What has Twitter ever done for you? (With a competition)

This post is to launch the NEW, updated version of Tweet Right. But wasn't the first one as perfect as a perfect thing? Well, of course. But then Twitter and Tweetdeck screens changed and suddenly there were bits in Tweet Right which no longer precisely applied. I'd wanted to be able to say, "You'll find that button to the top right of your screen" or, "It's the icon that looks like a red banana", but suddenly those instructions made me look as though I'd been hallucinating. Even when I hadn't.

RESOURCES FOR ONLINE PLATFORM-BUILDING

Today I'm speaking at the Society of Authors conference in Edinburgh. My topic is Building an Online Platform and I will first be explaining to the audience that in forty minutes it is impossible to say even a decent fraction of what they need to know, and therefore that I will be putting a small resource list on my blog.

So, here it is! It is only supposed to be a starting point for beginners and to follow on from what I will have said in my talk, but do feel free to add things in the comments.

TWEET RIGHT IS HERE! YES, NOW!

It's here! Where? There! Where?

HERE!

Last Tuesday I announced that I would announce the publication date of Tweet Right - The Sensible Person's Guide to Twitter very soon. (I couldn't say when, because I didn't know when it would actually be up there on Amazon.) When I realised that it was up there, looking good, it became the worst secret in the world over the weekend, when people discovered that it was available. I asked them how and it turned out that already if you went on Amazon and search for books to help with Twitter, Tweet Right was coming up. It was No 22 in general non-fiction books, and that was before I'd told anyone it was there!

Anyway, I reckon that at £2.74 (on Kindle) it's a bargain for people who want to know how to navigate Twitter and retain their sanity. The price for other devices will vary a little depending on where you buy it. (It will be available soon in ibookstore and elsewhere, for all devices. Currently Kindle only.)

Remember that you do NOT need a Kindle to read a Kindle book. Just download the free software from Amazon and you can read it on your computer, phone or ipad.

I have three things for you to celebrate publication and to thank you for your patience.

THING NUMBER ONE

#TweetRightComp - with 1st prize of a signed copy of any of my books plus a crabbit bag, and three runner-up prizes of crabbit bags, this competition starts NOW and ends Tuesday Aug 23rd at midday (UK time) with the winners being announced during the party that evening. (See below.)

Your task, should you choose to accept, is this:

In a single tweet (with no cheating by using twitlonger - grrr) and including the hashtag #TweetRightComp, sum up your feelings about or impressions of Twitter. Or how would you describe it to someone who has never tried it?

Enter as many times as you like, as long as your entry is different each time (and different by more than a word or two). I say this only because you'll bore the pants off us if you keep repeating the same point.

Valid entries will be put through Random Generator, to find winners.

THING NUMBER TWO

#TwitterAngels - not heard of them? That's because we've just invented them. Becky had the idea of matching newbies up with someone who would "buddy" them during their first steps on Twitter, and I chhose the #TwitterAngels name.

And? And here's what to do. If you are already on Twitter and know your way around, add your name to a comment below, saying you'd like to BE a TwitterAngel. If you would like to use a TwitterAngel, add a comment saying you'd like to HAVE a TwitterAngel. Then, match up with each other! It's up to you. When possible, Angels should try to use the #TwitterAngels hashtag on Twitter, just so that more people hear about it. Later on, if people want an explanation of #TwitterAngels after this post has drifted off the page, you'll see it on the Tweet Right page at the top of the blog. There's no time limit to this scheme.

THING NUMBER THREE

#TweetRightParty
You are all invited! Next Tuesday, Aug 23rd, on Twitter, 6.30pm (UK time) till late. By that time, you will have read Tweet Right - :)) - so you'll know how to use hashtags and how to create the #TweetRightParty column so you can have fun with everyone else even if you don't already follow them. (The party will be a great way to find new people to follow and follow you.) Lots of my Twitter friends will be there to help you. And I'll announce the #TweetrightComp winners.

And, if you don't know what to do, ask your TwitterAngel :)

Do please buy the book. And if you know anyone thinking about joining Twitter or who has tried but not got into it, or who wonders why anyone should bother, do send them towards the book. It has already had a terrific response, with even seasoned Tweeters saying they've learnt things.

Tweet right - there's no other way.

TWEET RIGHT COMETH!

And about time, too, I hear you say! Well, I was going to publish it in September but the nagging demand has been increasing so I thought, why wait? It's nearly ready, I'm nearly ready, the Edinburgh Book Festival is nearly starting. The designer - Andrew Brown of Design for Writers, @abaloo on Twitter - has finished the wonderful cover. I've ordered promotional cards and dreamed up activities and a COMPETITION.

