Published authors self-publishing - all together now

Over recent weeks I've interviewed nine published UK children's authors who have also self-published. I asked them to give tips for any of you considering doing the same and they have come up with generous and wide-ranging advice.

The reason I wanted to focus on writers who have already been published in the traditional way is that this is a blog about getting a publishing deal with a high-quality selective publisher, not about self-publishing (which may also be high-quality but is not what I'm here to talk about.) I wanted to highlight the fact that published authors may have an extra understanding of the realities of being published in any form and that they are likely to bring this understanding to their own publishing. I also believe that all writers, whatever their aims and ambitions, would do well to listen to a wide range of views. There are few definitive answers and many grey areas, many things that will work for one writer/book and not for another. The more we know, listen and understand, the better we can curate our words.

As you know, I am a published author who also self-publishes. (See here for my forthcoming double ebook - and don't forget to enter the competition!) I have a great relationship with my main publishers, Walker Books, and have a book coming out with them next year, The Teenage Guide to Stress. Walker Books have done a brilliant job for me, with Blame My Brain in particular, and they have done things I couldn't possibly have done myself. People often say that publishers only focus on your book for the few weeks around publication. To an extent that is inevitably true; however, you should realise that publishers (good ones) behave like excellent business people (as self-publishing writers must, too) and will take opportunities to push books that have been around for much longer. Blame My Brain was first published in 2005, revised slightly in 2007 and revised again this year. And this year, Walker have really pushed the boat out for it, seven years after publication. Why? Simply because they see it doing well and see an opportunity to make it do better. That's sensible. They have chosen to put resources of time into it, which they can't do for every book. (And that's one of the advantages of self-publishing: you, the author, will continue to work hard for your book. But it's also one of the disadvantages: you have to continue to work hard for it to the extent that you will probably have less time to write your next book.)

Why was Blame My Brain doing well? Because Walker did a good job at the start, because I worked hard to keep promoting it and because the nature of the book meant that it became more and more popular, with more and more schools and parents seeing the need for it. So, partly me and partly the book, and partly the fact that the Walker publicity people took the right opportunities, being both reactive and proactive where there was a realistic benefit in being so. AND, crucially, luck. Publishers and authors often do a great job but luck is not with them and the book (most books) disappears, leaving a little tear-stained shape on an author's heart.

It's really important to keep your feet on the ground and be very realistic, hard-working and decent to work with. Attract the fairy dust.

For all the interviews with fellow published self-publishers, see:

Lynne Garner with Anansi the Trickster Spider

Katherine Roberts with I Am The Great Horse

Julia Jones with The Lion of Sole Bay

AT Boyle with The Typing Man

Diana Kimpton with There Must be Horses

Rhiannon Lassiter with Little Witches Bewitched

Miriam Halahmy with Secret Territory

Joan Lennon with Diary from the Rim

Daniel Blythe with Emerald Greene and the Witch Stones

All children's books, all ready to buy for your young readers. And advice for you, from all of us.

Work hard and keep the faith!

Don't forget that you can ask me a publishing or writing related question for me to answer on this blog. Contact me using the link at the top of the page.

"My novel is YA / cross-over" - GAH

The reason for the GAH is that a novel is hardly ever genuinely cross-over and your claim that it is is rather like the claim in my recent post about age ranges. It induces much eye-rolling from the agent you've submitted to.

"My book is suitable for children of all ages"

In other words, you haven't a clue about the needs of specific groups of readers and you have no sense of what sort of book you've written. You need to get reading, get learning, get analysing. Become an expert. It shouldn't be too difficult because you are, are you not, a passionate reader of the sort of books you write? (If you aren't, notice my most crabbit expression looming over you.)

Spinach, strawberries, and the Society of Authors Children's Literacy Campaign

"Reading for pleasure" is a phrase we hear a lot. It's become a bit of a cliché and the real problem with clichés is that we stop thinking about their meaning. They lose their power.

The other problem with the phrase is that "pleasure" often implies less importance or worth. It implies that perhaps we shouldn't do too much of it, that we should make sure we've done the "work" parts of our reading before we deserve the "pleasure" parts. Reading for pleasure seems somehow more frivolous, epicurean, than reading for benefit, information, work.

It is not; and we fall into some dangerous traps if we think so. Reading for pleasure should come first. It is essential to reading at all. Let me explain.

Once, each of us had to learn to read. We were very young when we had to learn this activity which is difficult, unnatural, and for which we are not, in fact, evolutionarily programmed. There is no part of the brain which is "for" reading, though there are parts which are involved in the separate skills which reading requires. (See Maryanne Woolf's fascinating Proust and the Squid for details about the evolutionary aspects of reading in our brains.)

You cannot get small children to do something just because it's good for them. It has to be pleasurable. We need many hours practice to learn something so complex, and we simply will not get children to put in the hours if they don't enjoy it. Many children enjoy reading immediately because they find it easy immediately. Those children will sail through learning to read because they don't even notice they are learning: they are having too much pleasure. (Including the pleasure they derive from the act of succeeding itself.)

Other children, with differently wired brains - and remember that since our brains are not wired for reading we all have to "borrow" brain cells and connections from certain brain parts in order to find ways to reading success - will find it harder. They will experience early failure. Show me an adult, let alone a child, who finds pleasure in failure. 

For these children, being told they must read this text because it's good for them, because it's part of schoolwork, because they need to skills to succeed in life, will go no way towards them ever enjoying, and therefore ever adequately practising, the act of reading. They are being offered medicine, instead of food. Hard work instead of enjoyment.

By the time these children are around eight years old, they have seen their friends learn to read easily and wondered why they can't. They have discovered that they "can't", or at least can't easily or well. They now enjoy it even less and probably not at all. They switch off, find other ways to shine, and sometimes the way to shine is to become the naughty child, the disruptive one, the one that the other children love to watch getting into trouble. Or they hide. They retreat into a shell inside which every effort goes into avoiding reading.

Initiatives by schools and governments to get them reading will have absolutely no positive effect if the focus isn't reading for pleasure. You can thrust the exercises and worksheets at them, you can drag them to a reading session for ten minutes every lunchtime, you can even fill the library with books and make them sit in it, but if reading for pleasure is not the whole focus - the WHOLE focus - you might as well chuck the money and the effort and the books into the sea. Because they will not practise for the required number of hours. It's that simple.

This is why I talk about spinach and strawberries. Both are good for us. When we eat spinach, even if we also like it (as I do), we still eat it with a sense of "This is good for me. Its health benefits are more obvious than the pleasure of its taste." When we eat strawberries (or any other fruit you happen to love better), we don't do so thinking about the health benefits, merely about the fact that we enjoy the taste.

That's what reading should be like. Reading is fantastically "good" for us but we shouldn't be thinking about that when we do it. And, most crucially, we should NOT, please, please, please, offer reading to children as some kind of medicinal or healthy activity, even if, like spinach, it is. We should offer it purely as enjoyable. And our whole aim should be to find a book that a child will enjoy reading.

Because otherwise, why would he do it?

That's why I support, with all my heart and with the loudest voice I have, the children's literacy campaign by the Society of Authors.

That's why I recently agreed, proudly, to be one of the new Ambassadors for Dyslexia Scotland, at the invitation of Sir Jackie Stewart, who knows all too well what it is like to go through school feeling a failure because of failure to learn one thing: how print works.

That is why I write for young people.

And that is why I'm proud to write not books but strawberries. Because I know strawberries are good for you but I only want you to think of the taste.

I will be talking more about this in Glasgow on June 16th, where I'm doing the keynote speech for a conference aimed at parents who want to know more about reading and how to encourage it. Do come!

