is changing fast and anything I've said here may be out of date in five minutes. It's a matter of holding your breath and leaping in, panicking a bit till you come up for air, treading water till you see where the pretty fish and treasure islands are and then just going with the flow. And never, ever labouring such a mixed metaphor again.

Meanwhile, all you Twitterers, do please add any of your favourite tips or clients or #chats in the comments below. What I don't know about Twitter could fill a lot more than a day's worth of tweets, so do add to my paltriness. And correct anything I've got wrong. I'm finding my way, too.

Also, in the comments, tell us your own Twitter name (@.........) so that we can follow you.

Now I must go and sniff around Twitter and see what's been going on in my absence.

(PS  -  remember that I'm away most of this week  -  commenting is tricky from Tuesday onwards, but I'll be reading yours.)

REASONS TO BE BLOGGING

Two days ago, I talked about whether and when authors need "platforms"  -  see here. And I explained what I meant by that prosaic and commercial word. Don't shy away just because you don't like the word. That would be ostrichesque.

There is no doubt that a very good way to start to build a platform is to blog. Many of you already do. Many of your blogs were mentioned and visited during the Blogoffee Party on Friday.

But, newbies, or those who haven't found their blogging way yet, must remember:

1. There are other good reasons for writers to blog, not just platform construction
   
2. You have to blog properly for it to have effect
   

Good reasons for writers to blog, in no particular order:

1. The opportunity to make contacts  -  thereby creating a possible platform and leading to unpredictable things, such as an influential person happening to like what you do and promoting you in some small way which could lead to a big way. (You can't/shouldn't be contrived about this  -  just let it happen).
   
2. The opportunity to follow other blogs about writing and by writers and industry professionals  -  thereby increasing knowledge of the whole business, making you more publishable and better prepared
3. The opportunity to make friends amongst other writers  -  an excellent reason and result 
4. The opportunity to write  -  when you blog you are writing; and writing, writing anything, is GOOD for a writer. More than good: essential
   
5. The opportunity to get instant feedback  -  the book you are writing now, even if it is snapped up, won't be published until perhaps two years from now. Your blog posts are published with the click of a finger and read seconds later.

But, how do you blog properly? (By properly, I mean if you want people to read what you write. If it wasn't, you'd just write a private diary. So, "properly" means at least slightly publicly. Of course, perhaps you do just write your blog for private consumption  -  fine, but that's not what I'm talking about here.)

Here are my rules for successful and happy blogging:

1. have something to say  -  content is king. What you had for breakfast is not interesting unless it is interesting. We all have breakfast  -  why would I spend time reading about yours? People need a reason to read you and people are busy. There are countless blogs they could be reading. If you haven't got something that will hold an audience for a long post, be brief  -  a lesson I should really learn myself...
   
2. be yourself  -  since you need to develop a voice and since you have to blog often,  spontaneously, and over many months, being yourself makes it much easier to sustain. 
   
3. but, while being yourself, have a theme, a feel, a "brand". (Sorry to go all markety  - call it a personal style instead, if you like.) It is possible to blog about a range of things, but people need to know what to expect when they come to your blog. For example, you expect me to give publishing advice in a more or less crabbit way; in the process, you expect me sometimes to sound off vaguely amusingly and certainly trenchantly, and to go gooey over chocolate, boots and sparkly wine. That's my "brand"  -  it's also utterly me.
   
4. have links to relevant blogs on your blog. Do keep them relevant though, or sort them into topics. Again, it's about people needing to know what to expect and therefore why they should spend time with you. Why should they visit? Will they have fun, learn something, connect with others? Or what?
   
5. if stuck for something to say one day, post links to relevant things you find  -  videos, articles or pics. You don't need permission to link to anyone else's blog but quoting substantially from another person's words is breaking the law, so ask. Chances are they'll be delighted. A short quote (and there's no definition of short ...) comes under "fair use " (US) or "fair dealing" (UK) and requires no permission, though you must always credit the writer, provide the source and quote 100% accurately. Some bloggers include a message about what permission you need  -  see mine in the bottom right column.
6. keep your blog tidy and well-organised so people can find what you want them to find
   
7. blog regularly. Two to three times a week is good; once a week is acceptable but is probably the minimum if you want to keep your readers growing.
8. link to Twitter  -  I'll be talking about Twitter next Monday.
   