Plus, I get more and more annoyed by twittish things spoken about Twitter by those who don't know what they're talking about, mainly because a) they aren't on it and b) they only know what they read in the Telegraph. (*rolls eyes and yawns*)

Also, I had a flick through a sample of Grace Dent's book, How To Leave Twitter. I thought it was going to be about how to leave Twitter (well, duh) but soon realised it wasn't. It was a just a way of illustrating the obvious truth that, if you hang out with really irritating people on Twitter, you will end up having a really irritating time. Which is exactly like real life: hang out with tossers, and you won't be happy. It also seems to me not unlikely that if you spend your time on Twitter being obsessed with following celebrities you may end up wanting to stick needles in your eyes. Anyway, just in case readers of her book think everyone behaves like an idiot on Twitter (not that she does, by the way, despite the implications of the book's blurb), I thought I'd better get my guide for nice sensible people out asap.

"When? WHEN?" I hear you cry.

Soon. Soon. Very, very soon. No, really. I hearby announce that Tweet Right will be available (on Kindle first - or, of course, on the free Kindle app for ipad, pc, laptop, Mac or iphone - followed shortly by all other ebook devices) ... soon. It will leap out at you when you least expect it. That's my plan. It's an exercise in reverse-marketing: DON'T TELL THEM, PIKE.

How will you know when it's available? Because I will tell you. Here and on Twitter. And if you bump into me in the Edinburgh Book Festival or on the streets of Edinburgh in the next three weeks, I will tell you. And there will be a party with games and a competition and sparkly wine and all sorts of goodness.

And you will ALL be invited!

And here's a clue: today is designated #TweetRightTuesday. Because special Tweetrighty things will happen on Tuesdays. Why? Because I say so.

Meanwhile, I have a Tweet Right taster sample for you here.

Meanwhile, meanwhile during: do tell anyone who wants help getting the hang of Twitter that help cometh. And there will also be angels - #TwitterAngels. All will be revealed!

#lessinteresting books - YOUR CRABBIT OLD BAT TOPS TWITTER TREND

OK, so you know I'm a Twitter fan. Hell, I'm writing a book on the subject (which is why I recently took down my series of how-to-tweet posts). But yesterday something very unexpected happened to me on Twitter. It was entirely unplanned but, by chance, it brought followers and attention. Oh, and people berated me for embroiling them in a hopelessly addictive game.

A few minutes after the tweets saying I was No 2 in the US, this screenshot shows #lessinterestingbooks at No 1 worldwide

This is the strange story of how your very own Crabbit accidentally created the No 1 worldwide trending topic on Twitter. It was just a game but it's still going strong the following morning and I have no idea when, or how, it will stop. I have created a monster.

It is a game called #lessinterestingbooks

It knocked Cheryl Cole off (sorry) the No 1 slot. Was way ahead of Ryan (who he?) Giggs. OK, so in the US you probably haven't heard of them - though you would have heard of Cheryl Cole if you'd been able to understand her and she hadn't been removed... Oh, for goodness' sake, I am not here to talk about her.

Here's what happened.

I was on Twitter during my coffee break. (In answer to my husband, who said, "Why weren't you working?") And someone mentioned reading Lord of the Flies. But I briefly misread that as Lord of the Files. And I thought how much less interesting the book would have been if it had been called Lord of the Files.

Such is the incredible profundity of this creative mind. Not that I didn't have a lot more important things to do than becoming No 1 on Twitter, of course.

So, I tweeted: Lord of the Files #lessinterestingbooks

I followed up with something like Jude the Fairly Obvious #lessinterestingbooks

Within seconds, people were joining in. Within about half an hour someone told me that the game was No 2 in the UK trending charts. Soon after, it was No 1 worldwide. Excuse me while I retrieve my jaw from somewhere south.

The world had gone mad. If you searched the phrase #lessinterestingbooks, the tweets in that stream were coming so fast you could barely read them. Twelve hours later they are still coming way too fast to read. I actually think they are getting faster. It is still No 1 in every English-speaking country and varies between No 1 and 2 worldwide as a whole.

And all because I misread Lord of the Flies. Thank goodness for near-dyslexia, eh?

So, apart from a) wasting a bit of time and b) making thousands (hundreds of thousands? Oh, the power!) of others waste some time, what did I achieve?