Cheers for children's reading - with a healthy dose of spinach and strawberries

Today I'm in Stirling, giving a keynote speech at a conference of literacy specialists. I used to regard myself as a literacy specialist, one who especially specialised in reading difficulties such as dyslexia, but it's a while since I spoke about it very much and I don't feel expert any more, although you never forget what you feel passionate about, and I do feel passionately about reading. However, once I established that I was not going to have to talk about certain things I'm allergic to - initiatives, statistics and the Curriculum for (So-Called) Excellence - I was happy to do it.

You might be interested in a recent article in which I talk about strawberries, spinach and children's reading, for Bookbrunch. Bookbrunch asked me to do this in connection with the Scottish Children's Book Award. Thank you, Bookbrunch! I then, by chance, met one of the founders, Liz Thomson, at a dinner last week, where I was the guest speaker. I'd met Liz once before, at the opening party for the Edinburgh International Book Festival, when she and Nicholas Clee had recently had the idea that became Bookbrunch and I remember talking to her about it then.

David Robinson, books editor of the Scotsman, did a nice piece on how children cheer more wildly for books than adults do. Or, at least, that was my interpretation of it!

I'm still not really here, of course. Doing a good impression, though, aren't I?

A young reader visits and wows me with awesomeness

Writing for teenagers is a tough way of earning a living. Virtually impossible when you write stand-alone books like mine. Most teenagers understandably tend not to buy books, preferring to borrow them from their school library - which is FAB from a cultural, social, emotional etc point of view but from an earning-a-living point of view, not so much. (School library borrowings don't provide author income, but borrowing from a public library does.)

However, every now and then something happens which reminds me why I love teenage readers more than any other readers in the world, even if I can't earn a living from them. And when I say "teenage", I mean anyone from the age of about 11, because that's when it all kicks off. (See Blame My Brain if you want to know why.)

Recently, after a school event in Devon, one of those things happened. I had an email from an 11-year-old girl, Iseult Merlin, who had been in the audience and who hadn't been able to ask her questions. And they were the most extraordinarily deep and fascinating questions, as you will see.

Some of you are writing or hoping to write for teenagers. Some people think this must be an easy thing to do because, you may think, teenagers won't think as deeply as an adult or worry about hidden meanings or anything. How wrong could you be! I have always known how deeply they think, otherwise why would I so love writing for them?

With permission from Iseult and her mother, Lalla, I now reproduce the questions and my answers.  All the questions are about Deathwatch, which Iseult says she loved.

Iseult: At the end of the story it was clear that even the ‘villain’, (the stalker) – was someone who was a victim of a past tragedy and to be pitied. Do you think most villains are really victims?

Well, I think the most interesting ones are. If we say that a villain is a victim we give him an excuse and rather than saying, "He's bad" we say "He's bad because..." What I would never want to do is say, "He's bad because...and so that's ok." I think we all have to stand up for free will and choice, though people who are very damaged by circumstances have tougher choices.

Iseult: At the end I was left feeling sorry for the old man who had done the school visit with his insects. Is it important to leave some characters without a happy resolution to their story?

I think I perhaps wanted to show what an old man might feel like in front of a whole classroom of teenagers. I also think some people don't have a happy resolution to their stories in real life and I think it's OK (but not necessary) to show that. Also, in fiction, we do tend to leave minor characters to their own devices and not tie everything up happily for them. I felt sorry for him too but he felt very real to me and I needed to think what he would really have done, more than what I wanted him to do.

Iseult: Cat’s vulnerability to her stalker is largely caused by her rebellion against her parents’ rules: she goes on ‘Phiz’ despite her parents’ ban, giving away too much information about herself; she walks home alone when they want to collect her in the car. She is saved by her athletic ability, something her parents are keen she should continue, though she has doubts. This seems to put her parents in the right and Cat in the wrong: is this intentional?

Wow! I don't know! I suppose that if Cat is in the wrong then the readers (who are on Cat's side and who are more like Cat than like her parents) will see inside their own hearts and start to put themselves in her shoes. And, of course, parents are sometimes right! Basically, though, I'm just telling the story as I feel it, rather than thinking what ought to happen.

Iseult: At the end we see that Cat is taking her future into her own hands. When she kills the spider in her room she is tackling her fears; when she decides to continue as a runner but to cut down on swimming she is shaping her own future. But many of the characters can’t do this because of mental illness – schizophrenia or gulf war syndrome. Is mental illness the real villain?

Wow again! Yes, I rather think you are right. Mental illness is an incredibly powerful hurdle or brick wall, stopping people being able to do what they want or need. And I guess that your point about Cat taking her future into her own hands is crucial - because when you have mental illness you lose control (some or all) of your own future, or it must feel like that from inside. Maybe that's the aim of the doctors caring for patients with mental illness: to give them back control.

Iseult: Most of the characters, although they seem separate at the start, are linked by an invisible web of past connections. Is this why the book has a spider theme?

[Note to my readers: NOW do you see what I mean?? Is this not brilliant??]

On on level: No! The book has a spider theme because I don't like spiders and insects and nor do lots of other people, so I thought it would be creepy and fascinating and thrilling and nasty.

On another level: there's a view that says that if a reader takes a meaning or message from a book, the meaning or message is there and valid. So, if you think that's why there's a spider theme, you are correct, because that is a meaning for you. It wasn't intentional, but the mind works in mysterious ways. And if I was as clever as you, I could easily have done it intentionally!

Remarkable questions, Iseult, and it is a total privilege for me to be able to write for you and other readers like you.

To buy Deathwatch or Blame My Brain or any of my books, please either support your nearest or favourite bookshop, or use my Amazon store here. Thank you!

CHILDREN'S WRITING - HELP FOR YOU

I'm delighted to bring you some advice on children's writing from two experts, Sarah Stewart and Cat Clarke, who have combined to form a specialist consultancy for writers of children's and Young Adult fiction, The Lighthouse. The Lighthouse offers editorial guidance and manuscript appraisal for both published and unpublished writers.

A little about Sarah and Cat

Sarah was Fiction Editor at Scholastic Children’s Books, where she worked with high-profile authors such as the bestselling Maggie Stiefvater, Karen McCombie and Dan Freedman. Previously, Sarah spent ten years as a journalist and magazine editor, writing for a wide range of publications, from The Guardian to Mizz magazine. She is the author of The Girls’ Annual 2010 (Michael O’Mara books).

Cat is the author of YA novel Entangled (Quercus, 2011). She was Senior Commissioning Editor for Non Fiction at Scholastic Children’s Books, working on Terry Deary’s bestselling Horrible Histories and developing and commissioning several new series including My True Story. Previously, she spent five years at Usborne Publishing, writing and editing books for 4 – 10 year-olds.

I grabbed hold of them and asked them some questions.

NM: What are the three most common problems you find in MSS that are sent to you?

Often, new writers haven’t considered the age group or audience for their book. In one sense that’s fine – ideally, we should all just write naturally and tell the story we want to tell – but when writing for young people, there’s always a danger of being either too sophisticated or too babyish. Knowing what 7-year-olds read as opposed to 12-year-olds, for example, is crucial.

Also, we often see simple mistakes in continuity, or typos in the first pages of a manuscript. We don’t mind a bit if you forget whether Mrs Cheese is wearing a red or a yellow dress … but agents will find mistakes like this tiresome, and you want a potential agent to enjoy your manuscript without distractions.

Thirdly, pacing. Sometimes we find stories with sluggish starts, or stories that launch in without us getting to know anything about our protagonists. It can be tricky to find the balance between setting the scene, and pulling the reader into the action.

NM: What areas of the children's market do you think have the greatest opportunities as the moment?

Young Adult is still incredibly strong, but interestingly, there has been a bit of a gap for some time now in fiction for very young children. Several key brands/series have the 5-7 market well-tapped, but there may well be space for new voices there. 