9. your blog should not just be about you, unless you are completely fascinating. Or even, frankly, if you are. A blog has to be more giving than that. This is so important that I will now elaborate:
   

If you create a blog purely to promote yourself, you will fail. Or at least you will only succeed in promoting yourself as a selfish bugger full of your own self-importance. Blogging is a shared activity, something which should give as much as it takes. If you blog selfishly and self-importantly, you are like those irritating people who stand around at parties a) looking over my shoulder while talking to me, in case there's someone more interesting / useful they could talk to and b) never asking questions because they only want to hear their own voices. Also, these ugly characters may seem very confident and successful but, trust me, their pride and arrogance will destroy them in the end, or at the very least they will make enemies who will snipe at them behind their backs and not buy their books. I have on many occasions not bought the book of an author who behaves like that. 


This sharing aspect means that you must visit other blogs, comment and get involved. What you can't do is go to someone else's blog and jump into the comments with a plug for your blog. This is very bad blog form. If by chance you've just blogged about the same thing, it would be acceptable to mention this, but give due credit and praise to the blog you are visiting. Be very polite. You wouldn't turn up at someone's house uninvited and start telling them about your success. I hope...


I've read (can't remember where) a paradigm of the rules of promotion in this context, which states that there should be 60% take and 40% give. I'd put it the other way round. If you give more than you take, I think this is better in the long run, makes you more friends, and allows for a slow-burn of success. It feels better too. Maybe that's just me but I'd absolutely hate it if people thought I was doing any of this cynically or selfishly.

There's a thin line between promoting your work and showing off. Of course, not everyone will agree where the line is...

But this brings me to a personal point: those who don't know me well may be thinking, "What, so all this apparent generosity on Nicola Morgan's part, all this providing of info for free, actually is all about creating a platform for herself? She's not really a chocolate-loving, sexy-boot-wearing, sparkly-wine-loving, pseudo-crabbit old bat  -  this is just a persona she has built in order to promote herself as a brand?"

Believe three things: 

1. I really am that person  -  there is nothing contrived here at all
   
2. I started the blog for one reason only  -  I wanted to help writers not approach agents and editors in really stupid ways, because I kept seeing them doing it and it really bugged me. I woke up one morning, early, and started, spontaneously, after a particularly annoying incident where some unpublished writers had shown inexcusable ignorance.
   
3. I have continued blogging for one reason only  -  I love doing it, absolutely love it. I hope that shines through. But I love meeting people in all sorts of ways  - parties, dinners, meetings, events, festivals. I am, frankly, a communication and contact junkie. It was only once I got going that I realised that I was inadvertently (but happily, I admit) developing some kind of "platform".
   

None of this is difficult. I only started eight months ago. I knew nothing, just made it up as I went, learning from others, and making generous contacts. I owe a huge amount to two fellow bloggers in particular, Jane Smith and Lynn Price. I think the way we all respect each other and share ideas, where in a non-blogging environment we could be rivals ready to kill each other with our stilettos, is a beauty of blogging. So many other amongst you have contributed too, and I am grateful to you all. I think we have a great community of people serious about writing, at all different stages of our careers.

Still not convinced of the practical point? In the last two weeks alone I have been contacted by seven very decent bloggers who wanted me to do interviews or guest posts on their blogs. Two of the results are here (no need to see both, as they are the same interview on two different blogs). America Reads and What are Writers Reading? Another is going up in a few days and was amusing to do  -  it was Coffee With a Canine, in which my dog gets to eat biscuits on the sofa and tell squirrel-chasing stories. The others are in progress.

But wouldn't a marketing person want to measure increased sales? Maybe they would, but me? Nah, I'm having way too much fun just writing. Yes, if I could be bothered, I could list positive things that have happened, but I'm not going to. I will just say that I have learnt a lot and that value the conversations we've all had here. And if I hadn't sold a single extra book, I honestly wouldn't mind, though I know very well that I have. You've told me.

So, thank you for allowing me to blog at you so lengthily. (Yes, I know, often too lengthily.) And now, get back to your blogs and prepare for publication...

Meanwhile, I'm off to blog about Twittering, to be posted next Monday. And be aware that I'm away all this week so can't easily reply to your comments, but I will be reading them. I have eyes everywhere.