Hmmm. Some new followers, but I don't go looking for them anyway and i don't measure success on Twitter by number of followers. Some people who might buy my books? Maybe. (Go on - you know you want to!) Fun? Oh yes. Something to blog about? Well, you're here, aren't you? Food for thought? Yup, indeedy. Money? ;((((((((((((

I impressed my family anyway. They never thought I'd be No 1 worldwide for anything.

But so what? Didn't I just waste my time and that of others? Well, not necessarily. One thing leads to another. What that other might be, I don't yet know. (*taps fingers*) The jury is absolutely still out on whether there will be any positive results other than impressing my family. But I didn't do it for that. I did it on a creative whim and if something comes of that then that's the point of creative whims. It's for others to analyse what happened today and what it means for viral marketing campaigns. I found it interesting (intellectually - and I'm still theorising about it, vaguely), inspiring, weird, fascinating, stimulating, confusing and a whole load of fun.

Fun? What, you'd like to join in? Come on....

Animal Allotment #lessinterestingbooks
The Grapes of Mild Irritation #lessinterestingbooks
Jude the Fairly Obvious #lessinterestingbooks
To Slightly Bruise a Mockingbird #lessinterestingbooks
The Slight Peckishness Games #lessinterestingbooks
Mediocre Expectations #lessinterestingbooks
Mein Kampsite #lessinterestingbooks
War and Peas #lessinterestingbooks

Go on - you know you want to! Oh, and let's have a prize - a crabbit bag is on offer for an entry picked at random from comments below. Deadline is midday (UK time) 1st June - publication day of Write to be Published, as if you didn't know...

Edited to add; the game is now also on Facebook.

TWEET RIGHT

Are you on Twitter? If you are, and if you tweet nicely, I have an opportunity for you. If you're not on Twitter but are thinking about it, or you are but aren't really sure what you're doing there or why, I am planning something for you, too. Gosh, I'm kind to you!

For that latter category of Twitter virgins and novices: I am writing a bookette about why and how to use Twitter, growing from some blogposts I did about it some time ago and which gained a great response. I will be self-publishing it as an ebook when it's ready.

For those of you who are already tweeting away: at the end of the book I want to list a whole load of friendly, useful people to follow on Twitter, so I thought I'd give you all the chance, if you wish, to pitch a tiny bit about yourselves and be added to the list.

Please note: I reserve the right to be selective. So, who am I likely to ignore?

• purely commercial organisations, apart from bookshops; if you tweet personally, that's fine but please make your pitch reflect this
• anyone who I think won't contribute to the positive Twitter experience of my readers
• spammers
• hyper-self-promoters - if I read your tweets and feel that the vast majority of them are plugging yourself rather than engaging, I will ignore you
  
• Also, please do NOT include any links - if people want to find you they can go to your Twitter page and find any website there.

NB: if I am inundated, I will have to be even more selective.  So, take time to pitch yourself wisely, bearing in mind that this list is supposed to be a service to people reading the book, and that the book is aimed at people on Twitter as individuals or self-employed (rather than businesses) and those genuinely interested in other people.

Here's what to do. Start with your chosen category (list below), then your Twitter name, then no more than twenty words about you. Put it in a comment below. That's it! Please set it out exactly as per my example below, otherwise I will be crabbit.

Here's my example:

Writer: Published Author - @nicolamorgan - Writes, speaks & blogs. Award-winning author of 90 books. Aka The Crabbit Old Bat, who blogs crabbitly for aspiring writers. [Then put title of book in brackets, as per instruction below]

CATEGORIES - please pick one only, even if several apply:
If you fall into two or more categories, simply refer to the others within your blurb, if you wish. Eg if you've chosen the category "Writer - Published Author", you might say within your blurb, "Romantic novelist, also reviews books on blog..." or "Children's writer, also freelance journalist..." If you aren't sure what category to choose (though it IS your choice) then ask in a comment.

NB For writers, you'll notice I'm being strict about which category of writer you are in. I don't mean to be divisive about this but it's for the benefit of people reading the book and choosing who to follow. It's factual, not judgmental. Don't accuse me of not respecting quality self-publishing - after all, I'm about to do it myself for this book!

Writers: Published Author - if you have had (or have a deal for) at least one book published by a selective publisher. This does not include setting up your own publishing company to publish your book - not that there's anything wrong with that, but this category is specifically for traditionally published, selected writers. (Please add the name of one of your eligible books after your blurb - ie that's not counted in the word count but is for my information.)

Writers: Self-published - if you have published yourself (and this must be for a paid-for book, not a free ebook) or set up a company for the purpose, or if you have paid anything towards the cost of publication.