[NM adds: quite a lot I'd like to add here! It's worth stressing that only some areas of YA are strong - in other areas many authors are being dropped despite award and critical success, because teenagers may love deep, stand-alone novels of a somewhat literary bent but they don't buy enough and therefore publishers are cutting back. Sales are also too low for us to survive. I know this...

Another major gap in the market, much spoken of by serious reviewers and experts, is quality fiction for 9-11s, who are often voracious readers. Many publishers are looking for fresh new voices here, writers who can tell powerful and unusual stories. Many people also feel that there's too much jokey stuff - though it does well commercially - and that an over-looked and much harder area is rich, stunning young fiction without the slapstick.]

NM: What sort of things make writing for children so much harder than people might think?

Writing for kids is storytelling in its purest form – there’s no sacrificing narrative for style. Children won’t hang about. If you bore them, they’re off (and quite right too). Of course, style is still important, but the story has to be central at all times.

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that writing for children is the easy option - often assuming that at some point you'll surely 'graduate' and start writing books for adults. They couldn't be more wrong. The best kids’ writers make it look so easy, but it’s not!

You have to know and respect your audience, and avoid talking down to them. Often we see manuscripts with plots and characters that are quite complex, yet the story is written in an rather simplistic 'bedtime story' sort of tone. The voice needs to match the age group you're writing for. And remember ... a good bedtime story doesn't necessarily make a good novel!

[NM adds: Agree with all that. And creating a strong voice is harder when that voice has to be authentic as a child's-view voice and yet be written by an adult. There's a kind of ventriloquist's skill. We are telling the story through a child, not trying to sound as though it's by a child. Time-scales are different, too - children's stories generally can't take place over many years. There are ways round this, of course, but it's important to keep the focus on one period of time - say a year at most.]  

Can you suggest some exemplary books or authors of various sorts (over a range of ages and genres), which you'd recommend aspiring writers for young people should read?

Absolutely; we love this question! Perhaps look at old classics like Nina Bawden’s Carrie’s War or Jean Webster’s Daddy-Long-Legs, and then ping forward into contemporary anarchy with Andy Stanton’s Mr Gum books. Jeremy Strong’s books are cracking examples of humour that works for both boys and girls, and for a glimpse into how to do fast-paced dystopian YA, go for Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games.

[NM adds: a great start. For other genres/ages perhaps readers can add their own suggestions? So, blog-readers, what are your suggestions for historical, sci-fi, issue-based, thriller, contemporary psychological, and all the many different age groups? For example, I'd say you can't write decent YA if you're not aware of the power of some of these: Meg Rosoff, Kevin Brooks, Malorie Blackman, Julie Bertagna, Marcus Sedgwick. You might even like to try mine! Fleshmarket and my Highwayman books for historical, Sleepwalking for dystopian, Passionflower Massacre for contemporary psychological, Deathwatch for contemporary thriller, Mondays are Red for magical realism, Chicken Friend for 9-11 friend/issue-based.]

Apart from finding out what's wrong with this MS, what else do writers learn from having an expert eye cast over their work?

It’s so, so hard to be objective about your work – in fact, it’s impossible! As writers as well as editors, we know how difficult it is. And friends and family can be very kind, which is lovely but not always constructive. We can offer honest feedback, delivered in a way that won’t hurt your feelings (promise. We know what it’s like to have hurt feelings). And we’re very good at spotting things like which dress Mrs Cheese should be wearing, and asking you to fix things like pacing! Often these things crop up in other creative writing you’re doing, so it can be very useful to be aware of them in a more general sense.

If you'd like help with your children's writing from Sarah and Cat's consultancy:
We can be found at lighthouseliterary.co.uk, and we love it when people say hello on Twitter @thelighthouseuk. Or email us directly on lighthouseliterary@gmail.com.

As you know, I run a consultancy, too - Pen2Publication - but I'm not taking on any more clients just now. So, hurtle over to Cat and Sarah for good advice!

Do ask them some questions in the comments below! And please add to the list of recommended books or authors for children's and YA fiction.

WRITING A BOOK FOR YOUNG CHILDREN

Do you think it would be easy to write a children's picture book? Do you have an idea for one but you're wondering how to go about it? Well, wonder no more, as I've found you an eye-opening explanation of the process. Ree Drummond was already a cookery writer so she did have an "in" with a publisher but her approach and all the steps she took along the way are exactly as they would have been if she was completely unpublished.

Please note the professionalism, the process, the way she worked with the illustrator (and note that she did not bring the illustrator with her - a common mistake of novices is to think they must direct the artwork before the story itself has been accepted) and all the details of editing and honing.

It's not easy to write a story in very few words but I love the look of the Charlie book.

On another note, and lowering the tone considerably, I completely love this picture book for adults. It's been an enormous success even before publication, hitting the No 1 spot on the NYT bestseller list. (Don't look if you are of delicate sensibilities...)

WRITING FOR CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS

At the York Festival of Writing I promised to make a version of my notes for each talk available as a free download. Here's the one on Writing for Children and Teenagers. Please respect the copyright note on the document. In fact - *frowns severely* - it would be against the law not to.

Soon, I'll post the notes for my What's Wrong With your Manuscript? talk at the York Festival, too.

I have to say that you'll get a lot more detail and lots of examples of what I'm saying if you actually come to an event! Here are some opportunities:

How to Make a Publisher Say Yes  - Cambridge Wordfest. April 16th

The Secrets of Writing for Children and Teenagers - whole evening in Edinburgh, with opportunity for personal written feedback on your work. June 9th. Hurry - places filling fast! Masses of detail in this workshop and the feedback from my first evening-long one last week was excellent.

And two more June one-hour events are organised, one in London and one in Edinburgh - I am not allowed to give you details yet. Neither is aimed at writing for children, though - the only place you'll get that is the Edinburgh one on June 9th. Please tell anyone you know who might be interested, as I won't be doing many like this - possibly one a year.

I'm happy to tell you that today I signed off the text for Write to be Published. That means that the next time I see it will be when the advance copies arrive in early May. I plan to put some extracts up here and to announce a competition very soon, with the prize of a free critique of your first chapter...

So, go and polish it!

THE SECRETS OF WRITING FOR YOUNG PEOPLE...

...are many, important, interesting and often surprising. So much so that I'm organising a Write to be Published extended workshop on June 9th especially to try to cover them all and give participants a really strong handle on how to enter this tricky market with confidence.

Writing for children isn't easy but it's wonderfully rewarding. It's also much harder than it used to be many years ago. That might seem an odd thing to say, but if you look at many (most) of the children's books written a generation ago you'll find them missing many "rules" and conventions which now apply; you'll find them getting away with plot devices and happenings that won't wash nowadays; you'll find enormous competition with many more books and writers than there used to be; you'll find gate-keepers who have different agendas from each other and from the readers; and you'll find a standard and range of linguistic techniques and possibilities unlike anything that went before. (Whatever Martin Amis may think.)

Here are some of the things you need to know about before you are likely to be published as a children's writer:

• word count for age range
• pages and spreads for picture books - including managing illustrations (but NOT doing them...)
• ramifications of the need for co-editions
• age of characters for age range
• wtf are age ranges about anyway?
• topic / themes appropriate for age of audience
• boundaries and barriers
• the rules that modern real-life children are bound by - parents, social services and damned mobile phones!
• gate-keepers
• character development 
• rights and wrongs - where can or should morals come into it?
• safety-nets and the fear factor
• educational vs trade writing
• colloquial language use - including managing swearing

And then, once we've understood these technicalities, the fun starts: we learn to manipulate the various voices needed for the different age groups and different genres and to get those voices pitch perfect. Voice in children's and teenage writing is one of my favourite topics and there's no doubt that it's essential to get it right. I'd venture to say that there are more mistakes to be made here than in adult writing and therefore that it's even more essential to know what you're doing.

