But first, the "learning", as management-speaky types say.
- My book is for readers of 9 to 99.
- You and me are going to be rich. ( Or "You and me are" anything.)
- I have printed my book on a HP Photosmart XB100.
- I enclose for your delectation...
- I have chosen to send you chapters 3, 8 and 73, because I think they are the best ones.
- I have chosen to send you chapters 3, 8 and 73 because I haven't printed the others out.
- I have chosen Comic Sans because it's nice and clear.
- I enclose my fiction novel.
- Dear Sir. (Or Dear Madam.)
- Most readers couldn't give a toss about books nowadays but I promise they'll love this.
- It's like Love in the Time of Cholera, but way more interesting.
- It doesn't really fit any genre.
- My kids almost died laughing when they read it.
- It's not like the other books out there.
- I have already published it as an ebook so I've proved there's a market. Now I'm looking for print publication.
- I don't think it needs much editing.
- I know it needs a lot of editing.
- It's been my life's dream to write a book but I never had time.
- Several people have said I have real talent.
- I was highly commended in an online competition and one of the judges said I have a very unusual voice.
- It's written in a very simple style because readers of this age are not very clever.
- Be sensible and professional.
- Be calm and sane.
- Be clear and concise.
- Write a decent book. (Though it may also be indecent. But be careful if it's for children...)
I have admitted several times on this blog that I once wrote a covering letter in rhyme. However, there was something else tacky and stupid that I did in that same covering letter. What was it? (If you don't know, guess. If no one gets it right, the most creative wrong guess will win!) If there are several correct entries, I will put names in a hat. Deadline: 1st June, midday UK time.
Answer in the comments below - even if someone has already given what you think is the right answer. And please do spread this competition around - anyone can enter! Yes, overseas bods, too. I love y'all.
And do please also enter the BIG WTBP Comp - details here. Entries are so far few but fab. And I know that several of you are working on it.
If you want to order your signed copy from me in advance - AND GET IT EARLY! - click the Buy the Book page at the top of this blog. If you order from me you will automatically be entered into the monthly draw to win another crabbit bag. And I will be happy, which should make you happy and the world a therefore happier place.
Now, comment away. And you can answer up to three times, as long as your answer is different...