Writers: Freelance - if you make money from writing eg articles or short-stories and are regarded as self-employed for tax purposes.

Aspiring writers - if you are working towards becoming one of the above.

Arts organisation

Writing magazine  / other resource

Working in publishing industry - eg editor, agent, marketing expert

Bookshop - please say what country you are in



Writing as a hobby - and if you also have a paid occupation, do say if you wish in your blurb


Other creatives - eg artist, musician, jewellery designer

Book reviewers or bloggers - whether professionally or as a hobby

Self-employed - in a different capacity from anything mentioned above; obviously you can then say what you do in your blurb, if you wish

Nice, friendly and fun - because you may feel this is your main reason for being on Twitter, and you are most welcome!

Is there another category you think should be there?

Now, please add yourself to the comments below and then do go and follow each other if you're not already doing so. It doesn't matter whether you're new to Twitter or an old hand - all levels are welcome. Just tweet nicely and positively.

Please note: I make no guarantee or promise to include anybody at all in this book. It is possible (though unlikely) that the whole idea of a list of tweeters will be unwieldy or for some other reason undesirable. However, if that happens, at least you'll all be recorded below this post and people can come and find you here. Simples.

TWITTER FOR AUTHORS - PART 5: HASHTAGS and #FF

This is one of my temporarily removed and now temporarily reinstated posts giving tutorials on Twitter. Please note that my forthcoming short ebook will do this much better and more conprehensively and more clearly! If I were you, I'd wait...

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After my post on Sept 11th, I hope you've all got lots of followers now. Or at least a small but perfectly-formed crowd.

Today's lesson is hashtags, and the most well-known one, #ff or #FollowFriday. (And it's Friday tomorrow, so you have one day to prepare!)

First, if you haven't already, please read my earlier posts re Twitter  - here, here and here - and make sure that you are using Tweetdeck, which is explained in the first of those. As I've said before, you don't have to use Tweetdeck, but if you don't my instructions won't make sense.

HASHTAGS (#)

The clever computery people behind Twitter use the # to enable anyone to collect all examples of a word/phrase with a # in front of it. When you search on a #, you will also see relevant tweets from people you do not follow, which you would not otherwise see. (Stay with me - this is going to become clearer.)

Let me give you an example. Before my Edinburgh Book Festival Twitter/blogging workshop, I decided to create a hashtag for it, partly so that I could show my workshoppees and partly because I wanted to ask a question that would go round the twitterverse and allow me to see all the answers collected in one place. I needed to choose a hashtag word/phrase that no one had ever used, otherwise some of the results would be irrelevant. (I checked this by searching on a couple of possibilities until I found one with no results.) The one I chose was #NicolaTwitterWorkshop. I then told people this, in a tweet. For example, I probably tweeted something like:

What do u all love / hate reTwitter? Need to know for my edbookfest workshop - please use #NicolaTwitterWorkshop to join in

Within seconds, people were tweeting their replies and I could see all the tweets (when people remembered to include #NicolaTwitterWorkshop) appearing in one column on my Tweetdeck screen. (Instructions follow.)

You will see how this works by doing this:

1. In Tweetdeck, click on the circle with a + in the middle. ("Add New Column") In the search box, type #NicolaTwitterWorkshop and click Search.
2. A few seconds later, a new column appears, which may or may not have anything in it, depending on whether anyone recently said anything using that hashtag. (In some versions of Tweetdeck the columns clear themselves after a certain amount of time. During the workshop itself there was HUGE and amusing activity!)
3. If YOU now write a tweet, including the #NicolaTwitterWorkshop, you will see your tweet first go into the All Friends column, and a few seconds later into the new column.

NB - this will ONLY make sense if you are using Tweetdeck.

What is the point of this?

Mainly, it means that anyone can have a conversation, open to all, on a particular topic, over a period of time. The conversation can continue for as long as people want. If it becomes very popular, we say it has "trended". Anyone can start a new hashtag. Suppose you were particularly annoyed or fascinated by something; you could create a hashtag and start tweeting. If it was interesting or topical enough, people might join in. (I don't recommend you start any until you've seen a few working, though. Also, you can perfectly well enjoy and use Twitter without ever starting a hashtag conversation.)

Some other uses of hashtags:

Games - for example, there's a game called #cheesebooks - you just think of the name of a book, change the title slightly so that it sounds like a cheese and tweet it with #cheesebooks in the tweet. For example, Gorgonzolaghast. Yeah, really pointless but it can be funny. Just a game while you're taking a break! These games are ongoing, and, again, anyone can invent one.