There are some writers who seem to know and do all this naturally. If that's you, you're probably published already. But if not, and if the list above leaves you feeling a little bit lost or worried, or if you'd like to understand much more, or to have reassurance that you're on the right lines, I can help you. You might be halfway through your first draft or even your fourth, or you might be about to start: whichever, I can help.

I was going to write a book about this, as some of you know. I've had to postpone that indefinitely, I'm afraid, owing to "pressure of stuff". But it doesn't matter because I'll be doing the workshop and you can all come. Well, no, of course you can't all come, so, for those of you who can't, I'll drip-feed some learning points in blog posts over the coming weeks. But the written word can only achieve so much: nothing beats the chocolate hands-on experience of attending a workshop and letting me actually show you how to do it and explain more clearly what I mean, using my work and perhaps yours (with your permission) as examples. The opportunity for you to ask questions, and for us to discuss bits of your work, will be hugely valuable. It's rather like a Pen2Publication consultation and clients there have discovered that having advice applied directly to one's own work is eye-opening, making it all make sense, properly, personally, practically.

And then, of course, there's the chocolate, the wine, the free signed copy of Write to be Published, and a glorious crabbit bag! Booking is now open - don't delay.

QUESTION RE ILLUSTRATION

This question was posted on the Contact page above, where anyone can request a blog post from me. I thought I'd put the request here, answer the question, and make an extra, unasked-for, comment. For clarity, I am only reproducing this here because the writer put it publicly on the blog; I would never do this to something sent to me as a personal email.

Greg said...

Hi Nicola, I'm a new writer in the States, although screenplays are my game. Coincidentally, I'm currently adapting the biography of Robert Stanford-Tuck (Battle of Britain Ace) for the big screen. Well, that's where I hope it ends up, anyway. Having said that, my kids and I came up with a concept for a children's book based on an word game we invented. We laugh almost constantly while we play, and virtually anyone within earshot laughs too, whether they like it or not. I plan to follow your sage advice and, once this movie business is out of the way, have a go at our game in book form. The book will need illustration in my opinion. What's the protocol for submitting a manuscript to a publisher in such circumstances? Need one include illustration? Or simply the promise of illustration? Thanks for a great site.

So, here's my answer to the important question about illustration.

Do NOT include illustration. The only time you should include illustration is if you are actually an illustrator and you are approaching a publisher as such. Not if you are the writer. The publisher will find the illustrator. If you wish to add some illustrations just to give an idea, then there's nothing to stop you, but you must make it absolutely clear that you are not expecting or wishing the publisher to accept them. So, don't promise illustration either.

If you have an illustrator friend whose drawings you'd love to use, forget it. If you admire some illustrations and wish to use that artist, forget it. Leave the illustrating side to the publisher. (If, on the other hand, you plan to self-publish an illustrated book, for crying out loud get a professional illustrator. Please! But that's not what Greg is doing.)

And my extra comment? Unasked for. It's cautionary advice.  Greg said, "We laugh almost constantly while we play, and virtually anyone within earshot laughs too, whether they like it or not." Already, I am cringing. I just hope that Greg is not going to use this line, or anything similar, in his query.

Kids laugh when someone breaks wind. It doesn't make it worth putting in a book.

Seriously. I don't mean to sound snarky. I just want to make this point: never tell an agent or publisher about anyone else's reaction to your book, idea, words, anything. It's one of the biggest turn-offs, means nothing and marks you out as a newbie. There's nothing wrong with being a newbie - we all were once - but you must not sound like one.

So, Greg, I'm really glad you came here because I hope to set you on the right route. You'll find stacks more advice about submitting your work, but I want you first to think about the idea for your book. Does it really work as a book? Sounds to me as though it should perhaps stay as a game? Or am I just being very unimaginative? Screenplays, games, books, illustrations - four very, very different things. I know you know that, but just make sure you know exactly in what ways they are different.

Good luck!!

TOP TIP 1 - WRITING FOR KIDS / YA

Here begins a series of brief points, in no particular order. It's a handy way of keeping you on your toes while I attempt to write four books simultaneously and have a life.

(By the way, you don't seem to have noticed that, although I said I was going to take a bit of a break, I didn't... Yep, I just couldn't stay away.)

Anyway, my first Top Top for writing for children and teenagers is this:

Because you have been both child and teenager, you are much more interested in them than they are in you. Therefore, where adults appear in your story, do not bother to include their emotions, desires or crises. Your readers do not care. They care only as far as adult actions impinge on the characters.

So, you can show adults doing things and behaving in annoying, reprehensible, or even, if you must, admirable, ways. But you must not get into the minds of the necessarily minor adult characters or begin to see the world through any adult's eyes. And if there is to be any explanation of the bad or silly behaviour of your adults, it must be seen or explained through relentlessly child / teenage eyes.

Don't forget this: you are nothing in a book for children. You just get in the way.

PICTURE BOOK NOVELTIES

When I can't offer expertise in something, I find a person who can. So, to tell you about the ins and outs of writing picture books and novelty books, I turned to Anna Bowles.

Anna started in children’s publishing as an editor at Egmont, where she worked on Winnie-the-Pooh sequel, Return to the Hundred Acre Wood and the relaunch of Rupert Bear, amongst many other projects. Since going freelance two years ago she has done a stint as a Senior Editor at HarperCollins and written series fiction for Hothouse, in addition to operating as an independent consultant on children’s books. As an author of branded story and novelty books she has written about characters ranging from Barbie to Ben 10, and her books have sold over two million copies. Her next novelty publication is My Journey with Thomas the Tank Engine, due out in June.

Anna is available for consultancy and freelance editorial work. Visit www.annabowles.co.uk  or check her blog www.chocolatekeyboard.blogspot.com for details.

Talking of Thomas the Tank Engine, I really ought to be an expert in this subject, having spent many a hallucinatory hour writing a series of these delights, but somehow I see only a blank space in my brain where sensible advice should be.

Anna, on the other hand, not only knows this stuff but manages to say it lucidly and remain sane.

NM: What do we mean by a novelty book as opposed to picture books?

AB: Novelty books certainly have pictures in them, but they aren’t picture books. Some writers can find this confusing, not surprisingly.

In publishing, the term ‘picture book’ specifically refers to a storybook (or occasionally some non-fiction) for children aged 0-5. It can be hardback or paperback, but it always has full-page illustrations and only a small amount of text per page. The standard format is something like A4, only more squarish.

Novelty books are a lot more diverse, and can feature anything from paper flaps to sound chips or other fancy additions. Quite often they are aimed at young children, but pop-up books for adults, for example, are still novelties. ‘Novelty’ is an umbrella term for any publication that physically consists of more than just flat pages and a cover.

NM: Is there a difference in whom we approach and how, in order to be published in these different formats?

AB: With picture books, the way to go about seeking publication is via the standard route of polishing the text as much as possible, and then trying to interest an agent or going directly to a publisher who has an open-door submission policy. Just make sure that the publisher or agent in question does in fact take picture books. Most will, if they deal with other kinds of children’s books, but check the small print.

Because of the physical elements involved, novelty publishing requires specialist knowledge and resources. Only a limited number of publishers are set up for this, and as a result a lot of novelties are originally produced by book packagers, although you might not realise this from the finished project as it will have the publisher’s logo on the spine. A packager is a company that writes and designs a book, then sells it on to a publisher which prints and distributes it. Many packagers are very small operations, with just one or two people on staff, so they’re open to using freelance writers and designers.