Directed conversations on a topic, at set times in the week. (Though they also continue outside those times.) For example #litchat (about books) and #writechat (about writing). To be honest, I've forgotten what times these take place. They are like the "old" chat-rooms and I don't much enjoy them - I gave up a while ago after a few experiences of being bored or infuriated by lack of knowledge shown of the industry. There are a lot of unpublished writers saying things that just aren't true, though of course there's sense spoken as well. I just get a bit frustrated by the silly bits, and don't see why I should use my leisure time to put people right. I may have just been unlucky - I admit I didn't often try. I suggest you try and see for yourself. Just do a search on each one, following the instructions above, to set up a new column. (You can delete columns whenever you want.)

Arcane Twitter "humour" - I'm not sure if I can explain this one, as it is an example of arcane Twitter language. Just take my word for it. It involves the creation of a tongue-in-cheek hashtag which you have no intention that anyone should repeat, though they might. For example, suppose you were to tweet, "Just saw a pigeon moonwalking" you might add a hashtag such as #drinkhasnotbeentaken or #itsamadworld or #whereisdavidattenboroughwhenuneedhim? So, the hashtag becomes a way of commenting on your own tweet, as a sort of aside.

And finally, #FollowFriday, or #ff...

Every Friday, everyone becomes a bit manic and starts recommending people to follow. There are two ways to do this: the wrong way and the right way.

• The wrong way involves simply saying #ff, followed by a long list of Twitter names of people you recommend following. Most Twitter experts - ie people with lots of followers and lots of people to follow - will take not a blind bit of notice, so this is a very ineffective way of doing it. I NEVER bother to look at anyone in any of those lists. Ever.

• The right way involves saying WHY you are recommending this person (or few people). For example, "#ff people who review and blog about books @name @name @name" etc. People will take more notice of this because it gives them a reason to know whether or not they should bother following. So, I might use categories such as "#ff these new writers on Twitter......." or "#ff people who have made my week happy ......". It just makes it more personal and gives others a reason for bothering to check the person out and follow them.

It's polite to say thank you when someone includes you in an #ff but it's not always possible / practical / easy if several people have #ffd you, or if you were away or couldn't get access to Twitter. So, don't fret if you can't.

Which reminds me that it's also polite to thank someone for RTing (retweeting - are you keeping up? I talked about that in the second post, I think.)

Edited to add: as Mary Hoffman points out, when you follow someone or are followed by them, go and see who THEY follow. That way, you can find like-minded people to follow - and be followed by.


Here ends this lesson on Twitter. Is there anything else you'd like me to cover? I know someone asked about lists, and maybe I should cover that, but it doesn't quite seem fascinating enough. :(

One thing I do want to cover though is what makes me decide to follow or not follow someone on Twitter. I'm reminded of this every day when I see the biogs of new followers and I thought it might be interesting to think about things that attract people and things that don't. There are certain things that hugely put me off, though everyone will be different, I know.

Happy tweeting!

TWITTER FOR AUTHORS - PART 4: NEW FOLLOWERS

This is one of my temporarily removed and now temporarily reinstated posts giving tutorials on Twitter. Please note that my forthcoming short ebook will do this much better and more conprehensively and more clearly! If I were you, I'd wait...

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Just a quick one - me doing you a favour rather than trying to tell you anything. I have removed my teacher hat for a few days.

Some of you are powering ahead as though born to tweet and others are taking it more gently. No problem - this is neither race nor competition. If you feel you're still quite a Twitter newbie and you'd like more followers, add a friendly comment to the bottom of this and if you do it right, you might collect some more. Do follow people back if you think they might be interesting or fun or nice or whatever. NB - this is only for people genuinely interested in books, writing and reading. And the comments will close when I think there are enough comments here.

ALSO, this is not an open-invitation to pesky spammers - any inappropriate (imho) comments will be removed. It is a genuine offer to help you make contacts. In your comment, say a little bit about yourself and include your Twitter name. TRY to keep your comment to around about the length of a tweet.

I'm going to be writing about hashtags, conversations and #FollowFriday in the next post in my Twitter series, scheduled for Thursday 16th Sept, so please make sure you're using Tweetdeck - I need you to have read this post and this one, before the next lesson can make sense.

(I am away at the moment - Brussels with Mr M, checking out the shops and chocolate possibilities in our first holiday for two years - but I have my trusty assistant, Catherine, keeping an eye on things. So, play nicely, please. And no, I'm not bringing you back any chocolate at all, OK?)

TWITTER FOR AUTHORS - PART 3: TWEETING IN THE VOID

This is one of my temporarily removed and now temporarily reinstated posts giving tutorials on Twitter. Please note that my forthcoming short ebook will do this much better and more conprehensively and more clearly! If I were you, I'd wait...

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If you've read my first Twitter post, you'll know WHY you might want to be on Twitter if you're a writer. And if you've read the second one here, you'll already have a small list of people to follow to get you started. (Please do make sure you've done that before going on, or things won't make sense.)

Now, we're going to get started with some actual tweeting, which is the way to attract a few followers and start to feel the benefits. I call it Tweeting in the Void, because since you don't have many followers yet, it can feel as though no one's listening. But, combining some basic techniques of following and tweeting is the best way to begin to get followers and start to enjoy the benefits of Twitter. Do, please, be patient.


First, because I'm using Tweetdeck, I need to make sure that you've got started properly on that. (There is nothing wrong with sticking with the basic Twitter page, but it's less easy to see what's going on or identifying when people are specifically talking to you.)

TWEETDECK - GETTING STARTED - NB there are older and newer versions of Tweetdeck and I hope what I'm going to say corresponds to yours. If not, please say if you can't find how to do it. A bit of playing around should sort you, though.

1. Once you have your normal Twitter account, download Tweetdeck (from tweetdeck.com) and follow the instructions to sign into it, using your Twitter name and password. When you've done this, your screen should have three columns, titled: All Friends, Mentions, and Direct Messages.
2. All Friends shows anything tweeted by someone you follow, with the most recent first. Mentions shows anything in which someone used YOUR Twitter name (always with @ in front of it) - these are people who have chosen to include you in a conversation, ask you a question, say hello, or "Retweet" (more later) something you've already said. It's a way of attracting your attention and you need to remember this because it's also how YOU will attract someone else's attention. Direct Messages are private messages to you, but no one can send one to you if you aren't following them, so you are very unlikely to get many at first. I caution against ever putting anything very confidential in these, as it is far too easy to click the wrong button and send it to the world...
3. Now, I want you to add a 4th column - New Followers. To do this: near the top left corner of your screen, you'll see a circle with a + in it. Click this. A small screen will appear and you'll see a list of three things: Search, Groups/Lists and Core. Select Core. Select the option that says New Followers. (You can also select anything else you want - Tweetdeck Recommends might be helpful, but I'm not going to talk about it - it's simple enough to play with these things.)
4. So, now you have a 4th column on your screen, showing the most recent people who have chosen to follow you. (Maybe no one yet!) If there's anyone there, you will see that you now have the chance to choose whether to follow them back. (Can you see the "follow" button to the bottom right of each one?) You will see a little biog for each person and you can click on their name (bottom left of each one) to see whether you'd like to follow them. When you click on their name, you will have the option to read their recent tweets and this will alert you to anything dodgy. At your stage, I recommend you DO follow unless it is someone who you definitely don't like the sound of, or someone selling stuff. 
5. One more thing you need to do, for your own sanity - switch off the bloody Tweetdeck alerts, otherwise you'll have a stupid bird cheeping at you every time someone you follow tweets. Go to Settings - the spanner icon, top right - choose "Detail OFF", "Summary OFF" and put the volume slider to the left-most position. Sorted!
6. Play about with the various icons for a while so that you can see what they do.

GETTING FOLLOWERS

Until you have followers, no one can hear what you say. (Unless you "mention" them, which I'll come to in a minute.) The way to start is by following people - people who you want to make contact with or at least listen to. (Simply using Twitter to listen to others, without joining in, is perfectly reasonable.) It's important to remember that one big difference between Facebook and Twitter is that no permission is required. So, you choose to follow someone and they don't have to approve this. (They can block you but they would only bother to do this if you were annoying them.)

So, getting followers has two main elements:

1. Finding people to follow, and following them - because there's a good chance they'll follow you back, as long as they can see that you're not unpleasant or irritating.
2. Tweeting things that people might find interesting, friendly, fun, relevant to them - then they might choose to follow you and possibly recommend you to their friends to follow. If someone sees you having a friendly conversation with someone they follow, they will probably follow you too. You then need to maintain those contacts by continuing to tweet in a postive, friendly and useful way.