An agent is unlikely to take on a novelty book, except for an existing client, so if you have an idea for one your best bet is to approach a packager. They don’t generally have a profile outside the publishing industry, but you can find them in the Writers & Artists’ Yearbook.

NM: Can you outline the technical rules of picture book writing?

AB: Picture books are aimed at the 0-5s, and generally have 32 pages, about 24 of which are given over to the story and illustrations. The maximum wordcount for prose is usually said to be 1,500, though in my experience 500-750 words is considered ideal.

Picture Book Checklist
1) Concept - Is the action of your story comprehensible to very young children who probably have little experience outside home and maybe nursery?

2) Language level - Maybe not every word in your book will already be familiar to a three-year-old, but without making your text at all drab you should make sure that difficult words are kept to a minimum and presented in a context that helps the child absorb their meaning.

3) Sentence structure - This should be as simple and direct as possible.

4) Read-aloud-ability: flow - Picture books are meant for reading to children as much as by them, and it should be possible for an adult to pick up a well-written picture book and read it aloud straight out without stumbling.

5) Read-aloud-ability: flair - If you listen to a parent reading a picture book to a child, they often put a lot of drama into it. Onomatopoeia, lively dialogue and (limited) sound effects all help mum or dad to give a first-rate performance.

6) Illustrations: subject - No, you don’t draw them yourself (more on that below). But you need to think about how your story will work in visual terms. If it’s all set in the same place, for example in a child’s bedroom, you could have a problem because the illustrator will be hard-pressed to make that interesting.

7) Illustrations: spacing - You don’t have to know exactly where the page breaks will come in your text, but it’s good to have a rough idea, so that you can be sure there are no pages where the artist will be hard-pressed to find something to draw.

8) Editing - The usual advice about merciless editing applies tenfold to picture books. You can’t waste a word.

I’m assuming here that your picture book does have a story, but in fact not all do. Hooray for Fish! by Lucy Cousins, which lists different types of imaginary fish, is a favourite with toddlers and a great example of a picture book with virtually no narrative. I wouldn’t recommend the non-narrative approach to beginners though; it’s good to prove to publishers that you can write a story.

NM: And the technical rules for novelty books?

The most important issues in novelty publishing are cost and the ever-increasing raft of safety regulations. A case in point: I remember being handed a bag of crayons by Production and asked to tell them which colours I wanted for the crayon pack on the front of a book. I handed them all back five minutes later, having determined that the answer was ‘none of them’ because they physically didn’t work. The ingredient that would make the crayons actually function had become illegal in products for under threes, and been removed.

As a result of this kind of headache, novelty books often come about through a process of in-house brainstorming of the format, after which the text is written by an editor. However, the search for new formats, or innovative ways of presenting old ones, is an ongoing challenge, and if you come up with a really fresh idea it could well be of interest to a packager.

Novelty book checklist
1) Concept
Is the novelty element an integral part of your story, or just a bolt-on? The story has to be told through the flaps/pieces of cloth/LEDs or whatever it may be.

2) Mechanics
Is your book physically possible? You have to be able to visualise it very clearly, or you end up, for example, not realising that a die cut (hole in the page) on page 5 will of necessity appear on page 6 as well. It sounds obvious, but I know of a book that got to the sample copies stage before the editor twigged.

3) Affordability
As a very rough rule of thumb, a £4.99 children’s book will be able to have one expensive novelty element like a mirror plus some flaps and tabs, or two less expensive elements such as cloth and PVC.

4) Safety
Safety regulations are complex but you can guess the obvious ones, such as no small detachable elements for the under threes.

5) Variety
For budget reasons you may need to have the same kind of cheap feature – a pull-tab, say – on each of your five spreads, but the illustrations will still need to look substantially different from each other Your story should be written with this in mind.

Novelties don’t seem to get discussed much online, so to get a handle on the market a good idea is to do some extensive research in a bookshop, or seek expert advice if you can get it. The runaway success of the novelty world is of course the Usborne “That’s Not My…” series, so do take a look at them if you haven’t already.

NM: How do publishers go about matching books with illustrators?

Well, the key word there is ‘publishers’, not authors. Genuinely multi-talented author-illustrators are welcomed, but sending in a manuscript with illustrations by your friend, as some new writers do, only signals to editors that you don’t know much about the business.

An acquiring editor is likely to have strong ideas about the illustration style that would suit a particular picture or novelty book. She may take the project straight to a specific illustrator she has in mind, or get samples from a number of candidates. The writer will be consulted during this process, but it is a case of the publisher keeping the writer informed rather than the writer actively driving the process of finding and approving an illustrator.

NM: So many would-be writers start by writing a rhyming text, because we all know children love rhyme and that's it's a great way to engage them. Can you please set writers straight on this?! 

AB: Yes! In fact rhyme is a disadvantage. This is mainly because of foreign rights. To explain: rhyming text is more difficult to translate, so foreign publishers are less likely to buy the translation rights from your agent or UK publisher. That means editors see rhyming manuscripts as less likely to make money than prose stories.

That said, you will find lots of rhyming books on the shelves. The novelties are often written by editorial staff, and many of the picture books are by big names like Julia Donaldson, whose work editors are confident of selling on abroad in spite of the translation issue.

Some, though, are by first-time authors. Breaking into the picture book market with a rhyming manuscript isn’t impossible, it just adds an extra obstacle. So unless you are a very confident writer of verse, and you have a story that just doesn’t seem right in any other form (it happens!), I’d advise sticking to prose.

NM: What other big mistakes do inexperienced writers make?

AB: Most flawed manuscripts are let down by failure to deal with one or more of the points I’ve mentioned above. Plus a large number of manuscripts have a mishmash styles suited to various different ages, which immediately disqualifies them, or are overtly moralistic. If a book has a lesson at all, it has to be couched in, and totally shaped by, a fun story.

It’s also a waste of time to submit a manuscript that just goes “A is for apple, B is for boat” or “Bananas are yellow, strawberries are red” thinking that it’s an easy way to make money, although I’m sure no-one with the sense to read this blog would do that. If text genuinely looks so simple that you can’t imagine anyone being paid to write it then they probably weren’t; the editor did it.

Submitting a single manuscript can also be unwise, because someone who only writes one very short book won’t be seen as worth a publisher’s investment. If you’re working on 10 picture books don’t send them all, as a couple of them will be enough for a professional to make a judgement about your style, but do send two or three and mention the others.

NM: Any further advice, bugbears etc?

AB: collect bugbears! I’ve worked on a lot of TV tie-in novelty books and the thing that irritates me most is the assumption in some quarters that these books are automatically cheap and naff. Unfortunately some are, because of publishers looking to make a quick buck off the back of a trend, but it’s not actually necessary.

In terms of approaches from writers, I suppose the most frustrating thing is when someone seems to think that books are manufactured for free, and waxes lyrical about how a story will be enhanced by having glitter on one page, a pop-up on the next, then a mirror… ain’t gonna happen, much as we might like it to.

I find that it helps to think of the picture book format as a discipline similar to poetry, not because picture books have to be in verse but because they are relatively short and highly sculpted. Making that analogy helps fix a writer in the necessary frame of mind for the amount of fine work and honing that a successful picture book MS requires.

Anna, thank you so much for the huge amount of time you put into that generous advice! I hope would-be picture book writers will agree that it's been incredibly infornative, and eye-opening for anyone who thinks it's easy.

Writers: do check out Anna's website and blog: www.annabowles.co.uk  / www.chocolatekeyboard.blogspot.com.She tells it how it is. Also, if you're thinking of contacting me through Pen2Publication for picture book writing advice, I'd be passing you straight onto Anna anyway, so just contact her direct. Cut out the middle-woman! (Not that I was taking any commission anyway, I hasten to add.)