Before I go on, let me give you my overall advice about enjoying Twitter: although Twitter is not exactly the same as a face-to-face environment, it rather closely mirrors they way we make friends and contacts in real life. So, as with any physical context, the best thing to do is not to leap in shouting, but to watch a bit, and find your way into the language and etiquette. People on Twitter usually want to make friends and will usually be welcoming, but the same sort of things are annoying on Twitter as in real life: boasting, demanding, only talking about yourself, not listening to others, being loud-mouthed and boring etc. The advantage of Twitter is that it's very easy to ignore someone or something that you don't like and very easy to chat with someone you do like.

FINDING PEOPLE TO FOLLOW - three main options

1. Start with the list in my blog-post here. (To find one of them, on the Tweetdeck screen find the icon which when you hover over it says Quick profile; click it and paste or type the name into the box. The profile will come up and you'll see an icon to click to follow them.)
2. Visit blogs you like and click on the "Follow on Twitter" link which you will very often find there.
3. Visit the Twitter profile of someone you follow and who seems to have lots of useful / friendly contacts, and follow any of the people you find there. For example, if you went to my Twitter page (https://twitter.com/nicolamorgan) you would see on the right-hand side an option to click on the list of my followers. They then appear in a list and you can click on any name to see who they are. There is a button to allow you to follow any you choose. (You can also find out what recent tweets I or any followers have recently made, so that you can see how we behave.)

There are other ways to find followers, but I think this is enough for now, because I want you to start tweeting!

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT WHEN WE TALK ON TWITTER

1. If you've just read or seen something funny, weird or interesting online, you can say so and include the link. (You will find a way of shortening the link - paste or type the URL into the writing space as normal; then, if it doesn't automatically shorten, click the button that looks like a link with two arrows. Experiment if you can't find it.)
2. If you've read a book and loved it, say so, with a link to it if poss. If you happen to know that the author is on Twitter (see their web page) add their Twitter name (remember the @ sign). If you didn't like the book, I urge you not to say so - the author and all his/her friends are probably on Twitter too...
3. Say something TO someone you follow. This appears in his/her Mentions column. For example, you could say, "@nicolamorgan thanks for your blog post about Twitter - I'm having loads of fun with it!" Then I will see it and almost certainly say thank you - and follow you if I'm not already!
4. Another type of mention would be to say something ABOUT someone you follow. Eg "I saw @hprw at the EdinburghBkFest and she was fab" 
5. Say something interesting you've just done or something that's just happened. Clearly, not everyone will be interested, but someone might be. For example, perhaps you're on your way to the theatre - if you tweet about it, you might find someone else went to see the same play and say so. In the same way as you might tell a group of freinds that something interesting / funny / horrible / frightening  has just happened, you can do the same on Twitter. (Don't be offended if no one replies - it's not compulsory and they just might have missed your tweet.)
6. Anything funny that's happened is always fun for people to see. I find a great deal of good material on train journeys. I once found someone on the same train because we were both tweeting about an incident.
7. You can send a photo - especially if you've just witnessed something odd or interesting in some way. See the camera icon on the Tweetdeck screen.
8. You could ask a question  - but don't ask something that you could easily find on the internet yourself.
9. If you have blogged about something, make sure you put it on twitter. (There's a way of automatically linking your blog to twitter, but I don't have time to deal with that just now.)
10. Reply to someone's tweet. Hover your mouse over the person's icon and choose the one that says Reply. You will see their name appear in the writing space. Write your message and click send. It will appear in their Mentions column and they will often reply to you. (Don't be upset if they don't - if it's someone with lots of followers or if they just didn't feel it needed a reply, or were too busy, it's not rude not to reply.) 
11. RETWEET someone's tweet - see below.

RETWEETING

This is one of the most useful things to know about communicating on Twitter. It's something you can do straightaway and people like it. What happens is this:

1. You see that someone has said something that you agree with or like in some way. (Or disagree with, if you want to be bold...) For example, they say something funny; or they include a link which you like. 
2. To Retweet (RT) it, hover your mouse over the person's picture on that tweet; one of the options says Retweet so-and-so's tweet. Click this. 
3. In the writing space, you'll see that the whole tweet has been copied there, with the letters RT at the beginning. You will also see two options: Retweet now or Edit then Retweet. Choose the edit one. Now, ideally, you add something to the beginning, even something short like Yes! or  Ha! BUT, what if the tweet is now too long? You will need to cut it down. Shorten anything you can or remove something that's not necessary. Don't leave it so that the original writer might be misinterpreted though...
4. Then click send. The orginal writer will now see this, and probably be grateful to you for RTing it.

THINGS TO AVOID

1. Anything inflammatory, or anything critical of another writer or anyone else you'd prefer not to upset. It's really, really not the place to tell someone you don't like their book. 
2. Asking an individual to do anything. I cannot emphasise enough how wrong it would be to pitch a novel to an agent or publishing person on Twitter. Sometimes people ask me to blog about something - that's fine. I don't know why that's fine, but it is...
3. I recommend you do not link your Facebook personal page to Twitter - your FB friends will get pretty peed off because tweets are usually more informal and more frequent than FB updates. (An FB "author page" is a different matter.)
4. Too much whingeing and negativity isn't ideal. If something's going wrong in my life I'd rather keep that to close friends and family and many people say the same, that Twitter is not the place to offload too much. Exasperation and grumpiness are different, because they can be amusing, but it's very hard for acquaintances to feel they can properly support someone who is going through a hard time. I am not being harsh - I'm a very willing listening ear for my friends, but I don't think public forum is the right place for it. 
5. Anything you might regret. Just be careful. Don't tweet after too much alcohol. Or when angry or hurt. ANYONE might see your tweet and even though you can delete it it will be too late. If someone has seen it and retweeted it, you can't rectify the situation. It is best to remember all the time that absolutely anyone might see your tweets, even if they don't follow you.
6. Too much promotion and boasting. Off course, when something good happens, your friends want to know, and many of your friends are on Twitter, but,as with a face-to-face encounter, there are ways of doing it that are going to put people off or not. The nicest thing is when someone else announces your good news and then you can say thank you. 

WHAT NEXT? Another time, I'll cover hashtags, followfridays and avoiding spam. Anything else I need to cover?

One thing I haven't mentioned at all is whether you need a phone to do all this. The answer is no, but an internet enabled phone will certainly give you much more chance to make use of Twitter.

Finally, I've said this before but I'll say it again: be patient. Making face-to-face relationships and contacts takes time and it's just the same with Twitter. But, in my opinion, it's well worth it and most people seem to enjoy it if they want to. But it does take time and it may be time you don't want to spend. It is entirely up to you.

TWITTER FOR AUTHORS - PART 2: BEGIN TO FOLLOW

Please note that Tweet Right will be published as an ebook very soon and will cover this information much more clearly and elegantly and in much more detail. Details at the top of the blog.

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I wasn't planning to do this but so many of you joined Twitter after my earlier post today that it seemed to me that the best way to do a quick and useful follow up would be to put a list of suggested people to follow. These are either writers, keen readers, publishing people or just interested in the whole bookworld thang. They are all friendly and will make you welcome. (If you happen to notice any agents or publishers on the list DO NOT pitch to them. If they think that's what you're after, they'll run a mile. And block you.)

Please don't be offended if you're not on this list - I'm in a hurry so this is simply taken from the list of people I've most recently corresponded with on Twitter, and I can say I like what I know of them all. If there are any axe-murderers amongst them, they are hiding it well.

In no particular order and it's up to you to check out their profile to see why you would want to follow them:

@hprw  @caroleagent @Gillian_Philip @MikeJarman @MarshallBuckley @EffieMerryl @burn2write @cat_clarke @CatONineTales @rebeccaebrown @helen_kara @hmhunt  @lucycoats @marymhoffman @EdinBookshop @scottishbktrust @janjonesauthor @KatieFforde @AbsoluteWrite @agnieszkasshoes @AmandaPCraig @allanguthrie @bahtocancer @benjohncock @marisabirns @Pamreader @SCallejo @jesserowen @lovereadingx @Quillers @catdownunder @sleepycatt   @Danoosha @fidunbar @strachanlinda

 Once you are following them, some of them will follow you. You don't then have to do anything unless you are ready, though sending them a message (*not a private one) saying thank you is good idea. (Simply write a tweet that says, for example, "Thanks to @Gillian_Philip for the follow - am new to this!" And that's it, till either a) you want to play around or b) I get round to the next lesson...

And in answer to an earlier question along the lines of "Am on Tweetdeck - now what the heck do I do?" - don't panic! All will become clear.

*The reason I say NOT a private one - known as Direct Message or DM - is that it can be a tad annoying to get a DM from someone you actually don't know, when it doesn't have to be private at all. Save DMs for things that really should be discreet - though I recommend not using twitter at all for genuinely confidential stuff. Too many opportunities for disaster. Again, I will make all this much clearer as we come to it.

TWITTER FOR AUTHORS - PART 1: WHY?

My blog posts about Twitter are now best covered in the ebook, Tweet Right. 

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I have removed the content of this blog post because the free sample of Tweet Right covers the ground. Download it here.