Note, though: all this advice helps you avoid the practical errors that writers usually make. But much harder is actually coming up with the idea and then translating it into compelling tight writing. I have never even attempted a picture book story: MUCH too hard for me! Julia Donaldson is a friend of mine and I see the talent that goes into her work - pic books nay be short but they require very special skill.

AGE-BANDS: WHO DECIDES?

A post relating to YA/middle grade writing today. Needed for two reasons: 1) Amanda Acton, loyal blog-reader, asked for it, and when a loyal blog-reader asks, I tend to leap. 2) David Belbin, who is in charge of the YA Creative Writing course at Nottingham Trent University, has just told his students to go read my blog, and since I'm doing a lecture there next month I felt I should look like the YA expert that I am in real life. (Hello, lovely students: I am looking forward to meeting you.)

As far as the rules and tricks of writing for the YA market is concerned, I have written extensively about that here and here. And by defining writing for teenagers, I simultaneously tell you a lot about writing for the age group just below that. Clever me!

Amanda's specific question was different. It was: 

"But I do have a curious question regarding how books are labelled. I've seen Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials in both the YA and Middle Grade category. The topic is rather challenging and I'd personally throw it into YA myself, but is that just me being paranoid that young kids won't get it? Or were the people doing the labelling not really reading the books? Or are some books just difficult to put down in one specific category?"

WHAT DO WE MEAN BY LABELLING?
Let me clarify. There was an argument in the UK last year, which has temporarily gone away, about whether books should physically be labelled with an intended age range. This came about after publishers suddenly decided that they would and many authors (including yours truly) and kids rose up and shouted loudly, mostly against this idea. The issue was not whether we believed that books should be aimed at particular age groups, which of course they often rightly are, but that we felt that a label was off-putting to many young readers. For example, a ten-year-old who might have loved a book "intended" for a slightly younger age would feel embarrassed to be seen reading something with "8+" on it. We felt it to be restrictive and damaging. And unnecessary, because a good book-seller can give the perfect level of direction to an enquiring adult wanting to buy for a young reader. (One reason why real bookshops are preferable to on-line selling.)

But physical labelling is not what I'm talking about here, and I don't think Amanda is either. We're talking about age categorization, for example in catalogues and, more importantly, bookshops. Who decides, and why, which age group a book is going to be aimed at?

WHO DECIDES?
Generally, and properly, the author, in conjunction with the commissioning editor, at the time of commissioning and/or writing. Sometimes, a publisher is commissioning a series with a specific age category, so the author would be required to fit that model. But usually the author knows who he or she is writing for and has a very strong sense of that.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?

• Your book can usually only appear in one section of a bookshop. So it's important that you and your publisher understand where it will appear. If you are writing a book which is for 10-12 year-olds, it will appear in the section of a bookshop which in the UK would either be "9-12" or "8-12". Adults buying books in this section would expect your book not to contain sex, drugs, alcohol, etc, except in very careful circumstances.
• It is also relevant if your book is up for an award. I had a problem with this when The Highwayman's Footsteps was shortlisted in an 8-11 category, meaning that most of the young judges would be too young for it.
• You'll also need to consider how a book fits with your other books. How will you promote it if it's for a slightly different age group? This doesn't have to be a problem but you should not ignore it.

JUST WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN PRE-YA and YA WRITING?

As Amanda correctly suggested, they are not always consistent, firm or obvious. For obvious reasons: books and readers don't accept the type of categorization that wooden bookshelves demand. One eleven-year-old is not the same as another eleven-year-old and one ten-year-old can be more ready for certain subjects than some twelve-year-olds. Also, the YA / teenage section caters for everyone from twelve to sixteenish, and there's a huge difference between a twelve-year-old and a sixteen-year-old; not to mention the fact that plenty of ten/eleven-year-olds are reading the YA stuff.


WHAT ABOUT BOOKS THAT CROSS THE BORDERS?
Inevitably, and rightly, there are many books that could equally well appear in either section of a shop, and Pullman's Northern Lights trilogy is a perfect example. Ultimately, if the publisher has not made it clear in the catalogue, or if the book-seller disagrees, the book-seller will decide where to shelve your book. So it's entirely possible for me to find The Highwayman's Footsteps in the teenage section or the other one. The only reason I might somewhat prefer it in the teenage section is that that's where my other books are, apart from Chicken Friend. However, when I wrote it I did know that it could equally happily be read by a younger reader and should probably be in the younger section. My publishers and I did have quite a lot of discussion about this and I rather think we fudged the issue  - book-sellers and schools do like clear guidelines.

With the Pullman books, Amanda notes that the topic is "challenging" and suggests she'd put it in middle grade (ie the 9-12 section), but wonders if she's being paranoid that younger kids wouldn't get it. I think it's certainly true that some younger kids wouldn't get it - but a lot of older ones don't either, because the books have depth which some readers won't "get". But on balance, I'd put it in the 9-12 section for the same reasons as I give below, for the Highwayman's Footsteps issue. I personally don't think there's anything that makes it unsuitable for keen younger readers, but that's an opinion.

What was it about The Highwayman's Footsteps that made me feel that it should probably be in the younger-than-YA section?

• It's pure rip-roaring adventure, rather than angsty stuff (though YA doesn't have to be angsty, and teenagers love adventure, too)
• It doesn't contain any sex etc, or anything that a sensitive parent could object to.
• Just a feeling I had. And, frankly, that's all that matters: I was writing as though I was talking to particular readers and those particular readers were about 11, rather than about 15. They were my strongly imagined "ideal reader".

In a way, putting a book in the pre-YA section tells a buyer that this book is "safe" whereas a book in the YA section might be "risky" or contain something that a ten-year-old might not be ready for. And that's a vague concept, too...

Also, note my points about the safety-net factor in those linked YA posts above. The HF safety-net is far away but definitely there. Though I must apologise for the dead horse scene. And the leeches.

WHAT ABOUT OTHER AGE-BANDS?

The same applies: the author needs to have a strong feel for the desired audience. You should be an expert in the books that feel like the one you're writing. Read and read properly: note sentence length, page length, word length; language, topics, taboos, voice. Listen. Only that way will you not make horrible mistakes, mistakes which will leap out of the pages and make an agent roll around in derision before she reaches for that wood-burning stove door**...

** for clarity, the wood-burning stove is for her to throw your MS in, not to put her head in.

One thing I can say for certain: the book I'm writing now is definitely not for sensitive readers. Rape, murder, beatings and prostitution - I think we're talking teenage.

SUBMISSION SPOTLIGHT 8: picture book

This is the first picture book submission I've put up for a Submission Spotlight.

 (All illustrations copyright Beverley Johnston)


The 500 word rule doesn't apply for this, so I am showing you the covering letter, synopsis, and half* the text, along with some sample pictures. Please respect Beverley's copyright, particularly for the pictures: you may not reproduce them without her permission and she would be sensible not to give it except in certain circumstances!

(* Beverley sent me the whole text but I have chosen to reproduce only half  -  it's enough for you to judge, especially along with the synopsis.)

Beverley, says in her email to me: 

"The sample cover letter below is taken from the latest one penned for an agent who deals with both fiction and non-fiction. When sending to fiction only agents I obviously omit the proposals for non-fiction books. Looking back at it I'm wondering if it appears too pushy! But then I keep reading about 'self-promotion' so I'm keen to present myself in a positive light as an author/illustrator willing to go out and about delivering workshops and talks to both adults and children."

So, dear readers, what do you think?

________________________________________

Dear xxxxxxxxxx,

May I take this opportunity of introducing my work to you in the hope you will consider representing me as an author/illustrator. I would also like to present some additional information about myself and some ideas I have for developing a range of non-fiction children's art and craft books/sets, which I hope will convey to you my commitment to developing a career as an author/illustrator of both non-fiction and fiction books, and hence why I think you are ideally suited to represent me as my agent. 

As a founder member of the UK Coloured Pencil Society I have already had an art technique book published, The Complete Guide to Coloured Pencil Techniques (David and Charles 2003, which has since been translated into Taiwanese), and I have now started to write and illustrate children's picture books.

Due to the short word count I have attached a synopsis and complete manuscript for one of my picture books, Eddy's New Suit, plus 8 JPEGS depicting finished illustrations and photos taken from the fully working dummy book which is available to view.

Eddy’s New Suit (207 words) is a lift-the-flap novelty book for the 3+ year old age group. The inspiration for this book comes from the special relationship we form as a child with a favourite teddy or soft toy. The format for the book was inspired by the wonderful Dear Zoo by Rod Campbell. I believe the book would appeal to both parents and grandparents (especially Nannies who knit) and because of the resurgence in the ‘make do and mend' philosophy, and a new generation of knitters, the book is also very current in its subject matter.

 In addition to writing The Complete Guide to Coloured Pencil Techniques, I have also written articles for The Artist, The Leisure Painter, and The Artist and Illustrator magazines. I've demonstrated at the Artist and Illustrator Show (Olympia and the Business Design Centre, Islington) and taught coloured pencil workshops at Missendon Abbey Adult Education Centre, Aylesbury. More recently (since having my children) I have delivered a coloured pencil workshop to key stage 3 and 4 children at my local school. I have also exhibited with the Society of Wildlife Artists at the Mall Galleries, London.

Two aims of the UK Coloured Pencil Society include promoting the use of coloured pencils as a fine art medium, plus encouraging children to develop their artistic skills through the use of coloured pencils.  Coloured pencil manufacturers such as Derwent, Faber Castell and Caran D'ache etc are always open to marketing suggestions and often willing to work with artists to produce a range of educational materials, for both adults and children.

Although in the ideas stage of development I am keen to produce a range of technique books for children. Including flowers, cars, animals (pets and wildlife), and the human form, my technique can be adapted to produce fine art or stylised pictures. Projects would be kept small to suit a child's ability and by using easy to follow step-by-step stages children would be taught how to use coloured pencils and improve their drawing skills. Examples could then be used to develop a range of workshops for schools (and to support the national curriculum would combine writing and drawing for both fiction and non-fiction projects).

I would also love to see Eddy's New Suit be developed as an activity knitting set. I appreciate this may sound adventurous (in light of the fact it's yet to be published!) but my research has shown there is an increase in the number of people, including children, taking up knitting through the choice of books and craft kits available on the market. How many of them could resist knitting such a lovely warm jumper for such a well loved bear?!

With regards

Beverley Johnston



EDDY’S NEW SUIT
(Available as a fully working dummy book)
A 16 page lift the flap novelty book aimed at 3+ year olds (could also be developed as a touch/feel novelty book).

Synopsis

Eddy is a favourite teddy who has been cuddled so often his fur has become patchy and worn, so his owner decides to make him a
new suit.

The reader lifts the flaps to discover what suit Eddy is wearing. The bubble wrap suit is, ‘too spongy and squishy’; the holly leaves suit is ‘too prickly and spiky’, and the silver foil suit ‘too shiny and crinkly’.

None are right until the last flap, when he receives a very special woollen suit from Nanny. Which is just perfect!

Text (first 8 pages  -  half the full book)

Page 1-2
Eddy the Teddy’s my favourite bear,
but I’ve cuddled him so often his fur’s all patchy and worn,
so I’m going to make him a brand new suit!

Pages 3-4
I make him a suit out of . . . cardboard and tape.
But it’s too stiff and sticky,
so I take it off.

Pages 5-6
I make him a suit out of . . . grass and string.
But it’s too scratchy and itchy,
so I take it off.


Pages 7-8
I make him a suit out of . . . feathers.
But it’s too fluffy and tickly,
so I take it off.

(final four spreads supplied, not shown)

Note from NM  -  this next pic is not the suit of feathers, but the final pic

Comments, please, expecially from any published pic book writers out there.

Meanwhile, the Blog Baby announcement cometh  -  be here on Nov 4th!

WRITING FOR TEENAGERS

I did a talk at the Edinburgh Book Festival today about writing for teenagers and I promised** the participants that I'd put a fuller version of my notes here on my blog. Of course, devoted as I am to you all, I have not actually rushed back from Charlotte Square to do this - by the wonders of modern technology and forward-planning, I scheduled this post back when I wrote my notes. God, I'm clever. (PS - and, unlike other times, blogger graciously allowed me to do this.)

(** Actually, I forgot to promise this. But the intention was there.)

Anyway. Here's what I planned to say. Of course, it may have come out quite differently, since I tend to ignore my notes. Also, because my actual notes are just bullet-points, I have fleshed them out and turned them into sense. In fact, frankly, these are not really my notes at all. These are simply the words I imagine I might say if things go according to plan.

(Vivian French will have spoken before me, about writing for older children, ie 9-11s. I have no doubt she was brilliant - she's written enough books for kids of all ages and no one knows more than her.)

WRITING FOR TEENAGERS
The best way to understand how to write for them is to understand who they are. And who they are as readers. (Yes, they do read! In fact, those who read do so avidly and deeply, and want as wide a range of books as adults do.) Some successful authors say they don't particularly need to think about their readers when they write - Tim Bowler is a great example. He seems to have the perfect voice and interest-level for teenagers, without thinking about it. I suspect with him that it's all subconscious, and actually he's a big kid himself (he's a friend, so I can say that) so it comes naturally.

But the reason I think it's important is that, as the writer, you must know exactly what your teenage character would do /think / feel, otherwise you risk your story not ringing true. And teenagers can spot things that don't ring true a mile off - and will tell you about them. Ruthlessly.

ABOUT TEENAGERS:
Not children, not adults - so books are different from children's and adults'

• How are they different from children (and therefore books are different from children’s books)
  

1. Teenagers are (and should be) less protected - so we can’t pretend the world is rosy
2. They are interested in different things - different things affect, worry, intrigue them, especially the things they may have to deal with now or soon
   
3. They have a need for risk-taking / need to break rules - including reading books their parents don't like!
   
4. They hate moral messages, hate to be preached at
5. They can spot middle-aged voice - esp a m-aged voice pretending to be teenage

• How different from adults (and therefore adult books)

1. Teenagers are less patient, less forgiving of waffle; story must get straight to the point
   
2. They have some different interests (eg don't care about menopause/surviving on pension). remember that we have been teeangers and so are more naturally interested in them than they are in us
   
3. Teenage viewpoint essential to main character - and this MUST be an actual teenage viewpoint, not that of an adult looking back and remembering being a teenager
   

MUST CONSIDER THE GATE-KEEPERS - adults who buy the books and who choose what gets published and what goes in the shops / schools / libraries.

I believe anyone should read any book, whatever their age, but this is a genre, and you have to know the rules for that genre. There are boundaries you can’t cross, but it's hard to pin them down - you just know when you crossed them. If you're unpublished, it's your crossing of the boundaries which may raise alarm bells with an agent/editor that you don't know the market.

• Eg Deathwatch - this was always going to be about a stalker but I needed to nail right from the start that this was not paedophilia and had no sexual connotations at all.
  
• Eg my current planned WIP - about a celebrity-obsessed girl: I'm having trouble with the potential outcome because if she comes a cropper then the story is too trite and moral, but if (as I want) she gives two fingers to everyone's boring opinions, where’s my moral stance? I'm trying to find a way to be radical yet get past the gate-keepers. PS - I've now moved on a long way from this potential WIP and it's all completely different from how I started out.
  
• So, nothing can be gratuitous. Violence needs a context, a moral position; certain topics would be very hard to handle** - eg incest, paedophilia.
• Where you show any characters using eg violence or drug-taking, the outcome for those characters would need to be carefully handled.
• Certain elements may make your book regarded as a no-go by schools: Eg guns, swearing, sex, drugs - yet these are all topics are of interest to teenagers and therefore legitimately covered - but beware.

Extra point about these boundaries - the fact that a topic is hard to handle (eg incest /paedophilia) does not mean you can't handle it. It means you have to know exactly what you're doing. Read Tender Morsels by Margo Lanagan if you want to see what I mean! It is (in my view) utterly brilliant. It's the work of a phenomenal imagination and brilliantly handled.

The real point to hang onto is that everything has to be about the story. So, you don't write "about" eg violence - you tell a story, and if violence has to be in it, then it has to be in it. But the reader should never think you simply set out to ram violence at them to shock them.

THE SAFETY NET FACTOR - this is my little analogy to define a difference between writing for young children, older children, teenagers and adults;

• young children - barely any need for a safety-net , as you know nothing bad will happen. Safety-net more like soft-play ball-park
• older children - safety-net there: reader knows that even though it feels scary, nothing terrible will happen even if it seems as though it might as you slip off the rope
• teenagers - no visible safety-net: the reader feels that something terrible could happen. But, in fact, the safety-net is there because, even if the reader doesn't know it, the author cares. hope will not be destroyed.
• adults - no safety-net necessary, especially in some genres. The reader knows that anything could happen.

The skill of writing for teenagers is keeping the safety-net invisible.

SUGGESTED ROLE MODELS - because you MUST read the best in current successful fiction

• for the dark, deep and dangerous side: Kevin Brooks, Keith Gray, Catherine Forde
• two books that handle dangerous topics but get away with it because of the writers' skill: Looking for JJ (Anne Cassidy), Killing God (Kevin Brooks)
  
• gripping and fast: Ally Kennen, Catherine MacPhail
• fab for girls: Cathy Cassidy
• the epitome of boundary-breaking - Tender Morsels by Margo Lanagan
  

TIPS:

• Every sentence has one aim: to stop them going off to listen to their ipods
• Never sound like an adult telling them a story
• Never sound like an adult pretending to be a teenager telling them a story
• Avoid teenspeak - a) it'll be out of fashion next year and b) teenagers will laugh you out of town
  
• Get the practical details of teen life spot-on - account for mobile phones / internet etc
• Never preach or patronise
  
• Keep that safety-net invisible
• Get rid of the parents

That's it! No idea how I'm going to round it off but I've got some time yet ...

And do check out how I Define A Teenage Novel here and finally some Common Mistakes When Writing For Teenagers.

A LITTLE PRESENT FOR YOU

Hah! that got your attention. No, really, there is a present for you herein.

Two happy things happened to me today. First, I'm proud to say that my 100th follower registered on this blog. (Welcome, Suzette - but you do realise that the rules say that you have to take part in an initiation ceremony? I will let you know what we want you to do, once we've all decided behind your back, OK? Ideas, anyone?)

I almost feel like the Pied Piper with all those followers, but fear not: I have not been paid by agents and publishers to rid their letter-boxes of all unpublished authors; nor am I going to lead you a merry dance into a mountainside and leave you there. Though still as crabbit as ever, I plan to stay with you for much longer, because you are very good company and because I am waiting to hear that you have found a publisher / agent / both and that you are on your way to success. Well, you are on your way to success, we know that, but let's speed it up a bit, hey?

And second, my lovely publishers, Walker Books, sent a seriously cool screensaver as a free download to pass around amongst my teenage readers, but there's no rule that says you have to be a teenager to enjoy nasty iridescent beetles crawling across your screen, so I thought I'd share it with you.

So, if you would like it and/or if you have any offspring / friends / relatives / pupils who would like to have the latest coolness for their computer, then here 'tis. (Unless you're a Mac user, in which case I do have the file but can't see what to do with it.)

I hope you're not going to go all middle-aged on me and say you can't work out how to put it on your computer. Basically, you open the link,**** click on the download button, the thing magically saunters onto your desktop and you select "install", whereupon it asks you a couple of simple questions; then you do nothing at all for a few minutes and then beetles start crawling and smoke appears. Failing that, ask a teenager.

(****Edited to add: Er. not so basic, actually. I have just discovered that this is a TEMPORARY link and will die on about May 6th, and from then the screensaver will be available on the Walker website at www.walker.co.uk)

If you're one of those people who thinks that everything should have an educational point (what management bods apparently now call a "learning") then you can store in your adulty/parenty/teachery brain that the book features a girl who gives away way too much about herself on a social networking site and that this screensaver is not un-akin to but a million times more attractive than what appears on her computer when she unwittingly accepts the attentions of an insect-obsessed stalker. So, if I were to give any kind of message in my books, which I so absolutely wouldn't, it would be Be Safe Online, Kids.

Otherwise and preferably, just enjoy the pretty beetles.

Either the marketing people at Walker were enjoying themselves way too much or else they must quite like me because they've also provided a "viral bug" (it's not as dangerous as it sounds) which you (or a tech-savvy teenager) can put on your (their) phone and send to ... er ... someone. I think you can just right-click the pic and copy it to your desktop, then onto your phone. Or blue-tooth it. I did it so it can't be beyond the bounds of middle-aged possibility.(EDITED to add - this is now a new one, and works better: yes, I know, it just looks blank now but put it on your phone and woah!)


And if you want to know the really clever bit: when you actually put it on your phone, it dances. Yes, really.

Anyway, it was a happy day, which quite made up for the shocking weather. I know this is Britain, and that I am in the Scottish part of it, but really.

ANTI-GUFF RANT POSTPONED BY PLEONASMS

The best laid plans, etc. There I was, all set to have a good old rant about the guff spouted by arts organisations, and along comes something from an arts organisation that is actually useful and to the point. My guff-detector was rendered silent.

Honestly. I was sent some info about a project or three by an organisation called Hi-Arts (Hi = Highlands & Islands - as in "of Scotland") and found myself quickly shunted onto their website, from which I seamlessly garnered some crystalline and - pause for astonishment: after all, this is public money we're talking about and usually that means it's headed drainwards - practical resources for writers. Not a whiff of waffle.

Depending on who you are, you will have different needs and interests, but surely all of you fall into one or more of these categories:

1. You want to know how to write a great covering letter and synopsis and you'd like a leading agent (Jenny Brown) to tell you how.
2. You're a Scottish author interested in having a FREE, anonymous and professional critique of your WIP. (Are you still there? I know, it's hard to take in without hitting your head on the ceiling. But you do have to be Scottishish ...)
3. You're trying to break into the children's writing world and want some fab advice from leading literary agents and general founts of all knowledge of the genre, Fraser Ross Associates.
   
4. You are a writer of any sort and want to make sure that you're not littering your writing with pleonasms and really want Allan Guthrie to explain it to you.
5. You don't know what a pleonasm is ....

Links to clear guidelines on all these things are to found here, on a single page. Yes, an arts org that doesn't hide its info deep in the recesses of a labyrinthine website designed to fool anyone with a normal brain and less than four years to find the right page.

It really is quite remarkable. And now I'm going to lie down in a darkened room and work out how I can justify a major rant about arts organisations. I will find a way. They will not defeat me.

And please don't analyse this post for all the pleonasms. This is a blog, not a literary novel, and besides, I'm self-publishing it and it's well-known that self-published work has a tendency to be less rigorously edited than other work ...